Three is a hard number.
Whether you're Regina George or not.. there will always be one person of the 3 that the other 2 are bound to fight over in some way.
There's always one person cut off of the side walk.. forced to walk behind and chime into the conversation when they feel it necessary.. the one constantly deriving tactics to cut one of the other 2 out of the coveted spot next to anything other than the lonely tree and plants that keep whacking them in the face while they practically eves drop on their friends in front of them.
There's one person in shot gun.. one person driving.. and one left in the back.. The person that's forced to loosen the middle seatbelt enough so they can awkwardly lean forward just enough to get in on the pointless pictures and creation of inside jokes that will be later posted on Facebook to prove all of them are friends and doing things with their lives... like driving around.
There's always someone that gets left out... someone that gets hurt... someone that's made feel uncomfortable.. and someone claiming the roll of superiority over the other 2, caught in the middle of the awkward love triangle they've formed.
I'm convinced that this observation was taken into account when forming the emoticon <3. that less than 3 = love.
When it comes to love, the world is doing everything they can to keep happy healthy relationships from forming and lasting by using this tactic of imbalance to its advantage.
A relationship always consists of 3 driving factors...
the woman with trust issues claiming she's not like most girls.. begging for security in a man she's praying isn't like the other douche bags she's dated...
The insecure jealous man... claiming he's neither.. begging for a non dramatic, yet vulnerable girl needing masculine tasks performed to make him feel needed, with eyes for no one but him..
and the 3rd party out there in the world.. trying to ruin everything.
Love is hard enough without having to prove yourself and compete for the attention of your man or woman, yet you can't find a relationship out there without one or more of the following:
1. a crazy ex trying to weasel their way into any part of the relationship they can manage..
2. a past discrepancy from a previous relationship that gave you all your "trust issues" and "walls" that you of course bring into your current situation that has nothing to do with the old douche bag you broke up with cuz uh.. duh.. he was a douche.
3. one set (or both sets) of friends wanting a wing man/woman that's NOT in a relationship, thus filling your head with the single sugarplum fairy.
4. or the rest of everyone else that you decide to bring into your relationship by telling them every detail, involving them in every decision.. and recruiting them for your army to take your side in every argument that they have no part of.
The thing about love is that it's more universal than we all seem to think. No matter how much you hate it when someone claims that they've been in your shoes and they know exactly how you feel... chances are.. they do. Until we all reach the point where we're happily married, we're either the dumpee.. the dumper.. the one that got a way.. or the one chasing the one that got away.. we either HAVE a crazy ex.. or we ARE the crazy ex. At one point or another in our lives, we get to experience it all, making each position more easily understood.
You break up with someone.. all is fine.. and then all the sudden they get in a relationship and its like Defcon 1!! All the sudden.. you are NOT ok. Understandable. You don't want this option to be forever checked off your list... there's no way that you want THEM happy before YOU'RE happy! it freaks you out to have something that you've had in your life for so long all the sudden slip through your fingers... so. you want to at least keep in contact with them.. you're just being friendly and cordial... you can TOTALLY be friends even if they're in a relationship... you just want them to know that you're fine with it.. you don't want them to think this changes anything....... Stop it right there you sneaky little son of a duck. You know what you're doing.. even if its buried somewhere in your subconscious. Consider the other side of the color wheel while you're pushing the green green green on them... they are filled with RED RED RED!!
When you're on the other side of things and you're trying to form a new and lasting relationship.. but one of your ex's keeps weaseling.. It ruins everything. Your current boyfriend or girlfriend (or even potential gf or bf) shouldn't have to compete with your ex for anything!
No matter the side of the spectrum you're coming from... the rule with ex's is.. as soon as you break up.. and want to move on... they are your EX. you sever ties.. you move past.. move on... or friggin get back together. you don't keep them at arms length.. you don't keep them around.. cuz as long as they're around they scare any sort of potential relationship that could happen away! If they occupy your heart and your mind at all, you have put your current relationship in a boxing ring with a ghost... in a situation they can't win.
A relationship is meant for 2 not 3... change your focus to your current situation. you don't 'owe' your ex anything. you can be cordial when seeing them, but the fact of the matter is, you have to eventually choose who you want to sit shotgun.. who you want to be walking next to on the sidewalk.. you have to decide who's feelings matter more to you NOW. if it's your ex.. then get back together with your ex and save the poor sucker loving you the heartache. If its who you're with.. go figure.. let the ex BE the ex. they'll understand someday when they have a crazy ex trying to screw with them.
When it comes to past relationships that have messed you up... once again, i know we all like to feel super special.. like our situation was more damaging than another... but in all reality.. we ALL have relationship baggage! we ALL have some sort of trust issues and cheating issues and attention issues and jealousy issues.. the right.. and ONLY thing to do.. is to leave them IN. THE. PAST! Not all guys are the same... not all girls are the same...
and if another one ends up hurting you like the last one, have you died thus far? nope. i promise you'll be ok! You owe it to every relationship you're in to give it 100%.. don't walk into it not trusting them.. don't walk into it waiting for them to break your heart or cheat on you or make you feel insecure.. cuz 3 is a HARD number.. and no one wants to compete with the crazy ghost that you've created.. no one wants to have to break through concrete thick walls to even stand a chance. If you go in white flag drawn.. yes. you might get shot... but this video game of love gives you as many lives as you need until you get it right! Don't go in guns hot.. or you'll make a lot more war than love.
When it comes to friends.. tell them to back off.. shoot the single sugarplum fairy.. they'll understand your happiness as soon as they're on the other side.. in a relationship that people are trying to destroy.
and finally... don't add the world. a relationship is meant for 2... NOT 3.. NOT 5,785,495,454. Everyone is going to have an opinion. EVERYONE is going to give you more ideas that conflict with one another about how you or your partner is doing something WRONG. People thrive on drama.. why do you think reality tv is such a hit? People like to stir the pot... keep them out of your stew! They're bound to ruin things.. or at least make things a lot harder than they need to be. make your business YOUR business..
Give the relationship your in your full attention.. give it the shot it deserves! Keep the rest of everyone out of it, and you'll figure it out. 3 is a hard number... less than 3 = love. <3
Until Later!
xoxo
-Callymon
Genius
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