. . Raiders of the Lost Art . .

Today in english we studied Rhetoric.. the art of persuasion.
Aristotle said that rhetoric is a dangerous tool that we can't teach to just anyone! Think if it landed in the hands of a powerful and EVIL person.. um.. ya. its happened. Hitler.. is a great example of this.
Give someone the art of persuasion.. the ability to manipulate the human mind and action.. that has a detrimental agenda..? you're screwed.
Rhetoric.. and Swag are the same in this way..
Give a man the ability to manipulate the minds and hearts of women with a destructive.. tool-like agenda.. and we're all SCREWED.

Swag, like rhetoric, is easily mastered by those that take the time to perfect it.
However, being intelligent and being rhetorically savvy are very different. Having the information and tools necessary to have swag.. and ACTUALLY having swag are extremely different.

I'm convinced that i would've been an excellent dude.
i rock at BS.. and therefore would succeed in BS-ing chicks to think what i want them to.
Being able to BS rhetorically can almost always serve you more than being an intellectual master. Look at the difference in articulation of President Bush and President Obama...
President Bush could’ve been the smartest guy in the world, but because he couldn’t articulate his thoughts and he didn’t use his rhetorical ability (if he had any) in ANY way.. he looked like a complete moron half the time - ok MOST of the time.
It didn’t matter what action he was taking for our country... i didn’t matter WHAT he did.. good or bad.. if he had to give a public address about it.. he was in trooouuublleee because he was bound to look like a retard.
President Obama won over the minds and hearts of many of the American people during the election because of his articulation and charisma.
I’m not saying my political views..agenda.. or even who or what i support politically.. but look at their articulation alone.. and you see my point.

If you have the right tools.. the right formula.. and even the right words and actions served to you on a silver platter... how then can you still fail? How can the same talk given by 2 different people end up so different.. when they use the same exact words? How can 2 boys that do the EXACT same thing end up with different results?

Bottom line... it’s not just what you say.. its how you say it. it’s not just what you do.. its how and when you do it..
It’s alllll in the delivery my friends...

Swag isn't rocket science. But there is definitely a formula to it.. a set of practices that need to be carefully considered and studied in order to achieve the level of Swag that is necessary to succeed.

Attractiveness.. although a big part of swag.. is ultimately trumped by swag.
Swag takes precedence over all other qualities when it comes to attraction: physical, psychological, emotional, allll of the above.

Basically.. to put it in fortune cookie terms..

'Have swag.. will succeed'

Before you can even get to the point of using actual swag.. you have to do your homework. so.. put ‘swag’ into our rhetorical formula...

In the beginning...
You have to define your audience.. who are you trying to win over?
Identify the type of person you’re pursuing... go deeper than the typical stereotype.. you have to be able to assess the kind of steez your dealing with.
If you can read people like books.. this should be easy for you.. If you can’t.. look at the way they respond to how others act. You don’t learn about people through action, you learn about them through REaction. You’ll see what they take offense in.. how they handle awkward moments.. what their strengths and weaknesses are as far as relationships go. You can figure all of this out in the first 10 minutes of interaction with them if you look for the right things.
If they always have a friend close by.. and tend to hang on to them, especially when they feel uncomfortable.. then you know you have a potential clinger on your hands..someone that falls quickly that you’re going to have to exercise patience with or you’ll be like prunes in her dating digestion.. you’ll go right through. OR she’ll go crazy if you show too much too soon and start planning a wedding.. which is just as bad.

What do they already know about the subject you are presenting? (the subject you’re presenting is yourself in this case) and How credible do they see you?

If you meet someone.. and they say anything along the lines of ‘ooh YOU’RE John Smith..?’.. or if you KNOW they know who you are and who you’ve dated.. you need to pin down the reputation you have in their eyes... and, whether its good OR bad.. you need to prove it wrong.
If they think you’re ‘too nice of a guy’.. you have to be the contrary.
If they automatically think you’re a ‘tool’ or ‘bad boy’.. you have to show the other side of you.
This will do 2 things..
First. It will be just enough of a shock to their sub-conscience that it will keep them interested longer.
and Second.. until you dissolve this preconceived notion.. you’re not on fair playing ground.. and you’re competing with the ghost or idea of yourself. eliminate all unnecessary detrimental competition.
Play up your strengths!!
Every girl likes a guy that knows what he’s doing.. it makes us feel safer with you.. why? i have no idea. but we dig it. AND we dig confidence.. and when you’re talking about/doing something you’re good at.. the confidence will shine through as opposed to fake yucky conceded cocky grossness.
there’s a FIIIINE line.. find it. and work it.
This is where a good wingman is a necessity. Have each other’s backs.. cuz someone ELSE can talk you up like crazyyy without you sounded like you’re into yourself.
Side note to remember...
girls want what other girls want.... guys want what other guys want...
Whether or not you claim to be ‘mainstream’... everyone is to a certain extent. people like what OTHER people like... its a vicious cycle. so even if you can just CONVINCE someone that tons of chicks are into you.. you’re that much more appealing and attractive in our eyes. We want what we cant have..

