.. Girls Rule - Boys Drool ..

We live everyday like spoiled brats.
We have drive thru's.. ATM fast cash.. facebook on our cell phones... multiple choice tests.. lap tops.. remotes..
We have the privilege and curse of having the option to choose.
We are spoiled rotten with all the choices in our day.. frosted flakes or golden grams... pizza or pasta... that we're paralyzed by the decision making process.
We're so scared to make ONE decision... because it eliminates other options! So scared to make a commitment to something because it closes other doors.
In the world of food.. the geniuses of grub came up with a solution... the combo.
You can get a half a sandwich with a little cup of soup and a side salad and no one will even look at you weird!
You go RIGHT ahead and mix those frosted flakes with the Lucky charms and captain crunch and call it an epic breakfast!
You never HAVE to let one of the options go. You don't have to make the life changing decision between Pizza or cookies... they even cost less if you get them together!
Go cut AND color your hair. It'll look better if you don't choose between them..

You know what the so called "solution" that men of our day have come up with for this? hanging out.
The most dreaded sentence of a single girls life... "Can't we just..uhh.. hang out..?"
No you tool. Just because you want to legally be able to date like 25 chicks.. kiss them all.. never have to commit to any of them past what you want to... STILL have them at your beckon call because you lead them on enough to think it's eventually going somewhere.. and make them believe that eventually this "hanging out" will magically emerge to you dumping your other options and committing to them.... who do you think you are? The bachelor? No. FALSE. bad. retarded. we want BOYFRIENDS dang it! Not buddies!

NO boy. You CAN'T treat a girl like a disposable plate that you can either wash off or throw away when you want to.
You CAN'T be given the option to dilly and dally around not knowing what you want or when you want it and expect a standing ovation when you come to your senses!
You CAN'T hang out with 10 of us.. screw with our emotions.. and not expect a war.. or at least a few choice words from yours truly.
I have a theory...
When we're like 5 years old.. we learn a couple things that later on in life we think we've grown out of.. Girls rule - Boys drool... Boys have cooties.. no means no... never date a musician.. and when you get old enough.. hang out at the law school or medical school as much as you can..
These things have crossed my mind a time or two through recent experiences and serious vent sesh's with my girlfriends...
All of us should go home.. shake our parents..and say.. "WHHHHYYYYY DIDN'T YOU MAKE ME LISTEN TO YOU WHEN I WAS 5?!! obviously i don't care what you say NOW.. but you coulda DONE something then!!!"

Girls rule.. Boys drool? This should be a billboard.. a class.. a moto.. a theme.. SOMETHING epic!
Girl's Rule:
Girls are the boss. Happy wife happy life... happy girlfriend or broken nose..
Girls are the rock in the relationship. We know what we want.. even if the dude can't figure out what it is most of the time.. We understand the ups and downs.. and we put up with waaaayyy more crap than we ever should have to!

Girls... how many of us can HONESTLY say that we prefer being single over being in a relationship? ..... if you answered yes... you're either in denial.. or you just got out of a realllll bad relationship and.. sorry hun... you're in denial.
The ONLY reason we even go through the sucky thing we call dating..or in most cases.. "hanging out".. is to find the right one.
The one we don't HAVE to wear make up around cuz he thinks we're beautiful without it..
The one we don't EVER have to worry about anything with cuz we know he's gonna stick around no matter what..
The one we can stay home and watch movies and take naps with and not feel bad AT ALL for not going out..
we sit. we wait. we hope. and freakin PRAY he's out there! As we patiently prepare ourselves to be the best dang girlfriend he's ever had!
In elementary school... when they throw rocks at us... we're told it means they like us...
obviously it's THIS age that they start handing crack out to little boys.... "hey boys.. if you like a girl.. no no don't smile at her.. dont you DARE hold her hand... NEVER tell her you think she's cute... hey i know!!! THROW ROCKS AT HER!" .. good plan retards. you give us just as much brain damage as you give yourselves.
While the cute little girls giggle and say... "mom! tommy threw a rock at me today!!! maybe TOMORROW.... he'll pull my hair!!!! we're progressing so wonderfully!"
Jr. High and High School.... They finally decide they like us and they wanna show us... but they also like her.. and her.. and her.. AND HER... so.. they either play us like an xbox or they keep things casual enough that "they're doing nothing wrong".

Girls... Allow me to take you to "grow some guts class"..
I have a couple friends in very different areas of the dating spectrum.. Of course.. like i said.. we had major vent sesh's this weekend.. so allow me to share their pain with you...

First up is Sarah....
She's hopelessly devotedly head over heels heart stoppin booty shakin wanna tie the knot in LOVE with this boy Darren.
Sarah.. being a girl.. rules. She is the boss of her emotions. She knows what she wants. She knows its Darren.. Because she's a girl.. she's also gonna wait for Darren to stop being a tool and realize that he wants to be with her.
..... She's been waiting a year and a half.
Darren on the other hand.. being a dude.. drools. He drools over stacy...He drools over Cami.. he drools when it comes to commitment..He knows he wants to be with Sarah.. He's TOLD sarah he wants to be with her.. But.. HE DROOLS...
He's so afraid to commit to Sarah because it eliminates stacy.. cami.. the option to walk into a party and dance freely to 'single ladies'.
What if as soon as he committed to Sarah.. he were to find something ELSE.. something potentially BETTER.....
Gross darren you tool. Sarah waits patiently for you to start thinkin with your mind.. or at least your heart!... instead of something else.. while you take her for granted and play games with her mind to make sure she sticks around.. to make sure she's still an OPTION for you.

