..Lessons Learned..

The other day i sat and tried to imagine the rest of my life..
I'm at an age where i'm supposed to be able to do this to some extent... Where i take all the advice i've acquired in my life.. filter it.. and apply it the way i feel will be most beneficial to my future.

When reminiscing the last 20 years.. certain memories stand out more than others..

Sometimes i think my mind is demented... I remember the oddest things about my past..
extremely specific experiences.. extremely specific words that were said.. that made me feel a very specific way. Why i remember SOME and not others i have no idea.. But for some reason.. these things have stuck with me and changed me in some ways forever...
How can i use these random teaching moments now.. in this confusing time in my life that feels like i'm stuck in a revolving door.. while i attempt to figure out the NEXT 20 years..? Well you know me.. i'm about to tell you!

These memories are completely random.. the people that said what they said probably had no IDEA i'd remember it past that very moment.. but each one planted a seed that grew into either a monster or a mountain in my life. (i know what you're thinking.. where can i get me some mountain seeds... check smiths market place.. or walmart.. they have everything there)

When i was like..8..? i was at church in my sunday school class. wait wait wait... let me give you a visual of how i was when i was 8... i thought i was friggin awesome. ... ok that's all you need to know..
i was sitting there and it came time to pray.. the little boy named Sam in my class.. bless his heart.. stood up to pray.
He blessed each one of us individually.. blessed the black board.. blessed the chairs.. blessed the grass.. blessed the trees... and then he blessed the food.
hm... food...? food.... dang that sunday school class must've been awesome if it had food!! ....no. we didn't have any food.
When the prayer was over.. i looked at him in all my sassy-ness and said... "bless the food?"
WHACK. the teacher looked at me... and all he said was.. "McCall.... do we make fun of people when they pray..?"
i literally have never been the same! I'm so sorry sam! you can bless the dang food if you want to! I was in the wrong. i hope your now 22 year old self.. where ever you are.. can see past me putting you down when we were 7.
Lesson: Never put others down to make someone laugh.. draw attention to yourself.. or make YOU feel better about yourself. bless the dang food if you want to bless the dang food. you'll eat it eventually!

This statement.. was sooooo simple. he didn't even SCOLD me.. he just gave me "the look".
If you've ever been a teenager.. you know EXACTLY what look i'm talking about..
the disappointed.. 'you know better' look that could melt a steel house!
Another lesson i learned from my 8 year old moment of shame was.. don't do things for others.. do things for yourself! Don't look to others for approval.. don't validate yourself in the opinion of another.. you will never be happy if you do!
Dress the way YOU want to dress.. talk the way YOU want to talk.. treat others the way YOU want to treat them.. DON'T just go with the crowd!
.. some people think that gossiping and putting others down is a thing of the past... that it's 'Soooo highschool' but the reality of it.. is that it goes on forever and ever.. mama drama.. grandma drama.. you'll never escape it if you feed into it. and nobody likes being the subject of ridicule even if it's in a joking matter.. Learn from MY mistake...
Don't make fun of people when they pray.

Another epic life-changing moment.. was in the first grade.
my mom was in charge of the school's upcoming event.. it was a 'Sock-Hop' where everyone dressed up in poodle skirts and Greese t-shirts and came and rocked out to 'rockin around the clock' and 'Greese Lightning' all night long..
in the middle of one of mama kel's finer moments of jumping around and singing while building the set.. she stepped on a board that should NOT have been where it was....
2 nails went all the way through her foot.. leaving her on crutches for the week.
When she came to see me in my first grade class room... i had a complete panic attack when she walked away.. i couldn't BREATHE.. and i started to cry..
now ok.. i know all yall are thinkin.. first grader.. crying... that's not weird at all you freak... but i was the girl that NEVER cried.. i was just as tough as the nails that went through mama kel's foot.. THIS. WAS. RARE!
As i sat there in my 2 foot high desk.. trying to hide this scene from the rest of the class.. the boy that i was in LOVE with came up to me and said 3 words... "are you ok?"
not the- i'm a first grade little punk and i'm trying to draw attention to you and make sure your head isn't gonna explode - kind of are you ok.....
but he said it like he genuinely cared about if i was ok or not..
in this moment.. i fell in love with him.. with boys..
i fell in love with love.
I played 'boys chase girls' (ya we were realll creative with our names) at recess.. shoe football.. and would call boys with my best friend hannah.. tell them we thought they were cute.. and hang up.
This love of boys.. and love in general... has only grown ever since.
yup. folks.. i started young..
Lesson: McCall is boy crazy. and has been since the first grade... alright.. this is more of a fact..
Lesson: never hesitate to tell those you care about how you feel about them.
In 'My best friend's wedding' when michael and Julia are talking on the boat on the epic day together.. he tells her.. that when you love someone.. and you feel the urge to say it.. never EVER let that moment get away from you! cuz you can never get it back! If you feel it.. SAY IT!
express gratitude.. express love.. and express compassion in ever way you can. Since this day in the first grade... every friend.. every family member.. every person that i love.. i make sure they know that i love them.
Everyone likes to be loved. common now. Make someone's day.. make someone's life.. go grab your mommy and tell her that you love her.

