alright.. no i didn't join the entire universe last night watching the Bachelor.. "women tell all"..
so.. naturally.. i watched it online like 10 minutes ago..
First off, you have to know... for some reason i HATE the bachelor. Every episode i'm yellin at the tv.. "YOU TOOL!!" and "REALLY BRAD.. REALLY?!" and all sorts of fun stuff. I think the entire show is playing mind games with the women of America.. it's validating the relationship stereotypes and clearly.. it's hurting a lot of them.
So.. first thought. Chris Harrison.. You brat. (except for him standing up for michelle.. that was classy.)
If someone doesn't say exactly what he wants them to say on camera to raise his ratings or serve the purpose he thinks they should on the show he manipulates their words so that it fits into his plan... example? Ashley H. sits in front of him after clearly a traumatic experience for her and is being classy and gracious and trying not to say anything too extreme.. she tried to stay OUT of getting down brad's throat about the situation. She took the entire experience and said that she didn't regret it and she was learning from it which was definitely one of the classier approaches to the entire episode.. so what does Chris do? "What do you feel that unspoken connection was between you and Brad?" she tells him she doesn't know and tries to move on. "Do you think it was love?" Chris asks... Ash responds "this early on i don't really know"
within like 5 sentences he's down her throat AGAIN and straight up TELLS HER..."i'm sorry.. but you were in love." how dare he.. how the crap would he know that? tool box.
Second..
having been a part of a reality show experience you learn how much editing goes into the actual show. They cast people and then they pigeon hole people where they want them. They have to have a drama queen.. they have to have every kind of stereotype and they have to play girls against each other. I truly believe that they pin pointed Michelle right off the bat as the one that they could play up to be the brat. They saw her out there personality and used it against her.
Living in a house with the only outside contact and influence is what the network gives you.. of course you're going to be manipulated into saying things that they want you too.. They ask certain questions to get you to say certain things in interviews and then they air them with things that are irrelevant. Yes.. you say the things you say on camera.. they don't edit sentences together.. but how many of us have said outrageous things in literally the heat of the moment that the next sentence we over compensate for or laugh off...
They didn't give Michelle the luxury of that. How many of her comments were sound bites? How many were just stuck in somewhere..? How does America even know that she said that during that week or episode...? She could've said marvelous things about every single girl right after telling the camera she wishes they were attacked by apes.. yet the CAMERA.. (the editor).. is given the ability to pick and choose what he wants to use.
Like i said before.. i think the show is a sham.. but i do think that the Michelle attacks.. especially on the "Women tell all" got out of hand. She made the show interesting and hilarious.. and yes. dramatic.. reality tv.. dramatic? weird right..?
Ok third.. Ashley H. apologized for being insecure about her relationship with brad after seeing him with the other women..
It's so easy for us as viewers to go.. dang Ash.. chill OUT!! Just fall for him.. just GO WITH IT! see how the other girls are? whats WRONG with you!!!
But now put yourself in her shoes.. (btw.. are now very sexy shoes.. can anyone say holler at her makeover..? you go girl. way to come out on top after a break up... as brad said.. MERCY!!)
You are a girl.. that's falling for a guy.. that sees him with 20 other women acting the exact same way he acts with you............ how on earth could you feel one OUNCE of security in the relationship..? How could you NOT want him to reassure you every 5 seconds how he feels about you.. when in 2 takes and 30 seconds of film.. he'll be professing the SAME love for like 6 other chicks!! It's easy to be secure about a relationship when you know how someone feels about you.. and the more she fell for him... the more vulnerable she became.. which in turn.. lead to more insecurity because she was literally having to COMPETE for his attention and his love.
This show is WHACK. It makes everything in a relationship lie in the hands of only ONE person in it.. while the other person (or in this case.. other 25 people) sits and waits for them to decide if they're "fawwlling for them". You see what he does.. he tells every single one of them that they're an "incredible woman that [he] could see [himself] marrying".. maybe it makes him a good guy.. but in my eyes.. it makes him a TOOL! tool. tool tool.
he leads them all on and confuses them along the way while us viewers are (yes incredibly entertained) but we're watching it happen.. watching the connections being made.. with basically every girl.
Ya. duuh.. every girl HAD to know what they were getting themselves into.. and hey.. as much as i criticize the show.. i still watched it.
But MERCY brad.. the world doesn't revolve around you.. and as soon as the show ends.. maybe you'll get a dose of that reality.
My vote? I'm obsessed with Emily. i think she's perfect. i think she deserves the best.
But i'm not tool box brad.. so we'll see what he decides.
I don't really remember the rest of "women tell all".. those were just the highlights for me.
Everybody wants to find love.. these shows just tend to pick the 25 people in America that want to be in love THE MOST!!! And they love to use their vulnerability against them.. they spin it to make every single one of them seem really really desperate.
I followed the "on the wings of love" season really closely with my roomies...
since day one.. every single one of us went.. oh that vienna chick is goin home FIRST! woooo.. how could he want to marry HER! .. you see how wrong WE were... jake..? sketch ball.
haha really though... anyone that goes on national television to find someone to marry... couldn't be allll that together..
however.. not gonna lie.. i totally wanna be the bachelorette.. you see the the guys that go on it? HOT-TIES. no doubt.. annnddd where else are you going to find that you can date (and kiss) 25 people at the same time and all of them know about it.. are ok with it... and they all only want YOU!! psh... sign me up!!
The interesting thing.... in one second they're celebrating marriage and the journey to find your significant other..
When 2 hours later.. same cast.. same network.. is showing you that the single life is where its AT!! (BACHELOR PAD)
how come all of the people in America that they found that were "serious about settling down" and "really there for the right reasons.. to find and fall in love" .... are all the sudden only down to get down with an entire house of beautiful people. hey hey.. i'm not saying its bad.. single life works better for some people.. and yes. i will be watching the Bachelor Pad as well.. but just food for thought.
to be completely honest.. i'll probably post again today. this bachelor thing just couldn't go without recognition in my mind. my head was gonna explode.. ugh. Tool box Brad..
Xo for now..
-Callymon
March 8, 2011
March 7, 2011
Let's get down to business......
In this life, we have the opportunity to get exactly what we want.
We can walk into a store.. find any kind of clothing in basically any size and color.. and if they don't have it there... we can order it online!
We can go to a restaurant and order to our specifications.. no matter how outrageous our requests are.. you might get a niiice surprise from your waiter in your food buuut... they pretty much go with it.
We can travel anywhere we want to go.. See whatever we want to see.. Study whatever we want to study..
We have the world at our finger tips.. ready for our instruction.. ready for us to challenge it and mold it into something amazing..
But before we decide a game plan.. before we can go and explore the possibilities of this endless world.. we first have to decide what we're fighting for... where we're going.. what wash of jeans we like.. what kind of pizza.. we have to decide where we want to end up.
The only problem is.. none of us know what we want.
It's really easy to fall off our path and get lost when we a) don't have a map.. b) it's dark outside and c) we don't know or don't care where we're going anyway!
i know every girl has her list of the perfect guy.. perfect job.. perfect house.. perfect wedding dress.. perfect kids.. perfect date... perfect LIFE.. perfect everything..
But common.. how many of us are going to find a prince from australia that used to be an abercrombie model but quit to feed children in Africa that makes more money than Apple.. has full heads of hair on both sides of his family.... is well into his career yet still has time to take private massage classes when he's not playing the guitar.. singing.. and writing songs about how much he loves you.. who's kisses taste like chocolate.. and favorite thing in the world to do is make you happy.. who is also a Vampire. juussst sayin
Nope. nabbed that one. good luck finding his equal.
Yes our ambitions and our lists can be incredible.. they are SUPPOSED to force us to reach for the stars.. but they also have to be realistic to our work ethic. We have to be realistic with ourselves.
You can't expect to run a marathon without training for it. You can't expect to lose weight eating Krispy Kreme doughnuts every day. You can't think that you'll get a promotion or even a job if you're late every day, look like you just woke up, and facebook while you're supposed to be working.
We don't even have to have a set game plan.. it can be an outline.. but we need to be working for and towards SOMETHING.
We are hardwired for progression. When we're not moving forward.. we're moving backwards. No one can be stagnant. If we were to stand still.. even for a moment.. the world would pass us by.. making us 3 steps behind where we were before.
There is nothing worse than wasted talent. Laziness. And people that give up because they set their own bars to far out of reach.
Train for your marathon one step at a time. Cut the Krispy kremes out one at a time.
You. Can. Be. Great... you just have to take the initiative!
Last night i watched 'A walk to Remember'.. balled my friggin eyes out nbd..
In the movie, Landon finds himself on a road going nowhere. He's popular at his Highschool.. but that's all he's got going for him. The things he has in common with the people he surrounds himself with are their taste in liquor.. taste in girls.. ability to BS like no one's business.. and their knack for getting in trouble. When one of these trouble making experiences gets him ..duh.. in trouble.. he's forced to join some clubs and associate with new people. This is where he meets Jamie Sullivan. Jamie changes Landon for the better.. she brings out the best in him.. and they find themselves looking to make each other happy.. with REAL things instead of the filler things in his life before. She makes him WANT to be better.
Landon turns his life around because of the influence Jamie has in his life.
I think this trumps any list that any of us could ever make. Love is something that refines us through another. It's finding someone that makes us want to be a better person.. someone that can see past all of our 'fillers' in our lives and bring out the true us.
This perspective changed my list from
- 6 pack
- great hair
- football player
- good teeth
to things like:
- loves his mom
- loves me
- would do anything for me
- doesn't necessarily know what he's doing with his life yet but has ambition to get there
- wants me to be happy
- gives service
- when we stand next to each other in front of a mirror.. he looks at ME instead of himself.
Don't get me wrong.. my hubby will still have.. washboard abs.. an amazing smile.. and he'll be able to make more than toast for dinner... but the priorities have flip flopped.
I want my Jamie Sullivan. The person that brings out the best in me. That sees goodness in me.. that sees possibilities that even i don't.
