.. Diamonds and Rubies ..

What is 'Value'? How is it determined?
Why and how can one thing have value over another?
What is of value to you?

In my persuasive writing class this morning we were assigned a project for the weekend. We had to analyze the meaning and principle of 'Value'.. find something of 'Value' to us, by our definition.. and then give it to someone else. One tricky thing is that our 'something of value' couldn't be our time.

Because i like to do things backwards, to determine my personal definition of 'Value', i looked at what i consider 'Valuable' in my life:
- My family
- My relationship with God
- My testimony
- My friends
- My relationships with others
- Music
These are the first things that came to mind. None of these things are tangible in a sense that they aren't something i can physically give away. (though.. in times of clothing wars.. its crossed my mind giving a sibling away) But what about these things makes them 'valuable'? What do i gain from each of these things and relationships that i can put in my 'value' piggy-bank?
I can't live without any of these things... Giving them each a personal purpose in my life...
I take joy in strengthening and bettering each of them.. giving myself purpose within each of them.

Someone in the world of words said the value of something is determined by what you're willing to give up to get it.
In order to get and keep the things listed above, I would sacrifice literally anything. They make up who i am as a person.. they determine my own personal value and worth.

Being the stubborn person that i am, there are plenty of times i value my pride, individuality, and independence. These things, among others, that i unrighteously value are things i definitely should give away at the expense of another, however its much easier said than done.
The 'value' of these things, if determined by the definition above, is greater than i care to admit, for i've been willing to give up and sacrifice even my own happiness in order to keep them intact. I've given up opportunities to grow individually as well as with another because of selfish pride and fear. I've even defined my own strength in these things of unrighteousness, putting on a 'tough girl' facade, giving up deeper levels of friendship and love in order to keep up the act. Giving up big parts of my life, personality, and spiritual, mental, and emotional growth, has put the price on silly, detrimental things, greater than it ever should be. I've put the label of 'value' where it wasn't deserved and suffered the consequences because of it.

Being in the stage of life where big decisions are made concerning my future, my list of valuables has begun to not only emerge, but prioritize itself.

I see the options of my life laid out in front of me scholastically, musically, in a family aspect, and possible career fields. All of these needs and options in my life, that i feel if individually tended to would take me very different places geographically, emotionally, and on different paths completely, need to fit together somehow to form an eternal plan. This will require, again, for me to prioritize them based on their value to me and my progression as a person.
My music represents everything that i've worked for and everything i love. Music offers many people many different things, and figuring out what areas of the music industry and simply the music inside of me are valuable in my life has been quite the challenge. I feel like the need for me to give this music away and share it with others is beyond my selfish desires. I feel like this is a key part of my eternal plan. However, the level in which i wish my singing career to reach may require the sacrifice of things too valuable to let go.

The places geographically, mentally, and that the music industry drives you to, could slowly make the most important part of my plan fall in my list of priorities.

Giving this part of me away to others in an attempt to better their lives would prove this area of my life valuable to myself as well as those around me.
Service is transforming for both the giver and the receiver, and songwriting and singing are the greatest form of service, and the biggest part of me that i have to give.
Something of infinite value to me that i’ve never even considered giving to another, is a piece of myself. With every song i write, i include a piece of my mind, heart, soul, and 20 years of preparation and hard work. Up until now, i’ve taken every song that i’ve written and selfishly hoarded them hoping one would strike gold. To help illustrate the value of each song, the explanation is thus: No songwriter knows which of their songs will hit the public in a way that they’ll receive it how they intended. The best of their songs, if they’re an aspiring artist, they definitely keep for themselves, hoping that their best will in turn go across the board as the best and make them lots and lots of money.For any songwriter to give up what they believe to be their shot at this number one hit song status, as well as the loads of money that come with the territory, is pure ludicrous in the eyes of the nashville songwriting scene. Each song could be that singer/songwriters chance to ‘make it’ in the tough world of music. Each song represents the desire i was born with to make a career out of my singing and songwriting. They each represent my journey of sacrificing social time and standing through out junior high and high school in order to practice my brains out and travel most weekends to push my difficult dreams. They are the result of the work and time that i’ve put in for the last 17 years, perfecting my craft in order to someday go out into the world and make a difference.
When analyzing the value of this part of my life, i knew that this would be one of the things i would have to - not so willingly - give another.

