For better or Worse

Everyone is different.
You find people of all shapes and sizes.. all different personalities... quarks.. pet peeves.. things that set them off... tolerance levels... hair color.. eye color... and scars.
But one thing that all of us as human being have in common, is the fact that we came from something before. We all have a past us.. and a present us... things that in our personal history changed us for the better.. or worse.. into the person we are today.
Whether it be catastrophic events.. or simple snide comments... complements.. or tiny realizations about ourselves and others.. our own timelines affect us and have molded us into us.. for better or worse.

I've been studying this very concept in those around me.. picking apart their pasts in order to get further insight into what made them the way that they are.

Things like death.. heartache.. and losing everything you have.. take quite the toll on someone's soul and set behaviors. People that go through these horrible life-changing events usually come out one way or the other...
for better...
They focus on what matters most to them in their lives... determined to become the best person they can possibly be in every area.. realizing that they in no way had a part in their fate in accordance to these events and they become the Mother Teresa's of the world.. attempting to relieve the pain of anyone and everyone they possibly can.

or for worse..
They blame themselves... determined to never let this kind of heart ache happen again.. closing out any possibility of happiness in fear of the unknown.. fear of failure and sadness. They close themselves off.. with good reason. But they change for the worse. silently crying for help that others around them need to recognize and provide.

Winning the lottery.. falling in love.. and having a moment where everything is right in your life.. change you in ways for better or worse as well...
For better..
People become lovely and giving.. sharing their happiness no matter the kind that they're in abundance of.

for worse..
People become greedy and selfish.. holding on to every ounce of money or love that they have at that time.. often times with the result of them later losing it.

You can look back into someone's history and see what made them how they are... drawing a road map of when they changed for the better.. and when they changed for the worse.
When doing this.. you either gain sympathy for their poor unfortunate souls... wanna kick them in the teeth.. or simply have an explanation of the hard shell or giant softy in front of you.

In the world of love and singleness.. if we each had a road map of everyone on the menu.. we could better understand the retarded world we live in.. we could gain a better perspective of why the douche-bags we date.. act the way that they do. And if it didn't help further us in our quest for love... at least it would give us a good hard laugh. and the ability to recognize the faults in one another with a grain of salt.. realizing that all of us are an ex-something and we- with a little effort - can most likely pull whoever they are out of whatever retarded slump they've fallen into. We can reveal the humanity in each other.. silently.. or publicly.. depending on how gutsy each of us are.. and hopefully reach common.. mature.. ground.. someday.

In a community full of dude-bro's and possibly the most vain people i've ever met.. it wasn't hard to come across.. not just one... but several conversations.. about nothing more than being hot.
At first it was pretty amusing.. not gonna lie.. as dude-bro after homie.. after tool box.. talked about special tanning creme made from the geckos of the nile that only they could get for the delicate condition of their skin.. that practically made them a no brainer for any lady they pursued... About hair gel that was JUST the right amount of hold that took them from jersey shore.. to Abercrombie model.. so they could look natural.. but still like they cared.
They proceeded to talk about their favorite part of a woman's body.. and the PERFECT exercise that they should do to make their butt exactly the right shape.. and how many 'chicks wanted them'.
About 30 seconds into this conversation.. i wanted to ralph.

As i searched the room contemplating suicide.. wondering if i could get more horrific than 'death by carbs' in the eyes of the group in front of me... i said a small prayer for the douche bag's of the world.
There honestly can't be that many people in the world stuck in never land.... with the 'mature' part of their brain missing.. the 'grow up' gene... just GONE! i mean honestly.. ya.. its great that you're hot. but really? being hot is like a pre-req. nobody really cares THAT much.. and CERTAINLY nobody wants to hear about it!
Physical attraction is decided in the first 5 seconds of meeting someone.. it is the door into the kingdom of love. If you pass.. you get to explore.. if you don't... you go find another door. It's such a matter of personal taste and judgement that it becomes a base-line. You probably wont date someone that YOU'RE not physically attracted to.. bottom line. They don't have to be attractive to someone else.. but YOU have to like the way they look. So. being a baseline.. a door... its ridiculous how much emphasis some people put on it. P.R.E.R.E.Q.U.I.S.I.T.E.. baseline!
If you're hot... that's great. good for you... but if you really have to tell someone else how hot you are... you're gonna end up with a whole bunch of puke down your shirt.


So.. after searching and compiling and asking and deciding and inquiring and finding....
this is what i came up with:

Alright.. hold up homies.. before i get knee deep in this.. and start getting hate mail.. i obviously realize that there are in fact, exceptions to every rule.. if you find them.. send em my way. If you feel like you ARE the exception.. you have a big case of 'i think i'm awesome syndrome'... or you think you're tight. Which is fine... but no. you can not nominate yourself.
alright. covered all my bases? good.


Ex-Brown-baggers: People that used to be fuggs (freakin ugly) and are now hot.