The other day i played a game. My friend James and I stood on separate sides of a room and would toss Gummy Bears at each other and catch them in our mouths. Duuh.. you've all played it. so. we started goin one at a time keepin score.. bein awesome at it. and once we got to NBA draft amazing status.. we decided to challenge ourselves even more...
we were about to attempt the... (drum roll please).. throw Gummy Bears at each other at the SAME TIME and catch them in our mouths.. WooOOOaaaAaaAHH bro!
so. the first couple attempts we failed miserably.. i don't even think i hit HIM at all.. just the wall and the floor.. We were focusing on the catch.
We stopped and re-evaluated our Gummy Bear strategy.. through long discussion, evaluation, and game film.. we decided that we would ONLY focus on the toss.. and that the catch would follow..
dum dum dum DUUUMMM.... IT WORKED!!!!
When we stopped focusing on ourselves in the relationship and ONLY focused on each other's success.. both of us came out on top! Again... THIS. is what love is. THIS.. is the way to succeed.
We need to play our Gummy Bear Games to WIN. cuz gummy bears are yummy and they don't belong on the floor.
Sound track to my life song today: "I'll make a man out of you" - Mulan Soundtrack
ahem.. allow me to quote it for all you people who think you're too grown up for Disney movies...
LETS get down to business.. to defeat (boom BAM) the huns...
DID they send me daughters.. when i asked (chhha waaa) for sons?!
you're the saddest BUNCH i ever met... but you can BET before we're through..
Mr. i'll... make a man... out of youuuuuu!
It's epic to say the least. and when i found out that it was Donny Osmond as the voice.. i gained a WHOLE new respect for him.
Be amazing today.. because you can be.
Until tomorrow!
Peace. Love. Donny or die.
xoxo
-Callymon
We can walk into a store.. find any kind of clothing in basically any size and color.. and if they don't have it there... we can order it online!
We can go to a restaurant and order to our specifications.. no matter how outrageous our requests are.. you might get a niiice surprise from your waiter in your food buuut... they pretty much go with it.
We can travel anywhere we want to go.. See whatever we want to see.. Study whatever we want to study..
We have the world at our finger tips.. ready for our instruction.. ready for us to challenge it and mold it into something amazing..
But before we decide a game plan.. before we can go and explore the possibilities of this endless world.. we first have to decide what we're fighting for... where we're going.. what wash of jeans we like.. what kind of pizza.. we have to decide where we want to end up.
The only problem is.. none of us know what we want.
It's really easy to fall off our path and get lost when we a) don't have a map.. b) it's dark outside and c) we don't know or don't care where we're going anyway!
i know every girl has her list of the perfect guy.. perfect job.. perfect house.. perfect wedding dress.. perfect kids.. perfect date... perfect LIFE.. perfect everything..
But common.. how many of us are going to find a prince from australia that used to be an abercrombie model but quit to feed children in Africa that makes more money than Apple.. has full heads of hair on both sides of his family.... is well into his career yet still has time to take private massage classes when he's not playing the guitar.. singing.. and writing songs about how much he loves you.. who's kisses taste like chocolate.. and favorite thing in the world to do is make you happy.. who is also a Vampire. juussst sayin
Nope. nabbed that one. good luck finding his equal.
Yes our ambitions and our lists can be incredible.. they are SUPPOSED to force us to reach for the stars.. but they also have to be realistic to our work ethic. We have to be realistic with ourselves.
You can't expect to run a marathon without training for it. You can't expect to lose weight eating Krispy Kreme doughnuts every day. You can't think that you'll get a promotion or even a job if you're late every day, look like you just woke up, and facebook while you're supposed to be working.
We don't even have to have a set game plan.. it can be an outline.. but we need to be working for and towards SOMETHING.
We are hardwired for progression. When we're not moving forward.. we're moving backwards. No one can be stagnant. If we were to stand still.. even for a moment.. the world would pass us by.. making us 3 steps behind where we were before.
There is nothing worse than wasted talent. Laziness. And people that give up because they set their own bars to far out of reach.
Train for your marathon one step at a time. Cut the Krispy kremes out one at a time.
You. Can. Be. Great... you just have to take the initiative!
Last night i watched 'A walk to Remember'.. balled my friggin eyes out nbd..
In the movie, Landon finds himself on a road going nowhere. He's popular at his Highschool.. but that's all he's got going for him. The things he has in common with the people he surrounds himself with are their taste in liquor.. taste in girls.. ability to BS like no one's business.. and their knack for getting in trouble. When one of these trouble making experiences gets him ..duh.. in trouble.. he's forced to join some clubs and associate with new people. This is where he meets Jamie Sullivan. Jamie changes Landon for the better.. she brings out the best in him.. and they find themselves looking to make each other happy.. with REAL things instead of the filler things in his life before. She makes him WANT to be better.
Landon turns his life around because of the influence Jamie has in his life.
I think this trumps any list that any of us could ever make. Love is something that refines us through another. It's finding someone that makes us want to be a better person.. someone that can see past all of our 'fillers' in our lives and bring out the true us.
This perspective changed my list from
- 6 pack
- great hair
- football player
- good teeth
to things like:
- loves his mom
- loves me
- would do anything for me
- doesn't necessarily know what he's doing with his life yet but has ambition to get there
- wants me to be happy
- gives service
- when we stand next to each other in front of a mirror.. he looks at ME instead of himself.
Don't get me wrong.. my hubby will still have.. washboard abs.. an amazing smile.. and he'll be able to make more than toast for dinner... but the priorities have flip flopped.
I want my Jamie Sullivan. The person that brings out the best in me. That sees goodness in me.. that sees possibilities that even i don't.
The other day i played a game. My friend James and I stood on separate sides of a room and would toss Gummy Bears at each other and catch them in our mouths. Duuh.. you've all played it. so. we started goin one at a time keepin score.. bein awesome at it. and once we got to NBA draft amazing status.. we decided to challenge ourselves even more...
we were about to attempt the... (drum roll please).. throw Gummy Bears at each other at the SAME TIME and catch them in our mouths.. WooOOOaaaAaaAHH bro!
so. the first couple attempts we failed miserably.. i don't even think i hit HIM at all.. just the wall and the floor.. We were focusing on the catch.
We stopped and re-evaluated our Gummy Bear strategy.. through long discussion, evaluation, and game film.. we decided that we would ONLY focus on the toss.. and that the catch would follow..
dum dum dum DUUUMMM.... IT WORKED!!!!
When we stopped focusing on ourselves in the relationship and ONLY focused on each other's success.. both of us came out on top! Again... THIS. is what love is. THIS.. is the way to succeed.
We need to play our Gummy Bear Games to WIN. cuz gummy bears are yummy and they don't belong on the floor.
Sound track to my life song today: "I'll make a man out of you" - Mulan Soundtrack
ahem.. allow me to quote it for all you people who think you're too grown up for Disney movies...
LETS get down to business.. to defeat (boom BAM) the huns...
DID they send me daughters.. when i asked (chhha waaa) for sons?!
you're the saddest BUNCH i ever met... but you can BET before we're through..
Mr. i'll... make a man... out of youuuuuu!
It's epic to say the least. and when i found out that it was Donny Osmond as the voice.. i gained a WHOLE new respect for him.
Be amazing today.. because you can be.
Until tomorrow!
Peace. Love. Donny or die.
xoxo
-Callymon
March 6, 2011
Double dog dare...
Have you ever wanted something so bad that you would literally give up anything to get it??
The idea of it turns in to thinking about it occasionally.. occasional becomes frequent.. then you start dreaming about it and before you know it you're a in a closet obsession because it escalates so fast that no one would even believe you if you told them how much you thought about it..
I'm a very stubborn person.. when i make my mind up about something not only do i make the decision and go forward.. when i get an idea about something or someone in my head.. whether its false or not.. i slowly start to talk myself into what i think more and more..
When i was in the 8th grade.. cheerleading tryouts were coming up. If you knew me.. or even know me now.. i was never the cheerleader type.. i was the SBO type. Since i was little i always had my sights on running for sbo.. i liked what it represented.. what they got to do.. and hey.. i dug the sweaters. til one day.. a couple weeks before the tryouts my sister made a comment that i could NEVER be a cheerleader.. it just wasn't in me.
At first.. in my head all i could think is.. "psh.. i could do it... if i wanted to.." That turned into "let me try some of those moves.. they don't look that hard... those skirts are pretty cute.." ............ "why does she think i can't do this!!! i am COMPLETELY capable of being a cheerleader!!!" ........." you know.. i've always wondered what it would be like to be a cheerleader.." and finally....."I'M GOING TO BE A CHEERLEADER!!!!"
not only did i make cheerleader.. i made co-head cheerleader. psh.. i sure showed my sister.
From one comment.. and 2 weeks inside of my head.. i worked myself into a Mc-fit. I gave up what i really wanted (at the time... once i started cheer i LOVED it and continued it as long as i could!) for what my brain got set on.. by accident!
Decisions are kinda scary in my head. My brain.. i'm convinced is determined to protect me. It's team McCall for sure.. my brain always wants me to come out on top.
When i was in 9th grade i was convinced that my boyfriend was cheating on me.. being me... i obviously confronted him about it. (i'm not one that wont speak her mind... if i have a problem.. i take care of it. do work. word) He.. of course denied it. Which got me thinking....
My brain was SET on the fact that he was cheating on me.. and so the process of one of my Mc-fits started. it went from a crazy idea.. to a "gut feeling" (that i created).. to something that i KNEW.. to "THERE IS NO OTHER OPTION.. THIS IS THE TRUTH." Because i worked myself into this state of almost panic about it.. i addressed it again. I had my mind set. and anything he said was a lie.. unless it was what i wanted to hear.
Turns out.. he was cheating on me. My mc-fit had been in tune with my mc-gut instinct.. or my freaking mc-eyes weren't blind.. But i think of how many times my stubborn little brain takes over and sabotages different areas of my life... how many times it creates monsters in my closet that are never there.. How many times i take a green flag and paint it red from fear of the unknown..
Certain things worry me.. that i don't think should.. at least as much as they do..
it's like the paranoid girl syndrome.. that i don't even think has to be developed out of a dysfunctional relationship.. i think we're just born with it!
Our heads are so worried about our hearts getting broken that they hang on to minor details looking for stories of infidelity or "major red flags" .. honestly woman.. he taps his pencil when he's thinking.. no.. NO.. it doesn't mean he has OCD or a twitch or that he counts in his head all day long.. he just likes to tap his pencil when he's thinking!!! Coughing.. sneezing.. BREATHING.. turn into red flags!