Once you have the first meeting out of the way..
Assess the context and environment...
The time and place you do things is crucial!
As much as i’ve said that i’m attracted to tools... im not. i want a nice guy.. with swag..
but all you nice guys that got all butt hurt in the last ‘Master of Disguise’ post.. you don’t have to be a tool to get the girl of your dreams!! you DO however.. have to have swag!!
know WHEN to be a nice guy.. if you are too nice too soon.. it freaks us out!! if you wait too long.. we’re turned off and we smell your fakeness miles away.. like you’re putting on a ‘tool-like’ act to try and win our affection. we decode stuff for a living...we LIVE to over analyze.. we can spot a fake comin before you even get on the love radar.

We don’t want you to play games with us... we don’t want you to lead us on.. .that’s NOT what i’m saying.
But you ARE going to have to use some strategy in the way you go about things or you’re doomed to failure. THIS is the single reason that tools succeed.. is they use this ‘swaggering’ strategy.. and we fall for it!!

In the middle is where you win them over...
you have to KEEP their attention..
Logically ordering parts of your argument.. laying the correct cards on the table at the right time.. the timing of this is essential here.
.. if you’re a nice guy... you need to know WHEN to be a nice guy...

My friend Abby was in the beginning stages of dating this guy Tim. She met Tim a year ago through a friend and occasionally would run into him. She knew ‘of him’ on a ‘first name basis’ in that.. she had talked about him indirectly with her friend so much that she felt like she knew him pretty well. Good ol’ facebook connected them a year later (now) and he asked her on a date. *remember that they had never hung out.. this is important.
So.. they went on the first date.. he was great.. he was a gentleman.. easy to talk to.. it pretty much went as well as any first date could go.. she really enjoyed herself.
She made it clear that she was busy.. he made it clear that he was busy.. so it was perfect.
** she had also just gotten out of a relationship.. so besides the fact of being physically busy.. Abby was emotionally busy too. she didn’t really want to have to think about any boy situation too hard for a while.
A week passed without them talking or hanging out when she got another phone call to go on a second date. She obviously agreed.. given the success of the first date they had been on. The second date was fantastic! He took her to do things that she loved to do.. they had a blast!!
By the end of the second date she was like ‘ok.. i think i love this boy.. this is fantastic’..
then an hour passed.
At the end of this hour she decided that she felt weird about it and she didn’t want to go out with homie again.
Then the next morning she decided.. ya.. i think i kinda like him.. i don’t know if i wanna go out with him again.. but hey.. its perfect. he’s busy.. I’M busy.. and i’ll have a while to think about it!
2 days later she gets a text from him asking her on another date for a couple days later.
Being a girl.. and picking the easiest form of rejection when put in a compromising situation that you don’t know how you feel and do NOT wanna have to make up your mind.... she didnt text back.
a few days later.. he called. she didn’t answer.
all she wanted was room to breathe.
A week later.. after a WEEK of not returning his calls or texts.. she got a text that said ‘look outside your door’.
Her favorite flowers and candy COVERED her front porch.
... remember how i said they had never hung out before this? and they went on 2 dates.. no hanging out in between... so they had literally seen each other TWICE.
its prettttyyy safe to say that Abby was freaked out.
she wanted sooo bad to love the nice guy in Tim and see in him what she’s always wanted in a boyfriend...
but homeboy... you gotta learn how to play the game here bud!

Hold off on your ‘nice guy’ cards until you’re further into her mind and her heart! If you would’ve done the SAME thing after a couple more dates and hanging out a little bit.. when she was more secure and SURE about her entire situation.. you would’ve been puttin down ACES!! but because you played them to early.. you put yourself waaay behind in the game!

a nice guy thats too nice of a guy too early.. is unattractive.
make us work for SOMETHING or we’ll plow right through you!


When presenting an argument.. you have to consider what sort of mental/physical state your audience will be in..

If they just got out of a relationship.. they’re going to be needy to a certain point because they’re used to comfortability..
but they’ll also get freaked out easily if you take the comfortability too far.
If they just got cheated on.. they’re gonna have major trust issues that you need to address and dissolve right off the bat. you need to make SURE they know they can trust you.. or they’ll move on. You have to be more actively engaged in this relationship right from the get go cuz the insecurity is higher.