Sarah... i'm gonna send you into classroom #1.
The first thing you need to do hun is look HOT. Although the saying 'you don't know what you got til it's gone' is very true... obviously you're not ready to be 'gone' yet.. so we'll add the statement... 'a dude doesn't know what he's got.. or how smokin hot his -should be- girlfriend is.. until a bunch of other dudes tell him'!! Make friends with his friends. Go places with him. Save the sweats and no make up for a couple weeks.. make him CRAZY with your smokin hot good looks.. and the whole time you have the attitude of.. what? this old thing? naahh..
Second... HAVE WITNESSES! YOU know you're good to him. HE knows you're good to him... has this gotten you anywhere this far? NO! Other people obviously need to validate your tool of a wanna be boyfriend.. so.. you being good to him in front of those he cares about.. will serve you in ways you don't even know.
You know how we tell our hair dressers EVERYTHING..? I'm pretty sure a locker room is the same to a guy as a salon is to us... secrets of the universe are revealed! Guys talk. And whether they want to admit it or not... they all want a smokin hot amazing girlfriend EVENTUALLY.. they're all just in different 'drooling phases'..
Those who have grown out of their toolishness will give advice to those going through it that.. hey bud.. if you have a chick.. that's smokin hot.. and THAT good to you... what the heck are you doin with stacy cami and laquesha? MAKE A MOVE.. before she moves away!!

and last.... You need to set a time limit.
I know this is hard. and i KNOW that you would wait until the end of the earth and longer for this kid. But clearly it is hurting you.. and some boys never grow up. This taking you for granted stuff could be more than just a phase.. and if he doesn't know what an amazing girl he has waiting for him.. then he doesn't deserve you. A year and a half is a LONG time chica.. YOU know your emotions.. YOU know your time frame.. but you also need to know your limits.. how much can one heart take..? Don't stick around to find out.

The second Girl is Jenny.
Jenny is in her quest for finding the right guy..or at least she PRETENDS she's still on the quest..
Not gonna lie.. Jenny has MAD swag!
She's dating a Utah football player.. a BYU football player.. A Law school student.. and a model... HELLO... we should worship jenny.. you go glen coco.
HOWEVER... she.. like the rest of us.. is also waiting around for a guy. His name is Cam. Although her dating roster may be longer than some of ours... there is ONE that she wants to be with. BUT.. he has commitment issues.. weird right..? Guys NEVER have those..
Cam thinks they should date other people while they're dating each other to not only keep it casual.. but to make sure they're right for each other.
So.... she's been going out with this one kid in particular in the off periods of their on and off-ness. His name is Marcus. Marcus has fallin in love with her.
She didn't realize how often she was going out with Marcus because her mind and heart were with Sir. waitsalot.. But.. turns out. there have been SEVERAL dates.. waaaaayyy more than she thought.
She doesn't want to stop dating him because she likes Marus to a certain extent.. and she HAS to be dating SOMEONE else or she'll give up the upper hand and casual attitude with Cam.. But the more she dates Marcus.. the more he wants to be with her.

Jenny... you're going to classroom #2.

I know you like spending time with Marcus.. But even dating someone that you enjoy being with... but you don't see it going anywhere.. is BAD.
you're wasting Marcus's time.. Your time.. and I would say Cam's time but honey... you wanna address Cam issues.. go to class with Sarah!
I promise you are doing the right thing by telling Marcus that.. although you guys have a lot of fun.. you don't see it going anywhere and he's such a great guy that you would be selfish to waste his time that he could be spending with someone better for him.
Done and done.
Let him go you heart throb.

The last Girl's name is Odette.
Odette and her boyfriend Derek have been dating for almost 2 years. They. Are. Perfect.
If there was a hallmark card for relationships.. they would be on the cover. THEY should stand on top of wedding cakes. You wanna kill em its so perfect.
Odette rules.. she's not afraid to take charge in the relationship and let derek know how she feels.. She loves him and would do anything for him.. but she's not whipped to a pulp like the rest of us. It's a mutual respect relationship.
Derek drools... over odette. He would walk through earth wind and fire for her. They are literally each other's everything.
They're homies. They're lovers. They're best friends. They're giggle buddies. They're running partners. Cuddle kittens. Xbox competitors. ALL of the above.

Odette will be in class room #3.
The lesson she needs to learn is.. HANG ON TO THAT ONE!!!
She thinks that the fire is dimming.. that 2 years is a long time.. that this comfortability could get old...
honey child... YOU have what ALLLLL of us are looking for... if you let it go. YOU. ARE. INSANE.
If you don't love him.. say goodbye. if you do... say HELLLOOOO lets get married!

The reason it's worked out so amazing is she hasn't changed herself for him... they've grown together. She hasn't been his puppy dog.. they basically COMPETE for who can do more for the other.. When you all get in a relationship like Odette and Derek.. that is clearly gonna last Far longer than Forever... MARRY THE DUDE.
Be ok with being happy. Be absolutely content with having someone who loves you! Don't look for a chase. you'll get tired of running and want to be exactly where you are!


Bottom line..
Girls.. you need to decide what you want and what's fair to you. The guys.. they're CLUELESS.. they have no IDEA what they want. They want the combo.. a little stacy.. a little Cami.. a little frosted flakes.. If you give them exactly what they want they'll let you chase them and chase them until they break their legs and are FORCED to stop and realize that you're the best thing for them.
You deserve someone who knows how great you are. Someone who would take a bullet for you.. or a rock. You are smokin hot.. you are incredible. and the right guy is waiting around some corner that will trip you and make you fall in love with him. OR.. your tool box of a dude now.. will finally get his act together.
They all come around eventually...
and when they do. make em work for it..
cuz remember GIRLS RULE.. BOYS DROOL.

Until tomorrow! or later today..
xoxox
Mclovin.