The fact that he talks to his ex MUST mean that he still wants to be with her! it HAS to mean that they're in some secret club where they talk about how much better their relationship was than yours!
My mc-brain would be so worried about it that i would work myself into one of my mc-fits and not only assume the worst.. but always be waiting for him to walk away without an explanation.
He looked at that other girl.. crap. he thinks that something is missing.. i should probably have my emotions in a to-go bag with disposable utensils just in case.. gooood thing i packed my running shoes......
Hey. i'm a girl who likes safety.. and security.
And when i smell a red flag.. or when i feel challenged.. i tackle it like a linebacker who rarely gets playing time.
It turns into the paralysis of analysis..
we analyze our jobs. we analyze what others think of us. we analyze relationships with girls. with boys.. with parents.. with bosses..
We're so worried about what to do about something that NOTHING GETS DONE!!!
We're so worried it's going to rain that we don't go outside at all until all the sudden it's raining (like 3 days later) and all we can say is "SEE! i TOLD you it was gonna rain!!"
If nothing else is in shape.. my brain sure is. and no i dont mean from studying.. It is over worked in every area of my personal life.
I've watched friends come in and out of my life.. so making ones that i think are gonna stick around for more than a season is hard. Why pull the vulnerability out of the bag..
I've watched boys walk in and out of my life.. why assume that i can sit and be happy with one..? once again.. why pull the vulnerability out of the bag..?
Why decide to be completely happy at one job.. people switch all the time.. if i get comfortable here.. it might hurt me later..
Stubborn.
Stubborn stubborn stubborn.
The other day me and my friend James.. after a fight... sat on the computer staring at our ichat with each others names pulled up.. for an HOUR! waiting for the other to start a conversation.
Please.. judge me. PLEASE call me out.. the girl who "makes things happen" and "isn't afraid to speak her mind"....
Well this mc-fit was going on in my head that had started with.. "ya.. i'll talk to him.. we're mature enough that when one of us has something to say they'll call the other.." and ended somewhere in... "WELL IF HE BLOODY H WANTS TO TALK.. HE. WILL. TALK. FIRST. DANG IT!!"
seeing my 2 week cheer mc-fit.. you know this one escalated quickly.
Right now.. in my life there are things that i want. Things i would give up anything and EVERYTHING for.. Decisions that i have to make in order to move forward..
It's scary being young!!
I'm so scared of what will lead to what that i'm stuck in the paralysis of analysis.
My stubborn brain needs to chilllllll outtt!!!
Any and every road you take will have stumbling blocks.. you'll take wrong turns.. you might end up being a cheerleader instead of an sbo.. but every experience will bring you strength. Every stumble doesn't have to be a mistake.. and if it is, every mistake is one you can learn from.. even if it's other people making them.
Leaping into the unknown.. the unsafe and insecure.. will eventually bring you happiness. Yes. you might get robbed a couple times from leaving your doors unlocked.. But you'll eventually get a reallllly good guard dog.. or a realllly good boyfriend with a shot gun who cares about your happiness just as much as you do.
if you close your eyes for too long.. your contacts will start doing funky things that make your eyes hurt when you finally decide to open them!
The challenges and weird obsessions that i come up with are a part of who i am.. they make up my mccallness even if they drive me half mad most of the time.. they sure do make life an adventure!
I'm going to get the patch for rash thinking.. call 1-888-567-truth.. and get the truth about extreme personalities.
YOU... and me... are going to get a challenge..
don't think you have to live up to someone else's idea of perfection.. even your own! Don't look for rainstorms before you see clouds... Don't build walls and shut out vulnerability in the fear of getting hurt.
be smart. don't be hermit-level-safe.
The greatest things in your life will happen when you least expect them to!!
Take the challenge to.. even if it's JUST this week... or JUST TODAY!!.. to just GO with things..
don't THINK so much!! let things happen!!
My newest challenge..
i'm giving up sugar again.
go ahead.. tell me i can't. tell me it's NOT IN ME..
yaa... i double dog DARE you.
WATCH ME!
Sound track to my life song: "Don't be stupid" - Shania Twain
and trust me if there was a song called..."give me bread.. give me sugar.. or give me death.." it would be at the top of the play list right now!
Peace. Love. Schizo freaks that make the world more interesting to live in.
xoxo
-Callymon
The idea of it turns in to thinking about it occasionally.. occasional becomes frequent.. then you start dreaming about it and before you know it you're a in a closet obsession because it escalates so fast that no one would even believe you if you told them how much you thought about it..
I'm a very stubborn person.. when i make my mind up about something not only do i make the decision and go forward.. when i get an idea about something or someone in my head.. whether its false or not.. i slowly start to talk myself into what i think more and more..
When i was in the 8th grade.. cheerleading tryouts were coming up. If you knew me.. or even know me now.. i was never the cheerleader type.. i was the SBO type. Since i was little i always had my sights on running for sbo.. i liked what it represented.. what they got to do.. and hey.. i dug the sweaters. til one day.. a couple weeks before the tryouts my sister made a comment that i could NEVER be a cheerleader.. it just wasn't in me.
At first.. in my head all i could think is.. "psh.. i could do it... if i wanted to.." That turned into "let me try some of those moves.. they don't look that hard... those skirts are pretty cute.." ............ "why does she think i can't do this!!! i am COMPLETELY capable of being a cheerleader!!!" ........." you know.. i've always wondered what it would be like to be a cheerleader.." and finally....."I'M GOING TO BE A CHEERLEADER!!!!"
not only did i make cheerleader.. i made co-head cheerleader. psh.. i sure showed my sister.
From one comment.. and 2 weeks inside of my head.. i worked myself into a Mc-fit. I gave up what i really wanted (at the time... once i started cheer i LOVED it and continued it as long as i could!) for what my brain got set on.. by accident!
Decisions are kinda scary in my head. My brain.. i'm convinced is determined to protect me. It's team McCall for sure.. my brain always wants me to come out on top.
When i was in 9th grade i was convinced that my boyfriend was cheating on me.. being me... i obviously confronted him about it. (i'm not one that wont speak her mind... if i have a problem.. i take care of it. do work. word) He.. of course denied it. Which got me thinking....
My brain was SET on the fact that he was cheating on me.. and so the process of one of my Mc-fits started. it went from a crazy idea.. to a "gut feeling" (that i created).. to something that i KNEW.. to "THERE IS NO OTHER OPTION.. THIS IS THE TRUTH." Because i worked myself into this state of almost panic about it.. i addressed it again. I had my mind set. and anything he said was a lie.. unless it was what i wanted to hear.
Turns out.. he was cheating on me. My mc-fit had been in tune with my mc-gut instinct.. or my freaking mc-eyes weren't blind.. But i think of how many times my stubborn little brain takes over and sabotages different areas of my life... how many times it creates monsters in my closet that are never there.. How many times i take a green flag and paint it red from fear of the unknown..
Certain things worry me.. that i don't think should.. at least as much as they do..
it's like the paranoid girl syndrome.. that i don't even think has to be developed out of a dysfunctional relationship.. i think we're just born with it!
Our heads are so worried about our hearts getting broken that they hang on to minor details looking for stories of infidelity or "major red flags" .. honestly woman.. he taps his pencil when he's thinking.. no.. NO.. it doesn't mean he has OCD or a twitch or that he counts in his head all day long.. he just likes to tap his pencil when he's thinking!!! Coughing.. sneezing.. BREATHING.. turn into red flags!
The fact that he talks to his ex MUST mean that he still wants to be with her! it HAS to mean that they're in some secret club where they talk about how much better their relationship was than yours!
My mc-brain would be so worried about it that i would work myself into one of my mc-fits and not only assume the worst.. but always be waiting for him to walk away without an explanation.
He looked at that other girl.. crap. he thinks that something is missing.. i should probably have my emotions in a to-go bag with disposable utensils just in case.. gooood thing i packed my running shoes......
Hey. i'm a girl who likes safety.. and security.
And when i smell a red flag.. or when i feel challenged.. i tackle it like a linebacker who rarely gets playing time.
It turns into the paralysis of analysis..
we analyze our jobs. we analyze what others think of us. we analyze relationships with girls. with boys.. with parents.. with bosses..
We're so worried about what to do about something that NOTHING GETS DONE!!!
We're so worried it's going to rain that we don't go outside at all until all the sudden it's raining (like 3 days later) and all we can say is "SEE! i TOLD you it was gonna rain!!"
If nothing else is in shape.. my brain sure is. and no i dont mean from studying.. It is over worked in every area of my personal life.
I've watched friends come in and out of my life.. so making ones that i think are gonna stick around for more than a season is hard. Why pull the vulnerability out of the bag..
I've watched boys walk in and out of my life.. why assume that i can sit and be happy with one..? once again.. why pull the vulnerability out of the bag..?
Why decide to be completely happy at one job.. people switch all the time.. if i get comfortable here.. it might hurt me later..
Stubborn.
Stubborn stubborn stubborn.
The other day me and my friend James.. after a fight... sat on the computer staring at our ichat with each others names pulled up.. for an HOUR! waiting for the other to start a conversation.
Please.. judge me. PLEASE call me out.. the girl who "makes things happen" and "isn't afraid to speak her mind"....
Well this mc-fit was going on in my head that had started with.. "ya.. i'll talk to him.. we're mature enough that when one of us has something to say they'll call the other.." and ended somewhere in... "WELL IF HE BLOODY H WANTS TO TALK.. HE. WILL. TALK. FIRST. DANG IT!!"
seeing my 2 week cheer mc-fit.. you know this one escalated quickly.
Right now.. in my life there are things that i want. Things i would give up anything and EVERYTHING for.. Decisions that i have to make in order to move forward..
It's scary being young!!
I'm so scared of what will lead to what that i'm stuck in the paralysis of analysis.
My stubborn brain needs to chilllllll outtt!!!
Any and every road you take will have stumbling blocks.. you'll take wrong turns.. you might end up being a cheerleader instead of an sbo.. but every experience will bring you strength. Every stumble doesn't have to be a mistake.. and if it is, every mistake is one you can learn from.. even if it's other people making them.
