October 18, 2013

How to know if you're dating a loser...

There are 2 types of people in this world: winners and losers.
Sure, some winners lose occasionally - some losers get lucky and win a few. But in the end, the winner's losses are for their benefit - the loser's wins to their demise. 

Winners surround themselves with people that are better than them. It could be that they know more about ONE thing, or that they're more skilled in ONE tiny area - if they're better than the winner, the winner wins by being around them. The tricky thing about being a true winner, is that winners often times feel like losers, and they're ok with it! They feel inferior, realize that they are the weak link in one aspect of a relationship or another, and they accept this fact - because a winner's inferiority wont last long. A winner that feels like a loser is simply a racehorse before they open the gates. They are constantly being lifted up by the winners around them in areas that they would otherwise fall short, being pushed towards finish lines they had no intention of crossing, improving their quality of character and becoming well rounded winners. 

Losers on the other hand surround themselves with people that make them feel like winners. They are constantly the one lifting others up so that they can maintain a feeling of being above them in one aspect or another. They have the upper-hand in most of their relationships and they like it that way. Losers HATE feeling like losers so they rarely associate with true winners - they simply broaden their circle with more losers. A loser that feels like a winner is an idiot.. and usually the guy at parties doing dumb stuff. 

Winners date people they feel are out of their league. 
Losers date people they feel superior to. 

Winners are comfortable being wrong, seeing it as a learning opportunity and a way to become right. 
Losers will never admit to being wrong, further increasing the odds of them always being wrong. 

Winners don't have to tell you they're winners.
Losers will tell you they're a winner to make sure you don't think they're a loser. 

When a winner dates a loser, the winner has most likely fallen for the smoke screen the loser has put up to hide their loserness. They are attracted to the things the loser has perfected faking. They are attracted to the loser's feeling and attitude of superiority at first like a moth to a flame, because winners are ok feeling like losers and see it as an opportunity for growth. Hopefully the loser doesn't get prego before the winner figures out they suck or this could be a miserable future for a true winner. 
On the loser's side - when they date a winner.. they like the feeling at first of feeling superior to a winner.. they see it as a win on their part and continue to perfect the facade that drugged the winner. However the loser, unless they are able to change, will be just as miserable in a long term relationship with a winner because sooner or later they'll have to admit they're a fraud when faced with actual winning circumstances or they'll have to walk away. It's a lose-lose. 

When a loser dates a loser... measuring sticks are kept in back pockets to be brought out at any time. Competing egos and constant wrestling for the upper-hand is to be expected. Instead of lifting each other up, they will find ways to put each other down so that they can feel superior picking them back up. They break each other so that they can fix each other. Everybody loses. 

When a winner dates a winner, it doesn't matter WHO is right but WHAT is right. They are constantly learning from each other and allowing each other to grow in and outside of their relationship. Winners are happy for each other's success. They want the winner they're dating to continue to win, and truly wish for them to be happy, healthy, successful, and productive. A winner knows that they are winning if their partner is winning. They also want to win not only for themselves, but to benefit their winning partner. They feel the need to win, not out of pressure, but out of a desire to be the best they can be for the person they feel is even better than they are. Winners together are known as "power couples". True winners allow their partner to lift them up, and are willing to lift up their partner when they fall. winners + winners = #winning. duh. 

if you're a winner and find yourself dating a loser: run. all ye perish who enter here. 

if you're a loser dating a winner: you probably want to tie them down before they realize you're a loser cuz whether you're dating a loser or a winner, life is going to suck for you. so. get prego. probably. 

if you're a loser dating a loser: good luck. hopefully two negatives will eventually make a positive here when you realize that you both suck someday? 

if you're a winner dating a winner: contact disney so they can make a movie about your life. Though life, dating, and relationships are hard - you have the formula for a happy ending. hold on to your winner. 


How to know if you're dating a loser: 
- they feel the need to make you feel like you're wrong.
- they are jealous and possessive 
- they celebrate mediocrity 
- when they lose, even silly things, they turn into the Hulk
- their friends suck (loser circle) 
- they don't like you being successful or having fun without them
- when others compliment you, they hate it/ get insecure 
- they drive big lifted trucks  (not always the case). 



