..Love Sick..

Its only september and already the first colds, flues and achey sicknesses are beginning to take their toll on us all.
With each little tiny change in the transition from season to season comes a new.. fun.. disgusting little surprise.. determined to keep us bed ridden for the best season of the year.. fall!
My favorite right now? Ya.. i have pneumonia! Suuper fun. So. while i get lots of rest.. drink lots of fluids.. and take these hard drugs my lovely doctor wrote me up for trying to get over my fickle fall sickness.. i figured we should cure some sicknesses plaguing our hearts as well.

1. The common creeper.

We're gonna address both sides of this issue.. tackling the symptoms from both ends in order to exterminate these little buggers.
I believe in being nice to every human being on the planet. I love befriending anyone and everyone. Kindness is something that everyone deserves.. however. I feel like growing up a lot of us have been fed a skewed image of kindness. ..'be nice no matter what'..and 'kill them with kindness'.. have been bent into.. 'you cant say no'.. and 'avoid confrontation altogether'.
When someone approaches you... or stalks you... you don't HAVE to say yes to going out with them. If a creeper is creepin.. avoid him and don't give him reasons to think you're leading him on!
Girls... just say NO. You can say no in a nice way! But you need to make sure that your message is clear. If homie with his pants up to his eyebrows.. lovely stache.. and a knack of running into you in a premeditated fashion comes at you with full force... you going along with his skewed fantasy of you two making tragically creepy young ones is hurting BOTH of you... you may be taking one for your own team to add another brick to your heaven mansion... but you're also leading him in a direction that will soon be completely taken out of his compass.. most likely leaving him even more emotionally damaged than if you would've initially... nicely.. backed out of a situation.

I was in an english class last semester when a girl that worked at the police station told us a story of a girl that had come in the previous week.
Jane had just moved into a new college town and was determined to make friends.. she was the sweetest girl alive so she didn't exactly have a huge challenge ahead of her.
Her new neighborhood came with a new church ward, new home teachers (male visitors assigned to check up on her and give her gospel related lessons), and new room mates.
Her new home-teacher Chuck was a straight creeper. he started by showing up at her apartment unannounced.. being there when she got home.. calling her every night.
She initially gave off the vibe that she wasn't interested.. but when he continued to pursue her.. she didn't want to hurt his feelings.
One day he text her and told her that he had a surprise for her and to let him know when she was home... she coordinated with a room mate to make sure she had someone there with her.. but when she got home.. he was waiting for her, and her room mate was still in class. He insisted that they start her 'surprise' right away..
He told her he had made a scavenger hunt for her.. starting in another area of their apartment complex. She followed him to the common room.. where she found a big box with her name on it.
When she went to open the box... he. pulled. out. a TAZOR!! She blacked out for a couple seconds.. and when she came-to he was trying to HANDCUFF HER!!! uhh.. hello!!!!
She waited 3 days to go to the cops about it because she 'didn't want to make him feel bad'.

Girls... don't be this dumb. If you get the creeper vibe... avoid your own tragedy by stopping the homie in his tracks.

Boys.. the sad reality of this world is.. the difference between a straight creep.. a tool.. and a persistent fellow.. is the level of attractiveness and swag they bring to their creeping.

I'm not saying the attractive creepers aren't creepers... they just tend to get away with it more.
If y'all haven't taken my 'tool box test'.. you should. a lot of the tool-like attributes cross over to creeper status.
Vitamins for your poor souls...
Don't resend texts when a girl doesn't write back.. if you sent it... SHE GOT IT.. sending it again isn't gonna make her write back any quicker.
Don't text her and call her every. single. night. if she has shown no interest in you... you can only put forth so much effort without her reciprocating it before you get put in the creeper box. knock it off.
When you're doin your thang.. Don't leave a fb stalking trail.. where's the fun in that?

So. its hard to tell girls to stop creepin.. cuz the truth of the matter is... a girl creeper.. is just desperate. If he's not interested in you.. there's no way that he's perfect for you.
If you fall into this category.. even though there was an oil spill.. there's STILL plenty of fish in the sea.. quit creepin and move on. He's married knock it off.. - wait what? ooh right. that's just at byu.

So.. the cure? Stop leading the creepers on.. grow some guts and let them know that you're not interested.. and homies.. quit creepin. have a very honest evaluation of your flirting.. pursuing.. and pouncing tactics.. look yourself in the mirror and decide 'am i a creeper'? if you are.. nobody likes those. Knock it off.