Leaping into the unknown.. the unsafe and insecure.. will eventually bring you happiness. Yes. you might get robbed a couple times from leaving your doors unlocked.. But you'll eventually get a reallllly good guard dog.. or a realllly good boyfriend with a shot gun who cares about your happiness just as much as you do.
if you close your eyes for too long.. your contacts will start doing funky things that make your eyes hurt when you finally decide to open them!
The challenges and weird obsessions that i come up with are a part of who i am.. they make up my mccallness even if they drive me half mad most of the time.. they sure do make life an adventure!
I'm going to get the patch for rash thinking.. call 1-888-567-truth.. and get the truth about extreme personalities.
YOU... and me... are going to get a challenge..
don't think you have to live up to someone else's idea of perfection.. even your own! Don't look for rainstorms before you see clouds... Don't build walls and shut out vulnerability in the fear of getting hurt.
be smart. don't be hermit-level-safe.
The greatest things in your life will happen when you least expect them to!!
Take the challenge to.. even if it's JUST this week... or JUST TODAY!!.. to just GO with things..
don't THINK so much!! let things happen!!
My newest challenge..
i'm giving up sugar again.
go ahead.. tell me i can't. tell me it's NOT IN ME..
yaa... i double dog DARE you.
WATCH ME!
Sound track to my life song: "Don't be stupid" - Shania Twain
and trust me if there was a song called..."give me bread.. give me sugar.. or give me death.." it would be at the top of the play list right now!
Peace. Love. Schizo freaks that make the world more interesting to live in.
xoxo
-Callymon
March 5, 2011
...It's complicated.
You know the people, events, feelings, and thoughts in your life that when you're asked to describe them the ONLY thing that comes to mind is.... "even if i explained it you wouldn't understand.."
We belong to the "DTR" generation. We like to define things.. every step of the way.
i recently had to write a paper for one of my classes on the psychology of dating.. i began..
I am a part of the “DTR” generation. We like to complicate love as much as possible. When it comes to relationships, each new day brings a new DTR.. the next more complicated than the previous.. you first have to be “talking”.
Once you get past this stage and you’re comfortable admitting that you’ve been in the same room more than once with the other person... (which in some cases takes a while!).. you move to the "just hanging out" phase (which hopefully soon after turns in to the full blown “hanging out” phase.) From here you teeter and totter between “we’re just talking”, “we’re sort of hanging out”, and “we’ve like, gone on a couple dates but.. it’s nothing serious” for a while until you can FINALLY move into the “UN-exclusively dating” phase.
You would think by this point that you are close to forming some sort of commitment relationship - even on the tiniest scale right? Wrong. You have about 10 phases to go. The time it takes to move from “UN-exclusively dating” to the “sort-of-exclusively dating” / "ya.. i'd probably be upset if they kissed someone else" phase.. all depends on friends and how cute you look together in your tagged pictures on facebook.
When you finally move mountains and get to the “exclusively dating” phase you would think that you are completely committed to one another.. Once again you are wrong. At this stage.. at least one of the people in the relationship has to get the confirmation they need in order to finally take the biggest step in their lives so far............. making the relationship “facebook official”
Once in this phase, declared for all of their old high school friends and weird relatives to see, the relationship can escalate further and hopefully, if they’re lucky, they’ll slowly but surely start moving to the "happily ever after" phase.
No matter what phase you're in.. "it's complicated" describes it waaaaay better than actually telling someone the details of "and then SHE said... and then HE SAID.... and then it was like... WOOOOAHHHHH..!!!.... ya follow me?"
People are so worried about what the rest of the world thinks about their relationship that they hardly address what THEY think about it until they get the universal approval that they're a) not moving too fast.. b)going to make extremely attractive children with this person and c) that she/he feels the same way they do.. and they're defining the "us" factor the same to people they talk to.
Even when talking about random things.. "it's complicated" seems to fit the mold better than a straight answer...
"what are you majoring in..?" "uh.. its complicated" so.. you're undecided? or you invented one?
"What are you doing for your date tonight?" "oh.. uh.. well.. it's complicated".... i promise dinner and a movie.. eeevvveen if you throw bowling in there.. wont throw me off.
"What did you and James talk about??" "man. it's COMPLICATED." alright cool. so you don't wanna tell me.
Right you are!... it's complicated!!!
In every step in our lives.. it's not the fact that something is complicated that screws us up. Sometimes things are just that... COMPLICATED. But it's when we complicate the obvious and label things as complicated when in reality.. we just need to address the simplicity of the matter and take confusion as part of it..
Crap. now I'M getting complicated.
think about love.
there is no formula. there is no right or wrong way about it. it involves your heart AND your head. and nobody can tell you how you know you're in it!
In every dating situation there of course is a LOGICAL way to go about things.. but if relationships were based on logic.. most of them wouldn't work out.. we're human! we make mistakes! and most of the time we have no idea what we're talking about because duuuuh.. "its complicated"!!
Anything that validates taking an equal portion of emotion and logic.. and then isn't afraid to make them lopsided.. is going to be not only complicated.. but straight up on crack.
Meet Jane.
if jane is in a relationship (or in one of the phases of a relationship) where she keeps getting hurt yet couldn't get out of it if she tried..
Her logic tells her.. because James (her dude) doesn't know what he wants.. but knows he wants her.. she needs to walk away.
Her heart tells her.. she wants James.. so she should stay.
Depending on how drunk she is off of her Ben and Jerrys.. she can either.. listen to her head.. or listen to her heart.
There is no wrong answer...
cuz duuh.. ITS COMPLICATED.
It's like when you ask someone what's wrong and they say "Everything"..
no dummy everything isn't wrong! itemize and conquer.
decide what is complicated.. or whats wrong.. and deal with it.
leave the rest ALONE!!! The things right in your life deserve to be left alone.. the simple things DESERVE to be uncomplicated.. don't mix it all together!!
How Jane feels about James is pretty simple.
How James feels about Jane is simple too.
The complicatedness of the situation comes in at.. "so.. i noticed you and Jane are kinda hangin out.. what's the deal with you guys anyway?"
At this point.. they're forced to THINK about how they feel before they're even positive about how they feel about how they feel.
"EVERYTHING IS WRONG."
"ok.. drama queen. define everything.."
"well.. ... uuh.... ........school sucks!"
"ok. so school is wrong. anything else?"
".......... no."
"have a cookie. school will always suck"
or..
"MY. LIFE. IS. OVERRRR.. EVERY SINGLE THING IS WRONG!!"
"i highly doubt that... name 5"
"i ran out of make up!!"
"mmk... solution to solving ALL YOUR LIFE's problems.. get more.
wow. see. im like a genie! "
See my point?.. leave the rest of your life ALONE!
Dont' self diagnose your life as "one that sucks"
don't all the sudden think.."i must be depressed!!! I'm JUST not happy anymore.. my life SUCKS!!"
bro.. life's complicated. YOU control you're happiness!! You'll live! and don't stress.. in the end..none of us get out alive!
Take a minute to uncomplicate your life!! Simplify the things that you can control!! Do more things that you KNOW make you happy!
and the things you can't control?? LET THEM GO! LET those things be complicated.. you'll break your brain trying to solve world peace. Solve YOUR world. Make it peaceful. De-clutter-ize it.. De-complicate it!
Go with the flow... Make decisions and stick with them... don't be afraid to be flexible..and hey.. Stop worrying about the rest of the world!! Take a deeeeeep breath.. You're fine. You're going to be fine.
Soundtrack to my life song(s).. playing at the same time.. complete madness:
"Oops i did it again.." -Britney Spears
"That should be me" -Justin Beiber
Wait wait... did you guys HEAR what JB did for Selena Gomez for V-day?? Home boy bought EVERY FLOWER IN THE STORE and had them delivered to her with a note that said.."every day with you is like valentines day"
I can't wait til he embraces our love and relationship. Baby booooyyy.. i like yellow roses.. cinnamon hearts.. and star gazing. love you. Selena.. answer your front door.. there may or may not be ninja's waiting for you.
peace. love. chocolate.
Until tomorrow!
xox
-Callymon
We belong to the "DTR" generation. We like to define things.. every step of the way.
i recently had to write a paper for one of my classes on the psychology of dating.. i began..
I am a part of the “DTR” generation. We like to complicate love as much as possible. When it comes to relationships, each new day brings a new DTR.. the next more complicated than the previous.. you first have to be “talking”.
Once you get past this stage and you’re comfortable admitting that you’ve been in the same room more than once with the other person... (which in some cases takes a while!).. you move to the "just hanging out" phase (which hopefully soon after turns in to the full blown “hanging out” phase.) From here you teeter and totter between “we’re just talking”, “we’re sort of hanging out”, and “we’ve like, gone on a couple dates but.. it’s nothing serious” for a while until you can FINALLY move into the “UN-exclusively dating” phase.
You would think by this point that you are close to forming some sort of commitment relationship - even on the tiniest scale right? Wrong. You have about 10 phases to go. The time it takes to move from “UN-exclusively dating” to the “sort-of-exclusively dating” / "ya.. i'd probably be upset if they kissed someone else" phase.. all depends on friends and how cute you look together in your tagged pictures on facebook.
When you finally move mountains and get to the “exclusively dating” phase you would think that you are completely committed to one another.. Once again you are wrong. At this stage.. at least one of the people in the relationship has to get the confirmation they need in order to finally take the biggest step in their lives so far............. making the relationship “facebook official”
Once in this phase, declared for all of their old high school friends and weird relatives to see, the relationship can escalate further and hopefully, if they’re lucky, they’ll slowly but surely start moving to the "happily ever after" phase.
No matter what phase you're in.. "it's complicated" describes it waaaaay better than actually telling someone the details of "and then SHE said... and then HE SAID.... and then it was like... WOOOOAHHHHH..!!!.... ya follow me?"
People are so worried about what the rest of the world thinks about their relationship that they hardly address what THEY think about it until they get the universal approval that they're a) not moving too fast.. b)going to make extremely attractive children with this person and c) that she/he feels the same way they do.. and they're defining the "us" factor the same to people they talk to.
Even when talking about random things.. "it's complicated" seems to fit the mold better than a straight answer...
"what are you majoring in..?" "uh.. its complicated" so.. you're undecided? or you invented one?