Surround yourself with people that you think are more awesome than you are. Create your own winner's circle. Don't talk to losers. they suck.. and everybody wins! 


xoxo
-CM


March 15, 2013

Tinder Loving Care

I believe that self worth, and your position on various social, emotional, and psychological spectrums -  comes from averaging your number of facebook friends, tinder-matches, twitter-followers, and likes on your most recent instagram picture. If this number is high, you most likely will succeed in every endeavor. If your number lies below average - get the freak out. You will most likely die alone. with 50 cats. and a photoshop/netflix addiction.
We all live vicariously through our much-cooler-internet-selves... wishing to someday live the life we pretend to on facebook .. with a newsfeed full of teen angst.. haters.. and golds gym die hards wearing nothing in their pictures but a flat-brimmed-hat.. begging us to draw them like one of our french girls..

"wearing this... wearing... ONLY this...." 

we couldn't possibly hope for more. 
I mean c'mon... the ability to add random strangers.. stalk them... search them without a warrant.. get all up in their koolaid.. while telling ourselves we're not creepy.. with their "Summer '09" album cover as our phone background - what more could a college student want?!! 





Oh ya.. a creepy internet dating app that exploits the shallowness of your peers and allows you to skip the "does he think i'm smokin hot or definitely not" convos you have with yourself about all your guy friends. Welcome to the world of Tinder.
For those of you who aren't hip.. Tinder is the new rage. A picture appears on your iphone screen... full of possibility... looking like this:
"I'm ready to party"


This: 
"I'm super athletic" 


this: 
"I'm really good with kids" 


or this: 
"I work at Vivint"


You then face the moment of truth.....the power of your future.. the existence of your future children... and the excitement of your friday night.. all depend on one thing: knowing the difference between your right.......... and your left. 
If you swipe the picture to the left.. this option is lost and gone forever... there are no take-backs on tinder... no second chances after they've completed their pre-spring-break-P90X cycle.
Once swiped left an option is lost and anonymously gone forever from your radar. yes. anonymously. This homie doesn't know that you swiped left.. he isn't notified that his awesome personality didn't shine through enough in his 4 chosen photos and sentence of a status... 
thanks tinder. You've avoided many broken hearts and shoulder chips. 


If you swipe the picture right..... this new acquaintance has just been accepted into your world... this new.. "i'm here to meet people for the sole purpose of something love related and therefore have given you permission to message me creepy things and have no shame while competing against other cheesy guys in pursuit of your phone number and a spot in your bootycall line up".. world. It's like facebook.. only you can't see how crazy they are... It's like instagram... but they have 4 pictures to go off of and can message you directly.. no witnesses. 

For the first hour.. you are generous with your right-swipes. you don't want to be match-less.. sitting alone.. without any creepy messages to compare with your friends... so you swipe a couple 5's right... a couple 6's at best... the ones you KNOW are going to swipe-right you right back. phew. a match. you don't have to jump off a bridge now. 

Then.. after you've spent the bulk of your afternoon giggling at how many people you know that are on here... pretending like you're the new bachelor/bachelorette.. giving each doosie a moment to say their goodbyes before swiping them left.. 



You find yourself with a plethora of semi-attractive.. super-tooled-out guys... hitting you with line after line like darts on a love board.. hoping one sticks. 
After the first hour you decide to get more selective while still contemplating the hardest question of your existence..... 
do you simply swipe right because you know someone... or because you know them and know you wouldn't date and/or hook up with them randomly... do they get swiped left...? 

Do you swipe this familiar face into a lonely tinder abyss because you are facing reality... or swipe them right to see if they secretly think you're hot...? 
Curiosity most likely gets to you.. and you swipe everyone you know right... including the occasional same-sex match that tinder likes to throw at you to keep things interesting. 

While i'm sure many success stories will come very soon.. complete with fantastic super convincing commercials... in the meantime we are left with #dysfunctionalmessengerprobs and the hope that our future soul mate is tindering his way to you one swipe at a time...

One swipe closer to forever everyday.. "congratulations you have a new match!" 

Happy Swiping! 

Until Later...
xoxo 
Callymon