All of us girls want a knight in shining armor..
hold our hands first! kiss us goodnight! and take us places YOU feel confident in.. where your cocky little strut that we think is sooo hot comes out!
Dont take us to a party where you’re unanimously hated at... what good is that gonna do you?! take us around people that are biiig fans of YOURS that will openly remind us of how lucky we are to be with you! we like this!!

You have to provide concrete data to support your argument.... it doesn’t matter how great your claim is if you dont’ have BOMB evidence.. These people only add to your credibility of ‘boyfriend material’..

Someone commented on the last post that in order to be successful with girls you have to play them against each other... this is false. and this is the concept through ‘tool glasses’. the truth in this statement.. is we want to be with someone that other people want to be with.
we don’t want you to PLAY US.. but we want to have the fact that you CHOSE us clearly pointed out to us..
nothing is more attractive than a guy with a thousand options.. that chose YOU.
chicks eat this stuff UP!

Having patience with your swag cards is important even in recycled relationships.

My friend Tanya had dated this kid Josh on and off for a couple years when they decided to ‘call it quits’. they CLAIMED that they were never going to speak again.. but that was definitely a bit dramatic.
After 4 months of zero communication.. (a record for the both of them) Tanya had a feeling that something was not right in Josh’s life.. she could see and had heard that he was having a hard time.. and she obviously still cared about him as a human being.. they had been best friends for years!
So. Tanya put her pride in her pocket.. picked up the phone.. and called him.
They talked for a while.. and Tanya made a mental note not to talk to him again for a while.. but during their conversation.. he confirmed that he had been having a hard time and he really needed someone to be there for him.
because of this Tanya decided to put forth more effort and really try and make sure he was ok..
oh ya.. did i mention that they kissed? bad idea on her part. dummy.
but it did happen. which didn’t add to the over all easiness of the situation.
She didn’t ‘over step her bounds’ as far as a friend... but because they had so much history.. the fact that she was putting forth this effort that came LITERALLY out of nowhere only led to her downfall.
NOW.. because Josh thought that Tanya was trying to come back into his life with full force.. they don’t talk at allllll and its even more awkward NOW than when they first broke up!
Tanya needed to ease her way back into this friendship.. not show so much concern right off the bat. There would definitely be time later to repair the 'friendship bond' between them.. and at THAT point she would've been able to help him. But because they hadn't taken the transition steps.. she lost Josh even more than she had before.
What did Tanya fail to recognize??
That the bigger the tool... the more stubborn they are.. the longer you have to wait to call them back. The more of a cocky douche bag they are.. the more hard to get you have to be... EVEN as just a friend!!
Josh doesn’t like ANYONE to care too much about him.. he thinks thats too easy and he moves on with his life to a bigger and badder challenge.
You have to NOT talk to him when he wants to talk.. you have to keep it in YOUR court.. and then make him wait!

Play your cards at the RIGHT time.. its not what you do.. its how and when you do it!


The ending of your presentation is probably what they’ll remember the most..
this is right before you ‘get a grade’ on your paper... right before you ‘seal the deal’
If a conclusion only summarizes... if you already read all of it... then its boring!! If your relationship becomes stagnant because you fail to keep things exciting and full of spark.. then you wont seal the deal!
When getting close to committing.. Issue a sort of challenge or call to action.... leave things in THEIR court so they have a sense of ownership and so they feel needed...
I’m not saying use this ‘modernized love’ thing. thats dumb. YOU are the boy.. YOU call us first.. YOU ask US out on the dates...
but once you’ve CLEARLY displayed LOTS of effort (when it gets to that point) sit back for a sec.. and let us come to you.

LIke i said.. we dont want you to play with us.. we dont want guys that JUST play hard to get.. but if you dont’ position yourself in a way that makes you successful.. then girls wont think twice about you.
we WANT to fall in love with you... you just have to HELP us!


Once you learn something.. once you KNOW something... you are held accountable for doing it..
so all you ‘nice guys’ that got alll butt hurt in the last ‘master of disguise’ post... learn to HAVE SWAG.. and you will have no PROBLEM landing the girls! they WILL fall for you if you have swag.. you will beat out all the tools if you have both the nice guy heart and the OG swag of a player... if you know how to play the game and you don’t USE it to MESS with girls... but on the contrary.. you use it to form lasting relationships...

It’s like harry potter and the sorcerer's stone..
anyone who wanted to FIND the stone.. FIND it but NOT use it.. only HE would be able to get it!

You didn’t know when you would EVER use that 14 page rhetorical analysis that you HAD to write in 3rd year English did you..? AND a HP reference...?You’re welcome.

Learn these tools.. and then use them for good. dont be Hitler. be raiders of this lost art..
The art of persuasion is a dangerous power.. use it well..

xoxo
-Callymon