Love Games...

Every couple has a story.. Every broken heart has it's past.. Every girl has the list of tool's she's dated before she found prince charming.. and every human being ALIVE has the book of unwritten rules about dating.
The rule book consists of the rules for "Playing the Game" some of us call Love.

How many times you have to run into someone before you can act interested in them... How many dates you go on before you pull out the big guns and curl your hair and put on the jeans that make your butt look fabulous.
How many dates do you HAVE to go on before you can kiss someone and maintain your "hardball" status..
How many days you have to wait before calling someone back..
How many days you have to wait before adding them on facebook... and how many dates you have to go on before you can post on their wall.. allowing their crazy ex's to now stalk you.. and letting everyone know that you know each other..

Games. Games. Games.
well.. every other game we play has players.. water boys.. play books.. rule books.. coaches.. all stars.. time outs.. penalties.. and clearly people score..
All these games we play also end with winners... and losers. nothing in between.
This game is no different.

**Rule: It's all about the chase...

There's a rule in this magnificent rule book.. that tells us that every guy wants a chase.
That if they think they have you.. they don't want you.. until they break your heart enough for you to walk away.. and then they come crawling.. usually at this point you're dating someone else.. or are too hurt to take them back....
...Who am i kidding.. usually at this point.. the chick blames herself.. takes him back with open arms.. and offers him a diet coke and a back massage.

This chase is set in motion by the lopsidedness of new relationships.
Unless you're one of the "michael bolton" exceptions that, like i said in the last post, make eye contact and float together.. One person's interest is sparked more than the other at the beginning.
The one who is less sure about the whole situation, not only gets the upper hand.. but they get the fanciest running shoes they can find.. as they begin their chase.

Now girls... i know if a guy makes you chase them.. it casts a spell over you.. lighting the fuse on your insecurities and overall drive for this boy.. it makes you want them more and more and more and MORE!!
The situation usually means he's dating other people.. he doesn't have his life together.. or he thinks you're too "Easy to get".

Dudes.. if a girl makes you chase them.. they don't care about losing you.. and therefore will watch you jump and dance through hoops while they sit there at their sleepovers with popcorn recapping what a fool you look like. Which sets the fuse in your male ego.. making you want them more.

i'm not even sure when a relationship reaches the phase where games are pushed aside and you're actually.. who would've thought.. IN a relationship! But when this point comes.. it's either dangerous.. cuz someone thinks "the fire is gone".. or.. lets be honest here.. ya get hitched.

At this point there's nothing else to figure out. You actually CARE about losing the other person.. so why would you run away from them? You CARE about their happiness so.. why would you make them sad or angry on purpose? THEIR happiness has a direct connection to YOUR happiness.. so why would you mess with it?

**Myth Buster: We only make someone chase us if we don't care about losing them.

**Rule: It's all up to the guy..

For centuries damsels in distress have waited patiently in their towers for their prince charming to ride up.. slay a dragon.. and rescue them.
Waited in their apartment allll night waiting for Prince charming to call them...
Waited for prince charming to kiss them...
Waited for prince charming to make every single plan.. complete their lives.. and tell them where to go.. what to do.. cuz without Prince Charming.. Princess lazy butt would be lost forever in some tower roasting marshmallows on dragon breath.

Heaven forbid there are such things as girls that know what they want..
That aren't afraid to get off their butts.. charge from the sidelines.. and make things happen.. The ones that slay their own dragon, and leave a note for Prince charming at the bottom of the tower that says.. "well.. i'm tired cuz i just slayed a friggin dragon.. so go get some grub and fix yourself up while i shower and take a 10 minute power nap and meet me at the bottom of the tower.. picnic basket and wedding ring in hand.. in like 45 minutes mmk? xo love - Princess legitness"

If you can't tell.. i'm a girl that's not afraid to fight for what she wants.
HOLD UP... yes, i believe that chivalry is absolutely NOT dead.. and i think the dude should put forth MAD effort and do everything prince charming would do if he had a dead fish as a girlfriend... HOWEVER.. i'm not gonna sit on my butt and expect him to do everything!
Girls.. its OK to call him first every once in a while.. it's OK to throw down and make some lip action happen!! It's ok to tell him what makes you happy!! how else is he freaking supposed to know?!
Help a Prince out here!! Slay a few dragons.. Take some initiative.. make him feel like he's not dating sleeping beauty!