"What are you doing for your date tonight?" "oh.. uh.. well.. it's complicated".... i promise dinner and a movie.. eeevvveen if you throw bowling in there.. wont throw me off.
"What did you and James talk about??" "man. it's COMPLICATED." alright cool. so you don't wanna tell me.
Right you are!... it's complicated!!!
In every step in our lives.. it's not the fact that something is complicated that screws us up. Sometimes things are just that... COMPLICATED. But it's when we complicate the obvious and label things as complicated when in reality.. we just need to address the simplicity of the matter and take confusion as part of it..
Crap. now I'M getting complicated.
think about love.
there is no formula. there is no right or wrong way about it. it involves your heart AND your head. and nobody can tell you how you know you're in it!
In every dating situation there of course is a LOGICAL way to go about things.. but if relationships were based on logic.. most of them wouldn't work out.. we're human! we make mistakes! and most of the time we have no idea what we're talking about because duuuuh.. "its complicated"!!
Anything that validates taking an equal portion of emotion and logic.. and then isn't afraid to make them lopsided.. is going to be not only complicated.. but straight up on crack.
Meet Jane.
if jane is in a relationship (or in one of the phases of a relationship) where she keeps getting hurt yet couldn't get out of it if she tried..
Her logic tells her.. because James (her dude) doesn't know what he wants.. but knows he wants her.. she needs to walk away.
Her heart tells her.. she wants James.. so she should stay.
Depending on how drunk she is off of her Ben and Jerrys.. she can either.. listen to her head.. or listen to her heart.
There is no wrong answer...
cuz duuh.. ITS COMPLICATED.
It's like when you ask someone what's wrong and they say "Everything"..
no dummy everything isn't wrong! itemize and conquer.
decide what is complicated.. or whats wrong.. and deal with it.
leave the rest ALONE!!! The things right in your life deserve to be left alone.. the simple things DESERVE to be uncomplicated.. don't mix it all together!!
How Jane feels about James is pretty simple.
How James feels about Jane is simple too.
The complicatedness of the situation comes in at.. "so.. i noticed you and Jane are kinda hangin out.. what's the deal with you guys anyway?"
At this point.. they're forced to THINK about how they feel before they're even positive about how they feel about how they feel.
"EVERYTHING IS WRONG."
"ok.. drama queen. define everything.."
"well.. ... uuh.... ........school sucks!"
"ok. so school is wrong. anything else?"
".......... no."
"have a cookie. school will always suck"
or..
"MY. LIFE. IS. OVERRRR.. EVERY SINGLE THING IS WRONG!!"
"i highly doubt that... name 5"
"i ran out of make up!!"
"mmk... solution to solving ALL YOUR LIFE's problems.. get more.
wow. see. im like a genie! "
See my point?.. leave the rest of your life ALONE!
Dont' self diagnose your life as "one that sucks"
don't all the sudden think.."i must be depressed!!! I'm JUST not happy anymore.. my life SUCKS!!"
bro.. life's complicated. YOU control you're happiness!! You'll live! and don't stress.. in the end..none of us get out alive!
Take a minute to uncomplicate your life!! Simplify the things that you can control!! Do more things that you KNOW make you happy!
and the things you can't control?? LET THEM GO! LET those things be complicated.. you'll break your brain trying to solve world peace. Solve YOUR world. Make it peaceful. De-clutter-ize it.. De-complicate it!
Go with the flow... Make decisions and stick with them... don't be afraid to be flexible..and hey.. Stop worrying about the rest of the world!! Take a deeeeeep breath.. You're fine. You're going to be fine.
Soundtrack to my life song(s).. playing at the same time.. complete madness:
"Oops i did it again.." -Britney Spears
"That should be me" -Justin Beiber
Wait wait... did you guys HEAR what JB did for Selena Gomez for V-day?? Home boy bought EVERY FLOWER IN THE STORE and had them delivered to her with a note that said.."every day with you is like valentines day"
I can't wait til he embraces our love and relationship. Baby booooyyy.. i like yellow roses.. cinnamon hearts.. and star gazing. love you. Selena.. answer your front door.. there may or may not be ninja's waiting for you.
peace. love. chocolate.
Until tomorrow!
xox
-Callymon
March 4, 2011
Mcchocolate Chip Cookies...
I love peanut butter on bananas. I wear more mens clothing than i do womens. I can run effectively on 4 hours of sleep. I don't like to cry, and i'm pretty sure my pain tolerance level is higher than it should be.. or at least higher than most people. I hate how big my feet are. I can't walk away from a dare or a challenge. I feel naked without mascara. I can't walk in a straight line. I laugh sort of like a man.. and i have really big nail beds.
The only thing that makes each piece of this puzzle fit together and form something that makes sense (sort of) at the end is me.. big feet and all. Every quark.. every fault.. every guilty pleasure.. every imperfection.. They all make up the recipe of mcchocolate chip cookies. without each 'pinch of salt' the recipe would be incomplete.
Being human... we all have 'tasted' differently at different times in our lives. We've made mistakes.. which we hopefully learned from.. We've even taken the time to change some of our main ingredients. At the times where our cookies pretty much tasted like CRAP we usually had a couple pretty good cooks helpin us out to change the things that we needed to to make us into the lovely desserts we are today.
If you haven't caught on yet. Today's post is all about being comfortable in your own skin.
I'm pretty sure (alright i'm positive) that girls struggle with this more than guys do. It's probably the reason there's some odd cardinal rule about girls hating other girls in general.. where did that even come from? Most likely.. someone watched 'Mean girls' in another country.. thought that's how us 'cool americans act'.. brought it on their study abroad here.. and because they were 'cool and european' we followed their lead.. of generally just hating our own species.
commonnnn now.. no.
Duh. it obviously originated in the crap-hole of a place that every human being has to pass through.... high school.
There are times that feeling good being you isn't just hard.. it seems impossible.
The first one i'm gonna address is High school.
The thing that sucks about high school is that, in most people's lives.. its the time where they have NO IDEA who they are. NO IDEA what they stand for or what they want to do with their lives.. and they're surrounded by hundreds of other clueless teenagers to help make it more confusing that it should be. Where else could 2 people hate each other.. pretend to like each other.. and have no idea why they're doing either..?
If you are the same person as you were in high school either kudos to you for being such a mature human being back then.. or shame on you.. you drama queen.. for never changing.
High school is a time where insecure people feed off the insecurities of others. and yet.. it's one of the most influential times in our lives.
We look at everyone's dessert without ever trying it.. assuming it must be a certain way because of who they associate themselves with or what sports they play or how they do their hair. When in reality.. everyone is just trying to fit in.
The other thing that sucks about high school, is that in your high school years you develop the reputation that you will most likely carry for the rest of your life. "ohh that's that McCall girl.. i knew her in high school and...."
you will spend the rest of forever trying to live down lapses of judgement when you were 16 and thought streaking in inappropriate places was a good idea and letting 6 billion people that you didn't know come and dance on each other in your basement was the perfect idea of a party....
I still hear moms talk about people they knew in high school as "well... back in high school.." .. and hey i'm not sayin it's their fault.. that's the only time they knew them. But i challenge all of you to be comfortable enough with YOURSELF to give people second chances.. especially those people you only knew in high school.
My confession.. i wasn't the person i wanted to be in high school. If you knew me back then i'm sorry. After an earth quake of a break up i became insecure and didn't handle it in the best ways.. The real McCall that occasionally showed through is now not afraid to be who she is. I sincerely apologize if you were ever hurt by something i did or said in those years.
The second thing i'm going to address.. obviously has to do with boys.
Because we're all in a dating frenzy (admit it.. no you are not exempt from this) the vulnerability level in all of us raises like 12 points..
"does he like me..?" "does he think i'm pretty..?" "does she see my wash board abs that i've been working on for 6 years..?" "does he think my butt is big..?" "does he like her better than me..?"
because of the increase in vulnerability.. we become susceptible to the idea of changing ourselves to please someone else.
"if i was more like her.. he would like me more.."
although this may be true.. we have to look at it in a different light.
If you read my blog (you should..), take the challenge in the last post to become the very best YOU that you can be. Find yourself. Find out the kind of person that YOU want to be.
I recently had an experience where i lived, for the first time, COMPLETELY on my own. I lived in a place where i knew a handful of people within 3000 miles of my apartment. i didn't have room mates. i didn't have someone watching my every move.
During this time.. i dated myself. i got to know myself. and i BECAME myself.
i found out... that i like silence. ( i know right.. loud obnoxious mccall..?) That even when i have the time.. i like to shower rather than take a bath. i found out that i'm very independent and i CAN do things on my own but i absolutely want someone to take care of me.
i found out that i enjoy making other people happy.. it truly makes ME happy. That when i get dressed up.. i feel better about myself. That i like going to the grocery store. I'm happier when i'm productive every day.. but there's nothing i love more than snuggle movie time. And that i'm a waaaay bigger nerd than i thought.
Although i think my recipe is still being modified and perfected.. and i'm still continually becoming the woman i want to be.. the result will remain as mcchocolate chip cookies.. it's not gonna all of the sudden change to banana pancakes because someone wasn't in the mood for some bomb diggity cookies.
Become the best YOU that you can be.. and after that decide who fits into your life.
If you like you.. and you are truly the very best you that you can be..who cares if the guy you like is taking other girls out. who cares if you don't get a job because "you just didn't fit"... and who CARES if other people judge you for who you are!! Don't change!! you are the only you.
Take the time to decide for yourself.. chocolate or vanilla.. shaken or stirred.. prada or gucci.. or if you live in my world.. forever 21 or forever 21..
In "My Best Friends Wedding" Jewels and Kimmie have a similar conversation. Jewels is talking about Michael, Kimmie's fiance (who she is secretly in love with), and how he sits down at a restaurant and orders creme brule.. what could be better right? It's the opitome of desserts.. But suddenly while he's sitting there.. he changes his mind. He doesn't WANT creme brule.. he wants JELLO! Not because Jello is better than creme brule.. but because now.. he feels like JELLO! cuz jello is comfortable!! Kimmie of course breaks down at cries.."i can be jello!!! i have to be jello!!!" Jewels only comes back with, "No! creme brule could NEVER be jello.. its just not possible!"
