.. That's not my name..

I've been called many things in my life.. many things i'm sure i'm not even aware of..
from nick-names.. to family names... to mean names.. to nice names.. named by rumors.. named by school... named by career choice.. named by boyfriend...
from.. 'that one blonde chick from skyline that hangs out with....' to 'oooh ya! that's the chick that....'

I name everything in my life... furniture included!
Every boy that has ever been in my life.. or one of my sisters... has a name that their mama didn't give them.. that they're known as around my apartment and my house.. some.. are nicer than others..

Our basement just flooded... so we got all new furniture.. and oooooh did i go to town on naming THAT!! .. we've always had a big.. huge.. giant.. hot-tub couch that fills a whole alcove in our basement.
When i was in 8th grade.. i decided it needed a name.. Austin is what we came up with.. and Austin has been Austin ever since. He now has a short leather couch next to him named 'Willow'.. a longer leather couch named 'Ron Burgendy'.. a rug named Svahnk.. it's quite the crew!
I had a pillow in my apartment that was white and fuzzy.. it's name was zeus.. and it was my guard pillow...

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet "
What's in a title..? Whether you name something or not.. it doesn't change what it is..
We name EVERYTHING. We title EVERYTHING in our lives.. We can't help it.. It keeps the world on the same page...
In order to have a common language.. to be able to understand what the heck ANYONE says to each other.. we have to name everything.
If someone calls a tree.. a flower.. it doesn't change the fact that it's a tree.. and the person calling it a flower just looks demented.
I can call Austin.. Austin.. but it doesn't change the fact that he's a couch..

THINGS in this world are so straight forward like that...
If someone told you that there were no arms on a chair.. and you could clearly see that there were arms on it... you wouldn't believe them.. and again.. you'd question their eyesight.. and probably sanity.
A chair.. is always going to act like a chair... you would never be blindsided into thinking.. "woooaahhhh this chair is TOTALLY acting like a cupboard.."
Yet PEOPLE.. are so much more complex!
You can tell people that someone is your best friend...
but if you're kissing them.. hanging out with them every second.. and having "casual dinners" every week.... bro. i'm sorry... you're dating them.
call it what you want.. name it what you want... it doesn't change what it is.

so.. the first part of this.. i'm gonna tell you how insignificant these names are..
they are either simply stating the obvious.. covering something up or a lie.. or defining something..that even left undefined would be the same thing.. only without a name.

Call me what you want.. it doesn't change who i am.

My friend Taylor is in a relationship with this guy.. Rick.
Rick has a "best friend" that is not Taylor.. Her name is Rachel. Rick goes to Rachel with all of his problems.. she knows everything about his relationship with Taylor.. and gives him advice about it all the time! She's "one of his boys"... "one of his homies".. They've never dated... never kissed.. and Rick told Taylor that it was strictly friendly.. that she had absolutely nothing to worry about..
However.. instead of going to Taylor about problems they were having in their own relationship.. he didn't want to be naggy.. so he would talk it over with Rachel to get over it.
He didn't want Taylor to worry about the things going wrong in his life.. so he would take them to Rach.
The more issues Rick and Taylor had... the closer him and Rach got..
The closer Rick and Rach got... the farther apart Him and taylor got....

He could name it what he wanted... he could title it and define it in anyway he wanted to justify the situation...
it couldn't change what it was.
He was choosing Rachel over Taylor.. and The Taylor-Rick relationship was jeopardized for the sake of the Rick-Rachel one.
He could blow blue smoke out his pie hole to Tay about Rach being just a friend as much as he wanted... Rachel was more his girlfriend than taylor was.. because he was treating her like it.