2. Hopelessly Devoted

I've always thought of love as a tug-of-war... a little give.. a little take.. finding the balance.. picking your battles.. surrendering the upper hand.. taking control... caring more.. caring less.. back and forth back and forth back and forth..
That sometimes you are running.. and sometimes you are chasing..
That at the end of the day, everything works itself out.
I've grown up believing the fairy tale of love.. and everything that goes along with it.

I never understood the phrase 'falling in love alone'.. i just figured that if someone was dumb enough to fall without someone catching them.. that they had no idea what love was.. so therefore they weren't 'falling in love alone'.. they were just bungee jumping without a cord. retards.

In sports.. there are individual events.. like track.. and.. bowling.. but in love.. if you run with no one chasing you.. what the heck are you doing...? if you're chasing something that never has any intention of stopping.. either your legs will fall off.. or you'll die of a heart attack in the middle of the love road somewhere... alone.
If you play the love tug-of-war by yourself... you just fall on your butt.

I've always believed that everything that is supposed to work out.. will. But what if something ISN'T working out that you want to?? what do you do?
How long can you hang on to something without needing to see a shrink?

I dont' think its possible to fall out of love with someone.. how ever unfortunate this realization is. That person, however, CAN be replaced.

My cure for 'hopelessly devotedness' : Be on top of the world! I know saying 'replace that love dummy' is waaay easier said than done.. so. when in drought.. replace it with yourself! Not in the tool box conceded.. love yourself to death kind of way.. but in the actual bettering your self and soul.. true self worth kind of way.

My friend Winston had dated this girl Laci forever. It ended in a pretty bad break up.. i'm talkin.. him in the middle of the street.. on his knees.. sobbing.. screaming.. heart wrenching.. life changing.. break up.
After this break up.. they did the.. occasionally see each other.. most likely hook up.. and then go their separate ways.. him always wanting her.. her always something more than what he was.. until he finally caught the vision that if he realllllly wanted to be with her... he couldn't do the 'casually run into each other thing' until something had significantly changed.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result... and he was tired of going crazy.
After working his BUTT off for 9 months with out scratching his Laci itch that came every so often.. he started really getting places in his life.
He found himself with a deal in his hands with one of the biggest music distributing companies in the country.. (oh ya.. i forgot to tell you.. he's a rock star)
As he walked out of this meeting with tour dates.. cash to burn.. and a serious ego boost.. he decided to call Laci..
she agreed to meet up with him and go to lunch. Of course at this lunch she saw his success.. his rock hard body.. and his new found confidence and wanted him in a heart beat..
He however had found something out about himself. He didn't need someone that waited for him to be good enough to be with her.. he needed someone that loved him for being him.. in any state.
When he was on TOP of his game.. he finally realized... he didn't want her back.
Hopelessly devotedness CURED! When you are at your best you make MUCH clearer decisions than when you're struggling with your own self worth. After getting out of relationships that make you feel unwanted and like crap... you need the time to replace that love with something you love to do. It will help your independence.. it will help your confidence.. and your added boost of yourself will make you more attractive. so there. take your medicine. you will be cured.

3. Heebie Jeebie Newbie Cooties

Everyone that gets out of a relationship faces this last one. When your relationship season changes from 'taken' to 'broken' aka 'single'.. you don't like the fact that you're not comfortable with the dudes and chicks you're going out with... these Newbies aren't like your old boyfriend or girlfriend... they don't know that when they say 'legit' you vomit silently.. they don't know that when you say 'stop tickling me' you mean.. STOP EFFING TICKLING ME BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE GONADS.
The worst is when you start to actually like someone.. and you HATE IT. You give yourself the heebie jeebies because.. what the FREAK are you doing?!

Re.LAX. everything is new at one point or another.. dont put so much thought into who has the upper hand.. who says what first.. who calls who first... if you like each other.. you need to knock it off and get out of your own way! Go into it thinking.. this will most likely work out.. instead of.. this most likely WONT work out. Allow yourself to let your guard down.. get the wiggles out.. this new thing.. if you can actually give it a chance.. could very soon turn into a natural.. regular.. not-so-new thing.