BE creme brule... BE jello.. or heck.. BE mcchocolate chip cookies! don't be a combination. that would just be gross.
Soundtrack to my life song : "Who are you when I'm not Lookin" - Blake Shelton
Take one down.. pass it around.. NEEXXTTT..
other things on my mind..
Hot chocolate.. the only thing good about the winter.
Spring.. if it could hurry up that would be fabulous
Bear lake.. This summer.. you wont be seeing me anywhere else
Glitter toes.. i realllly need to get mine redone
and Room mates.. the best thing in a young girls life.. excellent room mates. mine are incredible.. i don't know how i got so lucky!
Challenge..
Take the time to appreciate the small miracles that happen every single day.. and the little things that make life more enjoyable..
like today for instance.. SUNSHINE!!!!! .. Vent sessions with people you haven't talked to in YEARS.. really cold ice water.. hugging til you feel silly for holding on so long.. chocolate pudding..
Second challenge...
take yourself on a date. wine and dine yourself. and get to know the person that lives inside of you. have a "run away bride experience" Try every. single. way. of preparing eggs.. and decide what YOU like best..
i'm not saying there's not room for improvement.. but once you decide the kind of dessert you're going to be.. every person and experience that comes in and out of your life will be perfecting the recipe.. milk chocolate vs semi sweet.. instead of telling you your cookies suck.. and they want cake.
until tomorrow!
xoxo
-Callymon
The only thing that makes each piece of this puzzle fit together and form something that makes sense (sort of) at the end is me.. big feet and all. Every quark.. every fault.. every guilty pleasure.. every imperfection.. They all make up the recipe of mcchocolate chip cookies. without each 'pinch of salt' the recipe would be incomplete.
Being human... we all have 'tasted' differently at different times in our lives. We've made mistakes.. which we hopefully learned from.. We've even taken the time to change some of our main ingredients. At the times where our cookies pretty much tasted like CRAP we usually had a couple pretty good cooks helpin us out to change the things that we needed to to make us into the lovely desserts we are today.
If you haven't caught on yet. Today's post is all about being comfortable in your own skin.
I'm pretty sure (alright i'm positive) that girls struggle with this more than guys do. It's probably the reason there's some odd cardinal rule about girls hating other girls in general.. where did that even come from? Most likely.. someone watched 'Mean girls' in another country.. thought that's how us 'cool americans act'.. brought it on their study abroad here.. and because they were 'cool and european' we followed their lead.. of generally just hating our own species.
commonnnn now.. no.
Duh. it obviously originated in the crap-hole of a place that every human being has to pass through.... high school.
There are times that feeling good being you isn't just hard.. it seems impossible.
The first one i'm gonna address is High school.
The thing that sucks about high school is that, in most people's lives.. its the time where they have NO IDEA who they are. NO IDEA what they stand for or what they want to do with their lives.. and they're surrounded by hundreds of other clueless teenagers to help make it more confusing that it should be. Where else could 2 people hate each other.. pretend to like each other.. and have no idea why they're doing either..?
If you are the same person as you were in high school either kudos to you for being such a mature human being back then.. or shame on you.. you drama queen.. for never changing.
High school is a time where insecure people feed off the insecurities of others. and yet.. it's one of the most influential times in our lives.
We look at everyone's dessert without ever trying it.. assuming it must be a certain way because of who they associate themselves with or what sports they play or how they do their hair. When in reality.. everyone is just trying to fit in.
The other thing that sucks about high school, is that in your high school years you develop the reputation that you will most likely carry for the rest of your life. "ohh that's that McCall girl.. i knew her in high school and...."
you will spend the rest of forever trying to live down lapses of judgement when you were 16 and thought streaking in inappropriate places was a good idea and letting 6 billion people that you didn't know come and dance on each other in your basement was the perfect idea of a party....
I still hear moms talk about people they knew in high school as "well... back in high school.." .. and hey i'm not sayin it's their fault.. that's the only time they knew them. But i challenge all of you to be comfortable enough with YOURSELF to give people second chances.. especially those people you only knew in high school.
My confession.. i wasn't the person i wanted to be in high school. If you knew me back then i'm sorry. After an earth quake of a break up i became insecure and didn't handle it in the best ways.. The real McCall that occasionally showed through is now not afraid to be who she is. I sincerely apologize if you were ever hurt by something i did or said in those years.
The second thing i'm going to address.. obviously has to do with boys.
Because we're all in a dating frenzy (admit it.. no you are not exempt from this) the vulnerability level in all of us raises like 12 points..
"does he like me..?" "does he think i'm pretty..?" "does she see my wash board abs that i've been working on for 6 years..?" "does he think my butt is big..?" "does he like her better than me..?"
because of the increase in vulnerability.. we become susceptible to the idea of changing ourselves to please someone else.
"if i was more like her.. he would like me more.."
although this may be true.. we have to look at it in a different light.
If you read my blog (you should..), take the challenge in the last post to become the very best YOU that you can be. Find yourself. Find out the kind of person that YOU want to be.
I recently had an experience where i lived, for the first time, COMPLETELY on my own. I lived in a place where i knew a handful of people within 3000 miles of my apartment. i didn't have room mates. i didn't have someone watching my every move.
During this time.. i dated myself. i got to know myself. and i BECAME myself.
i found out... that i like silence. ( i know right.. loud obnoxious mccall..?) That even when i have the time.. i like to shower rather than take a bath. i found out that i'm very independent and i CAN do things on my own but i absolutely want someone to take care of me.
i found out that i enjoy making other people happy.. it truly makes ME happy. That when i get dressed up.. i feel better about myself. That i like going to the grocery store. I'm happier when i'm productive every day.. but there's nothing i love more than snuggle movie time. And that i'm a waaaay bigger nerd than i thought.
Although i think my recipe is still being modified and perfected.. and i'm still continually becoming the woman i want to be.. the result will remain as mcchocolate chip cookies.. it's not gonna all of the sudden change to banana pancakes because someone wasn't in the mood for some bomb diggity cookies.
Become the best YOU that you can be.. and after that decide who fits into your life.
If you like you.. and you are truly the very best you that you can be..who cares if the guy you like is taking other girls out. who cares if you don't get a job because "you just didn't fit"... and who CARES if other people judge you for who you are!! Don't change!! you are the only you.
Take the time to decide for yourself.. chocolate or vanilla.. shaken or stirred.. prada or gucci.. or if you live in my world.. forever 21 or forever 21..
In "My Best Friends Wedding" Jewels and Kimmie have a similar conversation. Jewels is talking about Michael, Kimmie's fiance (who she is secretly in love with), and how he sits down at a restaurant and orders creme brule.. what could be better right? It's the opitome of desserts.. But suddenly while he's sitting there.. he changes his mind. He doesn't WANT creme brule.. he wants JELLO! Not because Jello is better than creme brule.. but because now.. he feels like JELLO! cuz jello is comfortable!! Kimmie of course breaks down at cries.."i can be jello!!! i have to be jello!!!" Jewels only comes back with, "No! creme brule could NEVER be jello.. its just not possible!"
BE creme brule... BE jello.. or heck.. BE mcchocolate chip cookies! don't be a combination. that would just be gross.
Soundtrack to my life song : "Who are you when I'm not Lookin" - Blake Shelton
Take one down.. pass it around.. NEEXXTTT..
other things on my mind..
Hot chocolate.. the only thing good about the winter.
Spring.. if it could hurry up that would be fabulous
Bear lake.. This summer.. you wont be seeing me anywhere else
Glitter toes.. i realllly need to get mine redone
and Room mates.. the best thing in a young girls life.. excellent room mates. mine are incredible.. i don't know how i got so lucky!
Challenge..
Take the time to appreciate the small miracles that happen every single day.. and the little things that make life more enjoyable..
like today for instance.. SUNSHINE!!!!! .. Vent sessions with people you haven't talked to in YEARS.. really cold ice water.. hugging til you feel silly for holding on so long.. chocolate pudding..
Second challenge...
take yourself on a date. wine and dine yourself. and get to know the person that lives inside of you. have a "run away bride experience" Try every. single. way. of preparing eggs.. and decide what YOU like best..
i'm not saying there's not room for improvement.. but once you decide the kind of dessert you're going to be.. every person and experience that comes in and out of your life will be perfecting the recipe.. milk chocolate vs semi sweet.. instead of telling you your cookies suck.. and they want cake.
until tomorrow!
xoxo
-Callymon
March 2, 2011
the new 1 to 10..
One of my favorite couples in the world, Emma and Steve, have inspired me today.
In the years before they got married they dated on and off and on and off and on.. and off..
it started when they were 12.. and went up until the day they got married. (this isn't one of those times i throw out a number like 8.. or 50 and expect you to follow my weird humor.. they really started when they were 12.)
During one of these off times... Steve's dad developed a rating system for all the other girls steve would date.. Every time steve would find a new girlfriend he would get asked the same question... "on a scale of 1 to Emma.. how is she?"
"She's beautiful mom and dad i can't wait for you to me-" "Steve... on a scale of 1 to Emma.. how beautiful is she really??"
"She's sweet.. she's kind.. i think she's the o-" "now steve... on a scale of 1 to Emma.. how good of a person is she?"
"good kisser? 1 to Emma?"
"Personality? pshh.. 1 to Emma...?"
Emma became the standard that no girl would ever live up to. She was the new 10.. even a 10 couldn't compare on the 1 to Emma scale.. it looked like a 5 at best.
Lucky for Steve.. him and Emma got married so no poor girl had to go home with him and hear Steve's dad mumble under his breath.. "psh.. coulda been Emma.."
We all have an "Emma" in our lives that we subconsciously compare every person and ever relationship to.. and even when everything is perfect the only thing we can find wrong with someone is that they're not someone else.
The inspiration didn't come from realizing that i'm screwed into thinking that no one will ever be good enough just because they're not my "Emma".. (even though that thought is really depressing too)..
it came from realizing that every single one of us is up against an Emma. I HOPE that some guy somewhere is using the 1 to McCall scale. And i now realize that its up to ME to make the scale freakin hard to compare to!
Every guy is gonna bring an Emma into a relationship.. and unless the Mccall is fantastic she probably doesn't stand a dang chance.
so. i've decided to make some resolutions. who needs a new year right?