So - long story short so that i can cut to the part of the blog that people actually read this for - the relationship stuff.. for my class project, i picked to give away a song that i had written to another artist. The song i chose was the one i felt was one of the best ones i've written so far which definitely left a sting for someone else to record it..
GLAD THAT'S OVER.

So.. what do you value in yourself? what expectations have you set for yourself to achieve? Who and what areas of your life would you sacrifice everything for?

I know i've touched on the idea of opposites attracting... in that i've said that the idea is bogus. opposites don't attract. 10's attract 10's.. likes attract likes... however..
I brought up the principle of compatibility.. finding your weaknesses becoming strengths through another.. this is important. remember this.

So what do you value in yourself? What do you feel like you succeed at exceptionally?
It's pretty safe to say that any human being alive would sacrifice anything to have a functional commitment relationship. That anyone would do or give up anything to have true success in their love life.
alright.. now look at your list. you know EXACTLY the list im talking about.. the one of things you're looking for.. that comes out on 1st dates that you can check check check off and if someone doesn't make it... NEXT!!

Let's go through mine.. if you're human.. yours probably is similar. (ajust accordingly.. obviously.)
- Loves his mom
- Spiritual
- Attractive
- Successful
- Driven
- Smart
- Sexay.. duuh
- hilarious
- kind
- confident
- great teeth
- brings out the best in me
- makes me want to be a better person
- a complete and total BA
- and obviously a baller.. and a G.

mmk. i'll stop before i hit the SUPER specific things and yall think im shallow.

Now look at the list of things you value in yourself. If anything.. even one thing.. that you have on your list of the perfect person of the opposite sex.. is something you don't feel is a strength of yours... PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR TUSHHY.
How is it that we can be so hypocritical and REQUIRE the person that's SO lucky to deserve our attention to be next to perfect if we ourselves aren't doing absolutely everything in our power to meet the same expectation?!
It goes the other way as well... i just made a list of things that are valuable to me... that i feel bring value to the name McCall. (family.. relationships.. God.. ect... no dummies i'm not talking about the attractive.. hilarious.. list). How DARE we NOT hold the people we associate ourselves with and ESPECIALLY date to the same list..? We need to align our values with our lifestyles. Each of these lists are completely individualized.. so each person will require different needs.. they have different priorities.. and different things that they consider 'valuable'.. but once we address what they are.. we have a right and an opportunity to stick to them!
Things are priced by what someone is willing to pay for them.. The level and importance of our own values are set by what we're willing to sift through to find.

Are we kidding ourselves by holding others to unrealistic expectations in weight.. height.. hair-color maintenance .. hygiene.. when we ourselves wouldn't make our own cut?
Are we settling for less than we want when it comes to important things?
well.. STOP. DONT. it's as simple as that.

Don't sacrifice your own happiness because you think you can't get any better..
i was talking a family friend Stacy last night about the process she went through before she married her husband.
now.. you have to understand.. Stacy? is a straight up G. She was proposed to like 11 times before she was 20.
She explained her thought process very simply...that when she met her husband she honestly thought.. this is the highest i can go on the ladder.. this is the best man i could ever possibly hope to marry. So she stopped dating and tied the knot.
This may be a broad statement.. or even too simple of one that all yall are like uhh.. alright.
but think about it. before that she always felt like there was something better out there. when she reached her top step of the ladder.. she stopped and made it happen.
Don't sacrifice your own happiness because you don't think you can do better than second rate.
you deserve the best! and when the best comes along.. you stop! and make the magic happen!
If you feel lucky to be with someone.. and they make you want to be better... and push yourself beyond your own limits to keep up with them.. uhh.. hey. ya. thats a good thing.
If you feel like someone else is lucky to be with you... dummy. dump them. you wont benefit from a relationship that you relate to giving service or a charity case.

Take a vow of honesty.. and then look at yourself.
would YOU date you?
if the answer is no then chances are.. your prince charming? doesn't want to either. fix it! you have the ability to.
Whoever said 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks'.. never met my 14 year old maltese Porsha. she's a trooper.
Anyone and everyone has the ability to change.. it only takes as long as saying 'i will change' and believing it.. and then doing it.

Decide what is of value in your life.. what your own treasure chest of diamonds and rubies consist of..
Become you're own 10.. stick to these values.. and you will be able to more clearly align them with another. Cuz if you dont know who the heck you are.. how is someone else supposed to find you?!

Until laterrrr
xoxo
-Callymon