Prescription..? Plenty of rest for your mind and your butterflies. Knock it off. you're fine. You have to give SOMEONE a chance.

Every sickness has a cure. Our bodies are perfect machines designed to fix and repair themselves. Our hearts are the same way... every heart ache.. uncomfortable moment.. and sniffle we run into has a remedy.. Our hearts are programed for love. Let yourself love and be loved. By yourself as well as by someone else.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away... A blog a day keeps callymon sane.

Here's to the next few days of drugs.. vicks vapor rub.. orange juice.. and cough medicine.
Cheers.
Until Later..
xoxo
-Callymon

.. Circus Performers ..

Who are you when i'm not looking?
Although this country song talks about the endearing side of someone when they're by themselves.. not worried about what the world thinks.. with quarks.. bad habits.. messy rooms.. and a bad belching problem... i want you to really ask yourself this question...
Who are you when nobody else is around? ... Who would you be letting down if they saw you do some of the things you've done and say some of the things that you've said in private? Who would be surprised? Who's heart would you break?
This question has been on my mind for a while now.. it all started when i was exposed to the double life of a couple friends of mine.

While vegging with my room mates on our couch yesterday.. i relayed what had happened..

Last week, my really good friend Jake.. (good enough that he was willing to expose his 'other side'.. or good enough that he didn't even think about it..) was on my computer while we sat on my couch watching Glee. As he continued to facebook stalk some girls.. he would give his commentary.. complete with his agenda with each of them. ... im not retarded.. i was fine with this.. but as he went back and forth from his cell phone to his fb messages.. i asked his girl situation in full.
I definitely got the dramatic story i was looking for... and it surprised me.

Jake had dated this girl Alex on and off for like 3 years. I knew of alex, obviously but had never heard the whole saga..
He loved her.. but he refused to commit to her and only her. As his convenience allowed.. he would call her.. slay her... cuddle with her.. vent to her.. fight with her.. do everything that an 'old married couple' was complete with.. just with out the strings attached. Alex loves Jake.. and jake knows it.. so he takes advantage of the 'opportunity' as he calls it. He figures that Alex doesn't mind because he knows he's filling a need in her as well. He explained with a sincerely smug look on his face that they both benefit from his screwed up arrangement of 'playing house' and then 'playing playa'.. he gets his freedom.. while she gets her moments of amazingness. He couldn't see any problems with stringing her along because he still cared about her... so why should he let go of that option? He would tell Alex that he just 'wasn't ready to settle down'.. that he 'wasn't really dating'.. he just 'needed time' and that they would 'figure it out'. Obviously this kept Alex.. who loved Jake and would do anything for jake... who also had been waiting for jake for 3 years.. in Jake's back pocket. doing just that... waiting.

THEN. he proceeded to pull up his facebook messages and go through his library of text messages from other girls. HE WAS BEING A TOTAL SKEEEEZZZ! He would write every girl on facebook that he thought was attractive and tell them the saaame thing.. that he found them extremely attractive.. he was recently out of a relationship so he 'didn't really know how to do this..' and then ask for their number. Judging on his level of attractiveness (ya he's like a 9.8... you're welcome jake).. every.single.girl. would give it to him! He could play skeez ball bingo with their responses... all somewhere along the lines of.. 'awww you're totally fine! you just need to ask! duh! ya we should TOTALLY hang out...
'would you like to make out too?' ..
'if its on the menu..'

I"m talkin like.. he would hang out with one friend... notice another friend that was cute... and hook up with both of them within a couple weeks. the dudes got GAME!
All his juggling he should join the freaking circus!!!
To every girl he looked and sounded sincere. I even got to witness a few of the hang outs.. he was smooth.. 'genuine'.. and seemed really interested in every girl he took out.. then. he would get home.. and text Alex his famous 'Goodnight babe.. hope your day was great! miss you!'

WHHHAAAAT? really?? Even jake's other friends.. his home dawgs.. whatever.. even THEY weren't aware that he was chasing more tail than a dog. he kept it very secretive.. covering his tracks.. lying through his teeth about every situation. Even trash talking Alex to his buddies on FB. Telling them how clingy she was.. and how annoying the whole situation was.. and how she ;just couldn't get over it.

On the surface.. he was this incredible.. amazing guy! But dig not much deeper.. and you find a completely different person!

