...It's complicated.

You know the people, events, feelings, and thoughts in your life that when you're asked to describe them the ONLY thing that comes to mind is.... "even if i explained it you wouldn't understand.."
We belong to the "DTR" generation. We like to define things.. every step of the way.
i recently had to write a paper for one of my classes on the psychology of dating.. i began..

I am a part of the “DTR” generation. We like to complicate love as much as possible. When it comes to relationships, each new day brings a new DTR.. the next more complicated than the previous.. you first have to be “talking”.
Once you get past this stage and you’re comfortable admitting that you’ve been in the same room more than once with the other person... (which in some cases takes a while!).. you move to the "just hanging out" phase (which hopefully soon after turns in to the full blown “hanging out” phase.) From here you teeter and totter between “we’re just talking”, “we’re sort of hanging out”, and “we’ve like, gone on a couple dates but.. it’s nothing serious” for a while until you can FINALLY move into the “UN-exclusively dating” phase.
You would think by this point that you are close to forming some sort of commitment relationship - even on the tiniest scale right? Wrong. You have about 10 phases to go. The time it takes to move from “UN-exclusively dating” to the “sort-of-exclusively dating” / "ya.. i'd probably be upset if they kissed someone else" phase.. all depends on friends and how cute you look together in your tagged pictures on facebook.
When you finally move mountains and get to the “exclusively dating” phase you would think that you are completely committed to one another.. Once again you are wrong. At this stage.. at least one of the people in the relationship has to get the confirmation they need in order to finally take the biggest step in their lives so far............. making the relationship “facebook official”
Once in this phase, declared for all of their old high school friends and weird relatives to see, the relationship can escalate further and hopefully, if they’re lucky, they’ll slowly but surely start moving to the "happily ever after" phase.

No matter what phase you're in.. "it's complicated" describes it waaaaay better than actually telling someone the details of "and then SHE said... and then HE SAID.... and then it was like... WOOOOAHHHHH..!!!.... ya follow me?"

People are so worried about what the rest of the world thinks about their relationship that they hardly address what THEY think about it until they get the universal approval that they're a) not moving too fast.. b)going to make extremely attractive children with this person and c) that she/he feels the same way they do.. and they're defining the "us" factor the same to people they talk to.

Even when talking about random things.. "it's complicated" seems to fit the mold better than a straight answer...
"what are you majoring in..?" "uh.. its complicated" so.. you're undecided? or you invented one?
"What are you doing for your date tonight?" "oh.. uh.. well.. it's complicated".... i promise dinner and a movie.. eeevvveen if you throw bowling in there.. wont throw me off.
"What did you and James talk about??" "man. it's COMPLICATED." alright cool. so you don't wanna tell me.
Right you are!... it's complicated!!!

In every step in our lives.. it's not the fact that something is complicated that screws us up. Sometimes things are just that... COMPLICATED. But it's when we complicate the obvious and label things as complicated when in reality.. we just need to address the simplicity of the matter and take confusion as part of it..

Crap. now I'M getting complicated.

think about love.
there is no formula. there is no right or wrong way about it. it involves your heart AND your head. and nobody can tell you how you know you're in it!
In every dating situation there of course is a LOGICAL way to go about things.. but if relationships were based on logic.. most of them wouldn't work out.. we're human! we make mistakes! and most of the time we have no idea what we're talking about because duuuuh.. "its complicated"!!
Anything that validates taking an equal portion of emotion and logic.. and then isn't afraid to make them lopsided.. is going to be not only complicated.. but straight up on crack.

Meet Jane.
if jane is in a relationship (or in one of the phases of a relationship) where she keeps getting hurt yet couldn't get out of it if she tried..
Her logic tells her.. because James (her dude) doesn't know what he wants.. but knows he wants her.. she needs to walk away.
Her heart tells her.. she wants James.. so she should stay.
Depending on how drunk she is off of her Ben and Jerrys.. she can either.. listen to her head.. or listen to her heart.
There is no wrong answer...
cuz duuh.. ITS COMPLICATED.


It's like when you ask someone what's wrong and they say "Everything"..
no dummy everything isn't wrong! itemize and conquer.
decide what is complicated.. or whats wrong.. and deal with it.
leave the rest ALONE!!! The things right in your life deserve to be left alone.. the simple things DESERVE to be uncomplicated.. don't mix it all together!!

How Jane feels about James is pretty simple.
How James feels about Jane is simple too.
The complicatedness of the situation comes in at.. "so.. i noticed you and Jane are kinda hangin out.. what's the deal with you guys anyway?"
At this point.. they're forced to THINK about how they feel before they're even positive about how they feel about how they feel.

"EVERYTHING IS WRONG."
"ok.. drama queen. define everything.."
"well.. ... uuh.... ........school sucks!"
"ok. so school is wrong. anything else?"
".......... no."
"have a cookie. school will always suck"

or..

"MY. LIFE. IS. OVERRRR.. EVERY SINGLE THING IS WRONG!!"
"i highly doubt that... name 5"
"i ran out of make up!!"
"mmk... solution to solving ALL YOUR LIFE's problems.. get more.
wow. see. im like a genie! "

See my point?.. leave the rest of your life ALONE!

Dont' self diagnose your life as "one that sucks"
don't all the sudden think.."i must be depressed!!! I'm JUST not happy anymore.. my life SUCKS!!"
bro.. life's complicated. YOU control you're happiness!! You'll live! and don't stress.. in the end..none of us get out alive!

Take a minute to uncomplicate your life!! Simplify the things that you can control!! Do more things that you KNOW make you happy!
and the things you can't control?? LET THEM GO! LET those things be complicated.. you'll break your brain trying to solve world peace. Solve YOUR world. Make it peaceful. De-clutter-ize it.. De-complicate it!

Go with the flow... Make decisions and stick with them... don't be afraid to be flexible..and hey.. Stop worrying about the rest of the world!! Take a deeeeeep breath.. You're fine. You're going to be fine.

Soundtrack to my life song(s).. playing at the same time.. complete madness:
"Oops i did it again.." -Britney Spears
"That should be me" -Justin Beiber

Wait wait... did you guys HEAR what JB did for Selena Gomez for V-day?? Home boy bought EVERY FLOWER IN THE STORE and had them delivered to her with a note that said.."every day with you is like valentines day"
I can't wait til he embraces our love and relationship. Baby booooyyy.. i like yellow roses.. cinnamon hearts.. and star gazing. love you. Selena.. answer your front door.. there may or may not be ninja's waiting for you.

peace. love. chocolate.

Until tomorrow!
xox
-Callymon