In one of my classes i'm studying the significance of self esteem in relationships. If someone is secure then their relationship is more likely to succeed.
Whether you're in a relationship or not.. i believe that before you can lose yourself in someone else.. you first have to find yourself.
When i saw the movie "Eat. Pray. Love." i literally took notes. (which is weird cuz i'm a girl who likes her movies).. her experience of finding herself was inspirational.. and so was the way she downed like 5 pizzas in 10 minutes. you go julia roberts.
so... since i can't travel to india.. and italy.. or even like.. california..
i'm gonna have to find myself right here.
The first step of this is make sure that i'm challenging myself.. in every area of my life.
body. mind. spirit. facebook addiction.
I'm gonna do something every day to make sure i'm better today than i was yesterday..
bloggers honor.
Hey. i'm young. im in college. i'm single.. i'm.. young... it's the time for being selfish..
not in the -not doing anything for anyone else and thinking only of myself- kind of selfish.. but the - make myself the best me i can be and making sure that i got my crap together - kind of selfish.
It starts with being honest with yourself.. the only place in which a person can grow from is where he or she is. so. i recognize that 1 to candice swinepool i'm slackin on my ab ripper. body. done.
1 to Elle Woods i'm lackin on my studying.. (except for recognizing that exercising gives you endorphins.. endorphins make you happy.. and happy people just don't kill their husbands.. they just dont.)
For spirit.. I'm gonna go on a 1 to Nikola Clark scale.. home girl is amazing. and she cleans up after me more than she should. so. instead of having to re-clean my room after every time i get dressed because i like to change 25 times... i'm gonna work on keeping it clean.. for at least 2 days at a time. AND. i gotta get all my stinkin laundry done.
for spirit as far as spiritual.. i'll go on 1 to 1328 scale.. i live with the relief society presidency.. and my sisters are incredible.
i'm' gonna up my scripture study 20 more minutes every day.
and facebook addiction... lets be honest this isn't goin anywhere..
i want to be able to be put on the map when it comes to 1 to Jennifer Aniston. cuz lets be honest. after seeing "just go with it"... she is the ultimate. i'm obsessed with her.
so whether i paint my nails.. meditate.. read my scriptures extra.. or whip out my p90x ab ripper.. i am determined to make myself better every single day.. so that i can make the 1 to McCall scale better than like a 1-5.
as much as i want to continue writing i have a paper to write... an assignment to start.. and complete.. 4 chapters to read.. and im still on fb and blogging.. you SEE why i need to kick the addiction!!!! log off mccall... log OFF! until tomorrow..
peace. love. justin beiber.
xoxo
-Callymon
In the years before they got married they dated on and off and on and off and on.. and off..
it started when they were 12.. and went up until the day they got married. (this isn't one of those times i throw out a number like 8.. or 50 and expect you to follow my weird humor.. they really started when they were 12.)
During one of these off times... Steve's dad developed a rating system for all the other girls steve would date.. Every time steve would find a new girlfriend he would get asked the same question... "on a scale of 1 to Emma.. how is she?"
"She's beautiful mom and dad i can't wait for you to me-" "Steve... on a scale of 1 to Emma.. how beautiful is she really??"
"She's sweet.. she's kind.. i think she's the o-" "now steve... on a scale of 1 to Emma.. how good of a person is she?"
"good kisser? 1 to Emma?"
"Personality? pshh.. 1 to Emma...?"
Emma became the standard that no girl would ever live up to. She was the new 10.. even a 10 couldn't compare on the 1 to Emma scale.. it looked like a 5 at best.
Lucky for Steve.. him and Emma got married so no poor girl had to go home with him and hear Steve's dad mumble under his breath.. "psh.. coulda been Emma.."
We all have an "Emma" in our lives that we subconsciously compare every person and ever relationship to.. and even when everything is perfect the only thing we can find wrong with someone is that they're not someone else.
The inspiration didn't come from realizing that i'm screwed into thinking that no one will ever be good enough just because they're not my "Emma".. (even though that thought is really depressing too)..
it came from realizing that every single one of us is up against an Emma. I HOPE that some guy somewhere is using the 1 to McCall scale. And i now realize that its up to ME to make the scale freakin hard to compare to!
Every guy is gonna bring an Emma into a relationship.. and unless the Mccall is fantastic she probably doesn't stand a dang chance.
so. i've decided to make some resolutions. who needs a new year right?
In one of my classes i'm studying the significance of self esteem in relationships. If someone is secure then their relationship is more likely to succeed.
Whether you're in a relationship or not.. i believe that before you can lose yourself in someone else.. you first have to find yourself.
When i saw the movie "Eat. Pray. Love." i literally took notes. (which is weird cuz i'm a girl who likes her movies).. her experience of finding herself was inspirational.. and so was the way she downed like 5 pizzas in 10 minutes. you go julia roberts.
so... since i can't travel to india.. and italy.. or even like.. california..
i'm gonna have to find myself right here.
The first step of this is make sure that i'm challenging myself.. in every area of my life.
body. mind. spirit. facebook addiction.
I'm gonna do something every day to make sure i'm better today than i was yesterday..
bloggers honor.
Hey. i'm young. im in college. i'm single.. i'm.. young... it's the time for being selfish..
not in the -not doing anything for anyone else and thinking only of myself- kind of selfish.. but the - make myself the best me i can be and making sure that i got my crap together - kind of selfish.
It starts with being honest with yourself.. the only place in which a person can grow from is where he or she is. so. i recognize that 1 to candice swinepool i'm slackin on my ab ripper. body. done.
1 to Elle Woods i'm lackin on my studying.. (except for recognizing that exercising gives you endorphins.. endorphins make you happy.. and happy people just don't kill their husbands.. they just dont.)
For spirit.. I'm gonna go on a 1 to Nikola Clark scale.. home girl is amazing. and she cleans up after me more than she should. so. instead of having to re-clean my room after every time i get dressed because i like to change 25 times... i'm gonna work on keeping it clean.. for at least 2 days at a time. AND. i gotta get all my stinkin laundry done.
for spirit as far as spiritual.. i'll go on 1 to 1328 scale.. i live with the relief society presidency.. and my sisters are incredible.
i'm' gonna up my scripture study 20 more minutes every day.
and facebook addiction... lets be honest this isn't goin anywhere..
i want to be able to be put on the map when it comes to 1 to Jennifer Aniston. cuz lets be honest. after seeing "just go with it"... she is the ultimate. i'm obsessed with her.
so whether i paint my nails.. meditate.. read my scriptures extra.. or whip out my p90x ab ripper.. i am determined to make myself better every single day.. so that i can make the 1 to McCall scale better than like a 1-5.
as much as i want to continue writing i have a paper to write... an assignment to start.. and complete.. 4 chapters to read.. and im still on fb and blogging.. you SEE why i need to kick the addiction!!!! log off mccall... log OFF! until tomorrow..
peace. love. justin beiber.
xoxo
-Callymon
March 1, 2011
Romeo and Juliet.. sittin in a tree... k-i-s-s-i-n-g
we all can think back and remember the biggest lip-locking moments of our lives.
first kiss.. first boyfriend kiss.. first good kiss.. first reallllly bad kiss.. favorite kiss.. you're "you may kiss the bride moment"..
if you're like me.. in this reminiscing moment there's a whirlwind of favorite colognes.. giggly butterflies.. stories of recounting every second to your best friends.. and the second of thinking i'm super pathetic for remembering what i was wearing..
according to old movies... new movies.. and the latest episode of Gossip Girl.. these puckering times can be life changing.. earth shaking.. and can really make the world stop for that split second.
every time i see one of these moments.. i have to think.. is that really how it happens? In one second.. with one kiss.. are you struck by lightning, given visions of sugar plumbs, and all the sudden hear your favorite Celine Dion ballad in the background? As the hopeless romantic.. i'm going to say YES! The "Never Been Kissed" moment (i'm referring to the movie.. not the VL club) where she's standing on the pitchers mound awaiting her prince charming/ fake teacher to come out and kiss her in front of everyone proving his love for her. Ya.. it's a movie.. so clearly cheesy music is playing in the background.. but if it were real life.. i believe the cheesy music is like the bell in 'The Polar Express' .. those who believe.. hear it!!
The moment of "we should kiss to see if there is anything between us.. just one kiss.. and then we can walk away.." moment that Blair and Dan share on Episode 14 of GG. In that one moment and one kiss.. can they KNOW? Can it really be that simple?
i believe that we live in a world of analysis. The paralysis of analysis. We think so much about the way that we feel that we dont even know if what we're feeling is what we're feeling! (go decode THAT with a psych book and a double shot of rootbeer on the rocks) Could we all have these fairy tale moments if we weren't so caught up in .. "how do i feel.. wait.. wait.. my stomach growled.. that's a sign.. and he blinked.. LIKE 4 TIMES!!! he totally wasn't into it.. which obviously means that i TOTALLY wasn't into it even more than he wasn't!.. so i'll peg him as just a good kisser.. the fireworks i saw were clearly a result of me being dehydrated.. so we can leave tonight and go on with our lives separately..."
We get to these points and FREAK OUT! so worried of what happens when the kiss ends.. the "what now" moment..
In fairy tales you never see the grand kiss and then Princess Cupcake and Prince Gummybear pull away from each other and go.. " so.. uh.. i'll like... call you?" and then go home and analyze their compatibility and what their friends will think and how their children would look and if they have FP (fat potential) or not and what their mother looks like and how well they're going to age and if they want the same kind of wallpaper as the other and how their names sound meshed.. (although common... we all knew that Julia Goolia wasn't gonna work out.. that was a give in)
In these fairy tales you see them go with the flow.. see the fireworks.. EMBRACE the fireworks.. and duuh.. live happily ever after!
When we have these earth shattering kisses.. first off go home and blog about them so that us HR's (hopeless romantics) can grab a pint of Ben and Jerry's and live vicariously through your fireworks.. and second take them like the people in the movies do! Explore the butterflies going crazy in your stomach! You never know when your life could change for ever for the better because of ONE KISS. hey.. meg ryan does it!