At the beginning of the story.. i told you i was telling my room mates this.. While i completed this story with my over zealous facial expressions and dramatic pauses.. gasps.. and dun dun duns... they took it all in.. and then concluded that i had simply gone where very few girls had gone before...... i had a look at the inner mind of a guy... DUN DUN DUUUUNNN..
They made an overall decision that all guys were like this... just nobody knows about it! That if every girl had access to every guy's texts and facebooks and thoughts, that they would all see the inner snake in their knight in shining armor.

Clearly my whole house has trust issues. I'm working on my hating-man-syndrome.. and im gonna go ahead and say that no.. i dont REALLY believe that all guys are like this.. at least i hope they're not! but i'm gonna put it on 'human being' in general.

What secrets would you be ashamed of? Who are you cynically leading on for your own personal convenience? Who are you lying to because you think you'll never get caught?

It's what you do when nobody is around that makes up who you are.. NOT how good of an actor you can be. NOT what you can get away with!

I have a friend named Jamie that dated a guy named Rich for 2 1/2 years.. They were more in love than anyone i had ever seen. On the surface it was the perfect relationship...
After Rich completely out of the blue broke Jamie's heart with no apparent reason.. the creme started rising to the top.
Rich's friends.. and other girls started coming to Jamie to apologize.. assuming that she already knew... Rich had been cheating on Jamie their ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP!! wtfreak?!?
Jamie wasn't completely deaf dumb and blind.. she had heard the rumors go around... she had caught wind of what was going on several times... But every time she brought it up to Rich.. he would make her feel guilty for even thinking it for one second! He would turn the situation on her.. tell her she was making him feel bad because he could never ever do that to her and she should know that!
uuuh.... Rich? YOU SUCK. and you are straight retarded.. even some of Jamie's supposed 'good friends through association' were in on the big scheme. Before Rich had broken up with her.. they felt a certain amount of loyalty and 'guy code' or whatevvvver. But then they broke up and uuh obviously crap hit the fan.

Really? homie.. 2 years?!!! wtfreak!

Honestly... who are you when its JUST you?? Who are you pretending to be??
What are you saying.. doing.. and acting like JUST to get ahead in life? When does the ACTUAL you come out? We are taught to believe in innocent until proven guilty.. yet we live in a world that if we don't consider 'guilty until proven innocent'.. then we're naive.

What friends do you throw under the bus to be the 'expert' on someone? What lies do you prance around telling people and potential relationship-ees just to make sure you can keep them on the line?

You need to remember that you are building your own mansion.. nobody else's. That every good and honest deed you do.. every genuine act.. every time of adversity that you are able to overcome.. every gossip session you avoid.. is a brick. Nobody else will benefit or suffer from your lack of or abundance of property. Your character mansion is under construction.. being built every single day.. it is the honest core of who you are.. and you are ruining it by being anything less than REAL.
If you believe that everything happens for a reason then REASON with yourself.. cuz by living or telling lies you are making the wrong dang things happen.. and you're screwing with other people's lives as well as your own. You are making the entire 'everything happens for a reason' concept invalid because you're manipulating the world around you in a negative way.

In my favorite movie..'EVER AFTER'.. the roll of the evil step sister Margarite tries to play the prince like she's an innocent lovely lady. She keeps her act up every time she's in front of the prince so he knows no different... however.. like regular life..... the creme rises to the top and her bratty retardedness is revealed in the end when he falls in love with her sister.. the cinderella figure, Danielle.

Alright one final story. sorry.
So. my friend Aubry just met this boy John... she pretttty much fell in love with him on the spot. She had a class with him and realized at the end of the 3 hour block that he was exactly her type! HOWEVER... John had sort of dated one of our other friends Carrie.. or had almost sort of dated her?? Carrie and John would make out a couple times a week.. and had been hanging out.. 'progressing'.. or so she thought.. for that month they were doin their thing..
UUh.. come to find out.. john had had an almost girlfriend.. the whole time. so. sketchy points went up..
In PERSON john seemed to be the greatest.. most spiritual.. all his crap together kind of guy! But according to his past.. or at least the stories about his past.. he was a total sketch ball!!
So what the freak is Aubry supposed to do???!

You may be the best actor in the world.. but sooner or later.. your true colors will be revealed. When they are.. be a pretty picture. Not an ugly smelly one thats hidden under perfumes and illusions for as long as you could stand it.