I want to marry a late bloomer. They're the best people in society. ok i lied.. they can go one of two ways..
for better...
They miss the whole 'think you're super hot and get super annoying in high school' phase... they most definitely value things about themselves waaaay more than their looks.. they've taken the time to develop an actual brain and opinion about things in the world.. so most of the time they're either smart.. or funny.. or both. And they either a) don't know their hot yet.. or b) they've figured it out.. but when you tell them.. they receive it as a genuine complement.. other than the 'well duh' look. When you get the 'for better' side of the late bloomer.. they've been over looked in the tool draft and come out on top.
This is one of the reasons that you see 10's with 5's... one of the two either doesn't realize how hot they are... contributed to their late-bloomer-syndrome.. and/or they haven't had the shallowness branded into their brains their whole life.. so they value other things more than pure physical attraction.

for worse...
while there's nothing better than a 'better bloomer'... a 'worse' bloomer..? yuck. there's rarely anything that can top the annoyingness.
People that used to be fuggs.. that all of the sudden realize they're hot.. and realize the power that comes with being hot...that literally CANT SHUT UP about how hot they are... wooooof.
These lovely people have comebacks like...'but they're not even HOT!'.. and 'yaaa but you're waaayyy hotter than they are.. duh! so like.. you win anyway.' These are the people that missed the 'play the field years' in high school and/or early college years... they missed the 'prime douchery memories and stats'.. and are DETERMINED to make up for lost time. They often times act juvenile... in EVERYTHING THEY DO. They party hard LONG after everyone else grows out of it.. they play more games in relationships because 'they just aren't sure if the person they're dating understands the value of the person in front of them'..
These people wont date.. or slay.. anything less than a 9 at worst. They feel like they deserve ONLY 10's as far as looks go cuz uh 'duh.. they're hot now'. They most of the time will end up with a bimbo whose brains are in.. some form of lump on their body..(biceps..abs..or if they're a chick.. other..lady.. lumps..) Or... nah. they pretty much end up with someone who definitely has the physical attraction going for them.. don't get me wrong.. they end up with hotties... but usually these people have nothing else going for them... the conversations with them are like talking to a brick wall.

The exception..
Sometimes ex-fuggzies (late bloomers) are and end up with regular people.. don't follow a formula.. and go through life happily as though they had bloomed at an earlier age.. or never at all.


Ex-grocery-baggers: People that used to be fat.. (in a dude's case scrawny would apply here also) that are now skinny.. (or shredded)... yes i realize this is just an extension.. for chicks its pretty much the same... for dudes.. it makes a specialty group.. of even more gaggy people.

Normal people that have made the switch.. joined a gym.. given up chocolate cake.. or recently had lipo.. act.. normal. go figure. Nothing really changes except.. they look different. yay. good for them. have a cookie.

Worse than worse...
The dudes that all the sudden have become shredded? CAN'T SHUT UP about their diet and work out... they constantly watch what others eat around them.. and literally will NOT shut up about how blah blah blah happened.. and then they got shredded and it fixed everything. All they wanna talk about is the gym... These are usually the dudes you see... standing in front of the mirror at golds.. with a cut off shirt that barely covers their nipples.. making out with their biceps. These guys usually make the biggest tools you can find. (all of the above assumptions about ex-fuggs-a-puggs applies here as well..)
The chicks that have made the transition.. for worse..? Usually dress in the skimpy clothes they 'missed out' on wearing before.. and they abandon all of their other qualities to act retarded. They actually TRY and be stupider than they are because they've seen all the other chicks their whole lives get guys with the laugh and flip.. bend and snap.. mentality.

Once again.. the exception? .. sometimes people that fall in this category are completely normal.. but those are no fun to talk about.

Ex-beauty-queens: People that used to be attractive.. that have seriously gone down hill.

For better:
They're fine.. they settle into the middle numbers and are ok with it. alright.. ya.. its more normal than 'better'.. but still... normal is better than WORSE!

For worse:
its just sad. They become super self-conscious because they get a lot less attention than they used to.. they constantly feel like they have something to prove so they share waaaay more with you about their personal lives than they should..
they find every excuse to tell you how hot they are.. because they want YOU to believe it. They will NOT post an accurate or current picture on Facebook... they live in the glory days.
They often times have a false elitist sense to them... feeling like they're too attractive to date anyone..

Ex-Sweethearts: People that were perfect and normal in relationships until someone ruined them.

For better:
These people have been in bad relationships and are determined to find something quality. They are determined to do whatever it takes to make it work this time. They keep the past in the past and learn from their mistakes.. often times moving on faster because of the heartache they've had to face.

For worse:
These are the people that were normal.. and functioning.. and not douchey.. until some retard messed them up. They often times have trust issues.. cant settle down, or commit to anything... ever.. They often times have one thing in particular that they are INSANE about.. whether it be cheating.. or 'never feeling good enough'... or separation issues..
Whoever messed these perfectly good people up.. should be shot. Because NOW they figure that whatever they did prior.. aka.. the 'nice guy' or 'nice girl' routine.. obviously didn't work.. so they now will become a douche... a jerk.. a homie that will always have the upper hand by caring less. It's just sad sad sad.

Everyone has a past.. recognize it right here and now. as the human race.. we need to be able to laugh at each other's weaknesses and take people with a grain of salt, however, we also need to realize that we have absolutely NOTHING to prove to ANYONE but ourselves.. we don't need to shove ourselves down people's throats for them to realize how great we are.. people are more perceptive that we give them credit for. We don't need to judge people on how they were or looked in high school.. but we also don't need to ACT like we're in high school.
If everyone in the single world could just GROW UP.. even just a little bit.. and realize that we are exactly who we are and someone is going to love us.. for how we are.. not how we pretend to be.. NOT how we tell others we are.
Good for you for winning the lottery.. good for you for changing into someone that you want to be physically.. or mentally.. or spiritually.. or emotionally.
But beauty is far more than skin deep. it's simply a pre-req. get through the door and explore the real beauty about someone... their soul.
We are who we are.. for better.. or worse.

until later..
xoxo
-Callymon