When i was in 5th grade i remember i hated my teacher.. i have no idea why!.. there was absolutely NOTHING wrong with her.. but i wanted to be in a different class!!
i remember 2 things about 5th grade...
1... that i was sitting in my social studies class in a different classroom (the class i actually WANTED to be in..) and the teacher started going off on how it would be if the world was perfect....
"in a perfect world.. THIS whiteboard marker would work... THESE desks would be straight... THAT paper wouldn't be on the floor..." "AND I WOULD BE IN YOUR CLASS" I yelled back.
.. told you i was a punk.
the second thing i remember is at the end of the year.. this teacher that i could find nothing RIGHT with that i had... copied off these cartoon books for tracing for all the girls in my class..
they were heavy duty! and i know it took her a long time!
for the first time.. i appreciated what she was doing for us.. and i was able to recognize that she was doing her bloody best and i needed to give her a break!!
i vowed after that day to never judge someone.. and to actually get to know people as much as i could.

In the 7th grade i got my first official boyfriend. He was a friggin stud for a 7th grader!
After 3 weeks of being his girlfriend.. it was his birthday. so.. being the adorable little 7th grade girlfriend that i was.. i decorated his locker.. filling it with cookies.. candy.. streamers.. confetti.. all that good stuff.
I found that i LIKED doing things for my boyfriends. I had a blast!
well.... like 2 weeks after his birthday.. my parents told me that duuh i wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend.. so.. i broke up with him.. but i still liked him a lot!
My best friend at the time apparently liked him a lot too......
literally the next class period after i broke up with him.. she moved in like a vulture!
she told him that just because I couldn't have a boyfriend didn't mean HE shouldn't have a girlfriend... psh.. ho.
This day is the day i learned that girls will ALWAYS put a guy before another girl if they think they have a chance to succeed with him.

Then 8th grade i got a boyfriend that was a LOT older than me...
yes i thought it was pimpin.. woot woot.
after like 2 months of that.. i decided that it was time for us to break up.. over text messaging.. BAD call on my part..
i was a heartless.. careless being.. i'm sorry 8th grade boyfriend for denying the 45 times you called me.. i'm sorry that i thought text was a valid way to break your little heart. i was a tool.

I've fallen in love with a wide variety of fellas throughout the years. Covering the spectrome of personalities... styles.. heights.. "groups".. hair length.. its been quite the adventure..

All of these little L loves have taught me different things about preferences.. tolerance.. expectations.. and mostly things about myself that i never knew..
All of them have been preparing me to fall in BIG L love.. the kind that really counts..

With all of their differences.. the roster has got me thinking...
what kind of a guy is really right for me?
I've dated tools... anti-tools.. outspoken guys.. shy dudes.. and i've had good and bad experiences with all of the above!

When i filmed HSM2.. i was dating a boy that was very similar to me. we were both outgoing.. loud.. fun.. whatever.
When kenny ortega saw that i was born as the biggest flirt on the planet.. he decided he needed to give me relationship advice..
he told me that i would end up with someone completely different than me.. that i needed someone quiet.. and more behind the scenes... That anyone that was like me would try to dim my light and it would be a constant battle of who would come out on top..

So.. do opposites attract? or do similar people have less of a gap to fill with dumb stuff?

my theory?
It's all about complimenting each other...
The reason people say that opposites attract.. the reason kenny told me to find someone completely different than me is.. when one person is a lover.. and one is a fighter.. the arguments will always be one sided.. and most likely.. reeeaaalll short.

If you have someone that is outgoing.. and someone that's shy... or someone that talks alot.. and someone that rarely says jack.. there will never be a contest of who carries conversations.. and the convos will.. again.. be one sided...

I'm sure finding my opposite in life would make relationships easier.. but is easier better?
i say NO.
i want someone who is JUST as much the life of the party as i am!
someone who can carry a conversation with me when i feel like not talking!
who can fire ME up.. when my fire dims!
i want to be a Brad Pitt.. Angelina Jolie.. couple. 2 powerhouses that combine to form this amazing atomic force that nothing can stop!

It doesn't mean you shouldn't look for the things you lack in someone else..
you just need to find someone that compliments your personality and lifestyle..
someone that calms you.. someone that understands you.. and someone that will stay by you no matter what! Someone that loves you for being YOU.. and wouldn't change ONE thing about you..
someone that makes you want to be better!

Depending on where you are in your life.. you have to understand that there's a difference between a person and their performance...
sometimes you have to give people a break when they're screwing up..

Like in 'A walk to remember'.. Jamie sullivan is a saint... Landon is NOT.
however.. Jamie had faith that Landon could be so much more than he was acting like..
On the surface.. they WERE opposites... but when they got to know each other and understood each other... they found that they complimented each other perfectly!
Who Landon was as a person and what he was doing as a performance were 2 different things. Jamie separated them and found her prince charming under all his crap..
I want someone extraordinary.. that makes me want to be extraordinary too..

While forming a future.. and paving a path.. all of these lessons will definitely be taken into consideration.. and hopefully make me a better future McCall..
These dumb.. seemingly insignificant things.. have helped mold me today..and will help mold me into tomorrow...
ok.. final lesson...
you see how little these instances are...
not one of them is some catastrophic event that shook my world and altered my universe..
but for some reason, they've stuck with me..
All of us have these times... we need to be careful about the influence we have on others..
we never know when someone is going to remember that ONE thing that you said to them.. that ONE time..
live by example.. show up on the POSITIVE check list in people's lives.. not the negative!
Help make those around you better! We're all trying to make it to the future alive and better than we were in our past... together.. we can accomplish it!

Until Tomorrow!
xoxo
-Callymon