Work to be the same person when no one is looking that you are when you're under the spot light and microscope. If its hard for you... realize you're hurting people.. most of all yourself..and CHANGE. Fake is never a word used in a positive sense. Be real. Be you. and let everything happen for the RIGHT reasons. Don't be a circus performer.. don't HAVE to worry about juggling the people and relationships in your life. Be you.. in real life.

Until Later! xoxo
-Callymon

..How do you know..

It takes a lot to be exceptional at anything in life. Hard work, practice, perseverance, talent, they all important in the creation of excellence. To get to the top of the top.. and more importantly STAY at the top of the top, you need one extra ingredient. A gem rarer than diamonds, but just as recognizable.
If being extraordinary was easy... everyone would do it. if being famous only had to do with how bad you wanted it.. anyone could be.
There are lots of excellent basketball players that practice their guts out..but only a few that fill NBA slots.. fewer that make it on to winning teams.. and even fewer that get on teams that they want to be on. 1 out of every 20,000 college basketball players ever see the NBA court.
There are tons of singers that have incredible voices and extraordinary talent.. but only a handful that make it onto the charts.. fewer that stay there.. and even fewer that you could call actual 'stars'.
What then separates the excellent from the ridiculously incredible? What gets them through the door.. on the stage.. and under the spotlight?
What makes someone a CEO vs. a minimum wage employee?
There are only so many things in life that someone can control - and then there are instincts... Gut feelings...things people are born with.. things that no one could explain.
The term that's used in the entertainment industry is the 'IT' factor. Nobody can explain what exactly is included in 'IT'.. or how someone gets 'IT'.. but you can definitely tell when they have it - and when they don't. There are no exercises that someone can practice to better their 'IT' quality. No drugs someone can take or amount of money someone can pay to be actual 'star material'.. they either have 'IT' or they don’t. No questions. Yes, you can be successful without 'it'.. hard work obviously gets you places.. but 'it' is what separates the top.. from the royalty. The difference between a pop-star and Michael Jackson... a basketball player and Michael Jordan.. They have something special.. they have 'IT'.
As hard as 'IT' is to define.. It's just as easy to recognize. You just know.

Like the 'IT' factor in the entertainment industry.. 'true love'... or 'hubby'... would be used to explain the 'it' factor of love and romance. You just know.
As much as it would rock to be able to come up with a mathematical formula for love.. something you could practice to make perfect.. a statistic that would render true to every circumstance, love isn't something calculated at all. It rarely makes sense.. yet it makes perfect sense when its perfect. In the same way that there are no two exact human beings in existence.. the same is that with love. There are no two romances or love stories exactly alike.
Some people would use the word 'chemistry'.. but seeing as two people's chemistry is often times defined by how much they want to slay each other.. we're gonna need to use a different word.. something foreign to the world of 'chemistry' and all other sciences... our 'it' love factor of 'magic'.

If you're anything like me, you've sat down with married couples- parents, siblings, friends, everyone that's won the retarded game of love, hung their hat up, and are finally allowed to be happy - and asked them.. how they met their spouse.. and how they 'knew'. What made them decide to be with this person forever?
To this question.. 3/4 of them probably answered 'WHEN YOU KNOW.. YOU KNOW!'. At this answer, we all rolled over and barfed.. or wanted to punch them in the face for not giving us the answers to life's most important test.

If it was that easy... you just KNOW.. then wouldn't more of us just.. know?
Living in Provo, Utah... people are droppin like flies. its like the ship is goin down!! and everyone is determined to get hitched asap so they don't die alone when the band starts playing 'my heart will go on'.

In society there are rules of engagement on the road to engagement.. but when it comes down to it.. its the uniqueness of your romance that makes it yours. SO.
How many dates do you have to go on before you feel like you 'gave it a fair shot'?

I heard a man tell his 'story' in church on sunday of how on his first date with his wife they knew they were getting married.. couldn't it be the same on the other end as well? Knowing your first date that it was NOT gonna work out with the awkward human being in front of you eating his napkin.
My friend Jordan and his wife knew the second week they started dating (and i mean like.. they met.. and 2 weeks later..) that they were getting married. 3 months later.. engaged. 4 months later... married.
and then i have a friend - Britney.. that weeds through guys at such a rapid rate.. its like she's grocery shopping.. picking a peanut butter brand.. no. no. too chunky..no. maybe. no. not smooth enough.. no. no.