Charolette was talking to her.. sort-of-almost-but not quite- boyfriend (we know how THAT goes..) about a rumor she heard.
The rumor was that he was kissing a bunch of other people.. which obviously didn't make her very happy..
When she addressed the rumor.. he claimed that he had kissed ONE girl.. and HE didn't even kiss HER.. SHE kissed HIM!! so OBVIOUSLY it should've been ok..
He said that he didn't have any feelings whatsoever for this dumb ho that he kissed so he hadn't mentioned it... he thought it was insignificant and unimportant.
HE. WAS. WRONG.
This situation was titled... "She kissed me!"
Hey Dummy... 2 lips lock.... there is kissing involved.... It doesn't matter who went the 90 and who went the 10.. you kissed EACH OTHER! and excuse me Mr. Brain fart... if you didn't care about the girl AT ALL... then why the heck did you kiss her retard?!
If it HONESTLY didn't even matter enough for you to bring it up to your almost-sort of girlfriend.. when clearly if she found out it would cause contention.. then why did you do it?!

No. You're sorry because you got caught. AT LEAST give it the proper name....
title the situation.. "i'm sorry! it shouldn't have happened.." or even "Yes we kissed.. it was at a rough time i should've said something now that we're moving forward.."

But no. you are a man. complete with a male ego.. complete with a knack for scheming and pushing the envelope..
You don't admit things until they are brought to the surface... then you try and talk your way out of them.. THEN when all the facts are on the table.. you're ready to move on!!

Take notes bud...
Girls are different than guys!
Guys get in a fight.. punch each other.. and 5 seconds later are best friends again without even talking through ANYTHING..
GIRLS on the other hand... if you get in a fight... we want to know why.. how.. what.. who. and where.. and we want straight up honest answers!
No.. she kissed me.. no.. ya buuut.. JUST TELL US WHAT HAPPENED!
if you are honest.. if you get the issue on the table.. THEN and ONLY THEN do we have an opportunity to forgive you... the more you mess up the story.. the more you try and get around it... the deeper the hole your diggin gets.. and the more shady you become in our eyes.
We're not retarded.. we like to move on from things too.. just let us bask on FACTS for a sec and get a little venting out of our system!!
Then.. if you've done something wrong... apologize.. melt our hearts.. maybe throw some yellow roses in if you were that much of a tool... THEN we'll move on!
Thank you.

So.. "she kissed me".. and "We kissed".. are the same thing.
call it what you will.. it still happened.. hence.. the insignificance of the name..
its a bad interpretation of what went down.

"Best friend".. and "girl i spend more time and energy on than you" are the same thing..
at least if you were calling it by its REAL name you would recognize it! buuut.. still an insignificant name..

However insignificant the name is.. if named the right thing.. it puts everyone on the same page..
we're gonna talk about the importance of giving something the RIGHT name..

Nobody would know a tree is a tree unless you name it and call it a tree... when everyone is one the same page.. recognizing that it's a tree.. we don't have anxiety of 'what the heck is that brown thing with leaves growing out of it..!?'

Guys... us girls aren't schizophrenic.. we don't have anxiety ALLLLL the time about what's going on in our relationships..
we aren't as needy as you make us out to be! we don't need validation of your affection for us if you show it! We wouldn't be questioning ANYTHING if we felt secure in the relationships you put us through! We don't ENJOY being on crack!! Just man up! Tell us you love us! SHOW us you love us... Give our relationship the stupid titles we need to know you're not going anywhere.. then we'll CALM DOWN!

The reason we want to have a 'name' for our relationship is so that we can know what it is! We see you afraid of a title and think...'he must not want to be with me'.. or 'he HAS to want to be with someone else'
YOU look at a title as something dumb.. that doesn't need to be defined because.. whether you call it something or not.. it doesn't change what it is.

GIRLS... here's your wake up call. THEY'RE RIGHT. it doesn't change what you are whether you title it or not..
GUYS... understand WHY they want you to!! They feel like if they don't tie you down and brand you.. that you're gonna run away from them!


Names are insignificant... however.. when used for good and not evil... when used appropriately.. they calm the troubled and bring clarity to confusion..
They are necessary to communicate.

A rose by any other name.. yaaaa shakespeare it would smell just as sweet... it would still BE a rose.. but if someone called it another name.. people wouldn't know they were talking about a rose..

Call me what you want.. it doesn't change who i am..
but call me what i am.. and you'll understand me more..
Call me my name.. and i'll answer!

until tomorrow!
xoxo
-McCracka