You are all sitting here thinking of not a couple names.. not a couple different summers.. but ONE. EXACT. PARTICULAR FACE.. and one EXACT particular moment.. that goes with one EXACT particular feeling! The exact moment where you knew/know that you're in LOVE! because of a kiss!
the saying.. "fall in love" isn't referring to a Matrix move.. or a repelling expedition.. its talking about you walking around a construction zone in the dark in heels and neglecting to see the man hole in front of you and SPLAT! you don't lightly descend to the bottom.. you FALL! No i'm not saying that you have to fall the first time you kiss someone.. or the first time you make eye contact.. there can be a very long (or short if you live in provo) walk around this construction zone exploring it and stepping in potholes.. but when all of the sudden you know.. you see FIREWORKS! do. NOT.. i repeat. do N.O.T. IGNORE THEM!! This isn't stadium of fire.. you don't know how many sets of backup fireworks you got.. know what i mean?
These amazing moments in our own lives are what make these movies so magical! If it never happened.. we'd watch them and go... what the heck? .. THAT was weird..
NO! We can all recall the moments that define our lives. sometimes the movies make them cheesier (guys take note.. girls like cheesy.. make it as cheesy as possible..) but all they're doing is enhancing our own experiences.
Someone in the life of one of the writers of "A cinderella story" HAD to have an experience where in front of everyone they knew some boy ran up.. said something cheesy about rain.. and then BAM! laid it on her. The only difference is... when it REALLY happened.. people probably threw things at them.
Guys... i'm gonna help you out here.. girls.. you can "aaaww" along with me..
The movies that have changed a girl's view of the perfect kiss forever...
- The notebook: this movie has 3 for me..
- the first kiss you see.. where she jumps on him.. they kiss.. and people literally applaud.
- The 'shove the ice cream in his face and lick it off kiss'
- and duh.... let me set the scene for this one..
"why didn't you write me? WHY!.. it wasn't OVER FOR ME!" "i wrote you 365 letters.... i wrote you every day for a year!! it wasn't over... IT STILL ISN'T OVER.." BAM!
the details for the dude to pay attention to here... he grabs her face and makes it happen! wooo..
now guys.. i wouldn't take this approach until you're SURE that the feeling is mutual.. you're POSITIVE that she wants you to kiss her.. cuz if not.. you about to get a slappin...
observe... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lS2BpORASX0
- Mr. and Mrs. Smith: they have guns pointing at each other's faces.. he looks into her eyes and he's like.. "i can't do it.. if you want the shot take it.." then he knocks the gun out of her hand... once again.. grabs her face and BAM!
- Ever After: when they're sitting at the fire and she says, "i'm sorry.. my mouth has run away with me again.." and he says, "you're mouth is what has me so mesmerized.." then she realizes he's going to kiss her.. sits there a minute and he makes it happen.
second: he comes to rescue her!!!
observe : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RhFuwvTXC8
- A cinderella story: he runs out of a football game.. common now. girls. in 3 part harmony now.. aawwwww
observe: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIPMtp3Vc5w
-uh.. spiderman.. duuh.. enough said.
- Titanic.. right after the "flying together" moment on the bow of the ship.. it begins EVERYTHING!
observe..... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MDPeL8lpzo
so moral of this part of this story.. guys, girls like cheesy stuff. anything that can make our lives seem like its out of a movie we love.. will get you SERIOUS brownie points!
Don't extinguish the spark on the fuse of your fireworks.. and CERTAINLY don't deny seeing them!!
Love is scary.. and so is kissing someone for the first time.. (what if they suck at it right?!)
but walk the construction sight in the dark.. its super adventurous!
So.. grab some chapstick.. some altoids.. and a cheesy song for the soundtrack to YOUR life.. and make some magic happen!
xoxo
-Callymon
first kiss.. first boyfriend kiss.. first good kiss.. first reallllly bad kiss.. favorite kiss.. you're "you may kiss the bride moment"..
if you're like me.. in this reminiscing moment there's a whirlwind of favorite colognes.. giggly butterflies.. stories of recounting every second to your best friends.. and the second of thinking i'm super pathetic for remembering what i was wearing..
according to old movies... new movies.. and the latest episode of Gossip Girl.. these puckering times can be life changing.. earth shaking.. and can really make the world stop for that split second.
every time i see one of these moments.. i have to think.. is that really how it happens? In one second.. with one kiss.. are you struck by lightning, given visions of sugar plumbs, and all the sudden hear your favorite Celine Dion ballad in the background? As the hopeless romantic.. i'm going to say YES! The "Never Been Kissed" moment (i'm referring to the movie.. not the VL club) where she's standing on the pitchers mound awaiting her prince charming/ fake teacher to come out and kiss her in front of everyone proving his love for her. Ya.. it's a movie.. so clearly cheesy music is playing in the background.. but if it were real life.. i believe the cheesy music is like the bell in 'The Polar Express' .. those who believe.. hear it!!
The moment of "we should kiss to see if there is anything between us.. just one kiss.. and then we can walk away.." moment that Blair and Dan share on Episode 14 of GG. In that one moment and one kiss.. can they KNOW? Can it really be that simple?
i believe that we live in a world of analysis. The paralysis of analysis. We think so much about the way that we feel that we dont even know if what we're feeling is what we're feeling! (go decode THAT with a psych book and a double shot of rootbeer on the rocks) Could we all have these fairy tale moments if we weren't so caught up in .. "how do i feel.. wait.. wait.. my stomach growled.. that's a sign.. and he blinked.. LIKE 4 TIMES!!! he totally wasn't into it.. which obviously means that i TOTALLY wasn't into it even more than he wasn't!.. so i'll peg him as just a good kisser.. the fireworks i saw were clearly a result of me being dehydrated.. so we can leave tonight and go on with our lives separately..."
We get to these points and FREAK OUT! so worried of what happens when the kiss ends.. the "what now" moment..
In fairy tales you never see the grand kiss and then Princess Cupcake and Prince Gummybear pull away from each other and go.. " so.. uh.. i'll like... call you?" and then go home and analyze their compatibility and what their friends will think and how their children would look and if they have FP (fat potential) or not and what their mother looks like and how well they're going to age and if they want the same kind of wallpaper as the other and how their names sound meshed.. (although common... we all knew that Julia Goolia wasn't gonna work out.. that was a give in)
In these fairy tales you see them go with the flow.. see the fireworks.. EMBRACE the fireworks.. and duuh.. live happily ever after!
When we have these earth shattering kisses.. first off go home and blog about them so that us HR's (hopeless romantics) can grab a pint of Ben and Jerry's and live vicariously through your fireworks.. and second take them like the people in the movies do! Explore the butterflies going crazy in your stomach! You never know when your life could change for ever for the better because of ONE KISS. hey.. meg ryan does it!
You are all sitting here thinking of not a couple names.. not a couple different summers.. but ONE. EXACT. PARTICULAR FACE.. and one EXACT particular moment.. that goes with one EXACT particular feeling! The exact moment where you knew/know that you're in LOVE! because of a kiss!
the saying.. "fall in love" isn't referring to a Matrix move.. or a repelling expedition.. its talking about you walking around a construction zone in the dark in heels and neglecting to see the man hole in front of you and SPLAT! you don't lightly descend to the bottom.. you FALL! No i'm not saying that you have to fall the first time you kiss someone.. or the first time you make eye contact.. there can be a very long (or short if you live in provo) walk around this construction zone exploring it and stepping in potholes.. but when all of the sudden you know.. you see FIREWORKS! do. NOT.. i repeat. do N.O.T. IGNORE THEM!! This isn't stadium of fire.. you don't know how many sets of backup fireworks you got.. know what i mean?
These amazing moments in our own lives are what make these movies so magical! If it never happened.. we'd watch them and go... what the heck? .. THAT was weird..
NO! We can all recall the moments that define our lives. sometimes the movies make them cheesier (guys take note.. girls like cheesy.. make it as cheesy as possible..) but all they're doing is enhancing our own experiences.
Someone in the life of one of the writers of "A cinderella story" HAD to have an experience where in front of everyone they knew some boy ran up.. said something cheesy about rain.. and then BAM! laid it on her. The only difference is... when it REALLY happened.. people probably threw things at them.
Guys... i'm gonna help you out here.. girls.. you can "aaaww" along with me..
The movies that have changed a girl's view of the perfect kiss forever...
- The notebook: this movie has 3 for me..
- the first kiss you see.. where she jumps on him.. they kiss.. and people literally applaud.
- The 'shove the ice cream in his face and lick it off kiss'
- and duh.... let me set the scene for this one..
"why didn't you write me? WHY!.. it wasn't OVER FOR ME!" "i wrote you 365 letters.... i wrote you every day for a year!! it wasn't over... IT STILL ISN'T OVER.." BAM!
the details for the dude to pay attention to here... he grabs her face and makes it happen! wooo..
now guys.. i wouldn't take this approach until you're SURE that the feeling is mutual.. you're POSITIVE that she wants you to kiss her.. cuz if not.. you about to get a slappin...
observe... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lS2BpORASX0
- Mr. and Mrs. Smith: they have guns pointing at each other's faces.. he looks into her eyes and he's like.. "i can't do it.. if you want the shot take it.." then he knocks the gun out of her hand... once again.. grabs her face and BAM!
- Ever After: when they're sitting at the fire and she says, "i'm sorry.. my mouth has run away with me again.." and he says, "you're mouth is what has me so mesmerized.." then she realizes he's going to kiss her.. sits there a minute and he makes it happen.
second: he comes to rescue her!!!
observe : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RhFuwvTXC8
- A cinderella story: he runs out of a football game.. common now. girls. in 3 part harmony now.. aawwwww
observe: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIPMtp3Vc5w
-uh.. spiderman.. duuh.. enough said.
- Titanic.. right after the "flying together" moment on the bow of the ship.. it begins EVERYTHING!
observe..... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8MDPeL8lpzo
so moral of this part of this story.. guys, girls like cheesy stuff. anything that can make our lives seem like its out of a movie we love.. will get you SERIOUS brownie points!
Don't extinguish the spark on the fuse of your fireworks.. and CERTAINLY don't deny seeing them!!
Love is scary.. and so is kissing someone for the first time.. (what if they suck at it right?!)
but walk the construction sight in the dark.. its super adventurous!
So.. grab some chapstick.. some altoids.. and a cheesy song for the soundtrack to YOUR life.. and make some magic happen!
xoxo
-Callymon
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