People are so concerned and caught up with 'knowing' that they're afraid of actually knowing... or even afraid to give what they know COULD work a chance. They're so thrown off that they KNOW too quickly.. or NO too quickly.. or not fast enough.. that they're caught in their own revolving door of trying to do the whole 'love thing' the right way.
Why do we have to 'know'... can't we just KNOW?!!

Is it better to be the person that can tell after 1 date whether something is going to work or not... or be the person who's dated someone for 5 years and still questions whether they 'know'?

Can we adopt our married friends' mentality of 'when you know you know'.. and reverse that to.. 'when you know it's no.. you know..' ..?


Many relationships have one person that will 'know'.. and the other one will 'no'. Who then is wrong? Who is right? The power lies with whoever cares less.. so because the situation caters to their agenda more.. does that make them in the right?

I have a friend that within the first hour of meeting a guy.. she knows whether or not she could marry them. Kate, this friend, will go down her check list with in the first 5 minutes...
- attractive..
- straight teeth..
- mentally competent..
and then give him a chance to wow her. If the connection is made.. he gets a second date. (or first) if the connection is not made.. she moves on.

Many people would call kate 'shallow' and say that she doesn't give guys a fair shot... that she'll most likely die alone because she writes people off too quickly.
No. i believe Kate is working in a factory of love. when something doesn't turn out right.. she doesn’t try to sell it.. she gets rid of it. She doesn't try to force a connection between her and the flavor of the week... she accepts the fact that there is either 'magic'.. or its a strictly muggle relationship.

Some people have the rule that 'everyone deserves at least one date'... as much as i think you need to get to know people.. i think this rule is poppycock. If you know for a fact that you are not interested in this human being... why lead them on for even one date? no. you 'no'.

On the other hand.. you hear about people that write people off completely... ending with closure and all... and then they end up marrying them...? Love is confusing.. and complicated. - even more so when you try and 'figure it out'.

In many cases... the chick in the relationship will 'know' before the guy..
this is cuz guys are slow and they have no clue what they want. They usually, however, come around eventually..
for example:
My friend Rachel started hanging out and dating this boy Brantly.. He was a stud.. and she was into him. It started out suuuper casual.. they were very unofficial and didn't even tell each other that they liked each other.
The longer they hung out.. the more apparent it became that it was going somewhere. Rachel - being a girl.. was afraid to bring up the DTR (define the relationship). And Brantly.. being a dude.. was scared to DEATH of the DTR.. so naturally... they avoided it at all costs. They knew things were right... they knew they were in love.. but.. things had happened too fast to be going by the rule book.. so. of course.. they stayed on the path most traveled.. and tried to slow things down.
The longer they went without reassuring their affection for each other.. the more insecure the both of them became. FINALLY.. cuz rachel is a BA.. she got fed up with the games of 'so.. my friend tried to set me up with this chick.. would you be mad if i went..?'.. 'i got asked out again... i said no.. but would you be mad if i had said yes..?'.... so she went into her frank conversation bag and pulled out the DTR within.
She told Brantly that she liked him.. she wanted to be with him.. but if they were going to continue on this retarded road of dance around each other and be retarded about their feelings then she was gonna need to move on.
Brantly.. content with the fact that he had gained the upper hand.. let her sweat it out.. cuz he's a douche. He told her he was still unsure if he wanted to have a serious girlfriend.. but he for sure still wanted to keep dating her.. so he would let her know.
At this.. Rachel had already decided that it COULD work out with Brantly.. if he wasn't such a douche.. but it didn't have to.. clearly.
Rachel 'knew'.. and Brantly didn’t. so.. naturally she started pulling away and dating other people... she started pulling the 'fade out'.. when all the sudden... dun dun dun..ok wait. not all the SUDDEN.. like.. 2 months later..? Brantly pulled his head out of his bum and realized that... DUH. he was being a friggin retard.
As soon as he realized that he was losing/had lost the best thing that had ever happened to him.. he forgot about his provo all-star upper hand.. and gave into the fact that hey... relationships and love isn't for the bees.. and even though things had happened fast in his book with rachel... if it was right... he should let it be right!
He went back to Rachel... apologized for taking so long. and finally got into the relationship he SHOULD'VE been in all along.
2 months later... they were engaged. and so the story continues of people abandoning ship hand in hand.