**Myth Buster: It's only all up to the guy if you play dead! Girls if you want something.. go for it!

**Rule: if it's done over facebook.. it doesn't count

OK. so.. i began my facebook journey thinking that if anyone a)talks to me on fb first or b) asks for my number over facebook that is WRONG that is CREEPY and i'm going to end up on some late night.. dateline special because it's gonna be some 40 year old posing as justin bieber's hot older brother and i'm totally gonna fall for it and ALMOST get murdered!
But i've allowed myself to step into this new 'facebook' thing.
Hey. be honest with yourself... you KNOW unless a relationship status is confirmed on facebook it straight up DOESN'T COUNT. i don't care WHO you are! .. some people get facebook JUST to say they're in a relationship with someone!
So why can't friendships between people of the opposite sex be formed via facebook..?

the new rules:
1. they can't actually ask you on a date over facebook.. if they do you say 'homie.. pick up the phone or the answer is no'
2. They have to be able to be validated as a real person by at LEAST 5 people you know... we don't want anyone fallin off the face of the earth here
3. once the relationship leaves the facebook level.. you don't go back there.. you move forward... texting.. calling.. dating.. marriage.. whatev.
4. you tell NOBODY that you 'met him online' that sounds creepy.. you tell them you had mutual friends (which i'm sure you do.. check fb to make sure) that set you up... which if you think about is isn't a total lie here people.... you saw some hot guy.. saw that you had mutual friends with him.. added him.. and BOOOM! done and done.

**Myth buster: If it's COMPLETELY done over facebook it doesn't count... things can start there.. hey that's what social networking is FOR!

**Rule: all relationships have a formula.. if it worked for your friend that way.. it'll work for you.

FALSE!! every single relationship is as unique as a snowflake.. there are never 2 that are the same. My favorite is people that know 'exactly what you're going through'. I'm not saying they can't have an idea of what your going through and give you great advice that very well might come in handy through your trial but the emotions are different.. the people are different.. and the situation is therefore different.
JUST because your best friend was married 4 days after high school graduation and now has had 7 kids in 4 years doesn't mean that YOU will!
Just because your sister was married at 20 after dating the guy 11 days doesn't mean your relationship schedule is gonna go so easy breezy and beautiful...
There is no formula. There is no RIGHT way to fall or be in love. They're relationships between HUMANS.. and.. although some of us get DANG close.. NO HUMAN IS PERFECT! every single one of us is gonna have issues.. and they'll all be different. So, all of our relationships will be effected differently.

Let GO of the formula... let GO of the fact that you're the last one in your family to get married.. that you're the only one of your friends thats not in a relationship.. that your dude has taken TWICE as long as you thought to pop the question..
It's OK!! You are you. I am me. and John Jacob Jingle Himer Schmit is himself. we are not the same. our love lives will never be the same.
tackle your OWN demons. Don't let your grandmother pressure you into tackling more.

**Myth Buster: There IS no formula.. put the blinders up and focus on what is going on between YOU and YOUR BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND.. the world has no idea.. and they're only gonna screw it up.

So.. i know at the end of this i'm probably supposed to tell you to throw the rule book out the window..
But even in sports.. rules are there for a reason sometimes. However.. we all KNOW that these rules have exceptions.. loop holes.. and the dumb ones need to be ignored. Make a custom rule book for each relationship..

Out of every game there are winners.. and there are losers.
Don't play childish games.. you'll end up losing something amazing.
and if you choose to play any kind of game.. play the right kind..
you can always work to have more respect for or from someone.. you can always work to give someone a reason to love you more.. you don't have to play the "not gonna call YOU back.. not gonna call you FIRST.." games.
Re evaluate the relationships your in.. if you can't live without someone.. heLLLOO..
if you could never stand losing them.. quit the crap.. stop calling time out.. you've used up your penalties.. and you're about to foul out. The ref can only look the other way so many times.. step up your game before you lose.
Play to win.

PLay. Laugh. Grow.
xoxo
Princess Legitimacy