Last.. but certainly not least.. is the story of my friend Beth.
Beth and Charlie.. had dated in high school.. they had dated in jr. high.. and now.. they were filling each other's grown up dating cards.
Because they had so much history.. they fell into comfortable patterns easily. They loved each other.. they knew that. But all the sudden.. they were in search of something more.
being 24 and 25.. they knew they were at the age where they should be looking for someone to marry.. and up until this burden had been put on their shoulders.. they had very much liked the idea of spending forever together.. it was magical.. it was easy.. it was love.
The more time they spent with each other...the more and more people would pull out the ol dating rule book and tell them how their story should be progressing. that 'after this amount of time... shouldn't you be engaged... after this amount of time.. shouldn't you know this.. and this.. and blah blah blah..?'
Because A. this scared the living day lights out of both of them.. and B. they both weren't ready to get married..and both unwilling to recognize that.. they decided mutually that it must just not be 'right' with them.
That by NOW.. they should 'know'.. and if they didn't feel ready to make that jump... they must 'no'.
So. they broke up. They went separate ways.. deTERMINED that they WERE in the mind set of marriage.. and it was only a matter of finding the right person!
They both started dating other people... Beth jumped into a relationship with a fantastic guy named Seth.. and Charlie jumped every female he could find..
Both were unhappy.. but both kept trucking along.
After a couple months of distance... history brought them back together. 2 days after Beth had dumped mr. fantastic.. and Charlie had made his 29th booty call of the week.. they both went to a BBQ of an old high school friend.
Just being together got to both of them.. and they decided that even though they 'knew' it wasn't right.. they could still hang out as friends.
Every time they hung out.. the comfortability... the easiness... the 40 year old married couple routine and bickering and everything.. it would all come back. Everything about them together was perfect.. but because they had decided that they had 'no-wn' they ignored the perfection.. and even talked about if they could only find what they had in other people.. their lives would be complete.
SO.. because they were complete idiots.. they continued to ignore the silver platter romance they had in front of them... and continued looking for beth and charlie replacements.
They had written each other off... it wasn't 'right'... they 'knew'.. they had closure to the matter... until... dun dun dun...
At the death of Beth's great-grandma.. Beth went straight to charlie for a good strong.. comfortable.. shoulder to cry on. After a few hours and cycles of talking.. crying.. and settling down.. Beth went to leave Charlie's house.. as she hugged him goodbye... he turned to her and said.. 'k.. well. i love you.' and then stopped. realized he meant it with every fiber of his being... and said it again. 'i love you beth.'.. she froze. realized she loved him back.. the way she had always wanted to.. or always had but recently had been ignoring.. and said it back.. 'i love you too charlie.'...
insert most firework inducing.. movie star epic.. best most incredible kiss ever. BAM.
They never spent a day apart after that.
2 months later.. to their parents delight.. they were engaged.. 4 months after that.. they were married... and now.. a year later.. THEY'RE HAVIN A BABY!!
The second they realized that they KNEW before they ever had to 'know'.. they let all the rules in the dumb books.. and people telling them how their romance should be playing out.. go. As soon as they let go of the fact that they knew.. they didn't need to 'know'. they didn't need to worry about how fast or slow or unorthodox their romance had been.. even though to the outside world it was a perfect fairy tale... they just needed to have a serious wake up call.


True love is like magic.. not like science.. Every story is different. And to everyone jumping ship... this is a scary concept. Nobody is there to tell you what rules to follow.. and how to formulate perfect love. There are no ways to create the 'it' factor.. you have it or you don't. Don't be so concerned with 'knowing' and 'no-ing' that you fail to recognize greatness in front of you. Go with your gut.. recognize right-ness.. and wrong-ness.. recognize the 'it factor' that's so unique.. and irreplaceable in your life.
Stop and take a second to breathe. The ship isn't going down!
Now. Realize that you DO have something to lose. Brantly with rachel... charlie and beth with each other..
If you have... or are losing.. something great... grab a life jacket.. and JUMP. Whether your jump is marriage.. finally having that DTR.. or dropping the L bomb...
There's questioning.. there's uncertainty.. and there's insanity and just being stupid.. Don't worry so much about 'knowing' and just KNOW.

Cuz when you know you know.. right?

Until later..
xoxo
-Callymon