It's pretty safe to say we're all human.
None of us are perfect.. and with our imperfections come different levels of tolerance for other people's imperfections.
If we were perfect.. no one would be able to judge us.. or i guess they could TRY but.. chances are.. they wouldn't find anything wrong with us. If we were perfect we could then look to another and say.. i don't like this about you because.. obviously you're not perfect like i am.. so you should change it.
The Perfect person could take it upon themselves to set a standard list of pet peeves. A list of things that are ALLOWED to bug other people.
Lucky for us... this list is WAAAAAAY TOO LONG! because most people in the world... take it upon themselves to be this.. one perfect person.
I don't like it when girls act dumber than they are because they think it's attractive.. i enjoy being and feeling like an intelligent human being.. i think they should enjoy acting like they have a brain.
I don't like that guys encourage this bimbo-ness. cuz then girls think it's sexy.. and it's retarded.
I cringe when people pop their necks.. but think it's kinda sexy when guys pop their knuckles.
I hate it when people think they know me.. or attempt to explain me to other people like they're an expert.. cuz.. homie.. you don't know me. (although chances are you just might through this blog..)
I hate it when i'm with a girl that will talk crap on her best friend.... if you're talking about your BFF this way.. what the heck are you saying about me as soon as i walk away?! Be loyal to those who aren't present! have the back of someone who can't have their own! ESPECIALLY when it's your best friend! the closer you get to someone.. doesn't entitle you to talk as much heat on them as you want!
Most pet peeves shouldn't even COUNT as peeves... because they are only directed at hm.. ONE PERSON. you hate it when that ONE PERSON does this.. or that..
This happens a lot in dating.
You let yourself get suuuper bugged over stuuuupid things.. and sometimes not so stupid things...
A couple months ago my friend Abby was dating these 2 guys.. playa playa i know..
One of them.. Ron.. was an amazingly fantastic guy! He. was. a. catch.
he was good to her.. attractive... they went on fun dates.. he was funny..he was in love with her.. he had it all together.
After about a month of dating Won Won.. he called her HUN.
"Hun.. what are you doin?" "lets go hun.."
and oooooooooh was she buuuugggggeeeeddd..
in 5.2 seconds it went from.. 'i could totally see this going somewhere..' to 'DEATH AND PAIN TO WON WON!!'
it just grossed her out in every way shape and form.
... understandable right..?
no. she's on crack.
cuz the other guy she was hanging out with and dating.. named Winston.. called her hun all the time.
He was more of the bad boy... attractive.. rode motorcycles.. they went on fun dates.. he was in love with her.. they saw each other literally every single day... he had it all together too..
Winston called her hun.. babe.. baby.. all of the above.. and it never bugged her! she thought it was cute when he did it! She would even call him hun back!
I have another friend in the same kind of situation..
My friend Samantha has this HUGE pet peeve about guys calling her babe..
She had a boyfriend in high school a thousand years ago that called her babe.. she's still traumatized by it.. soooo... every time a guy calls her babe.. he gets kicked to the curb cuz she JUST can't get over it!!!
The trouble that comes from being so dang bugged about everything.. is that in a relationship... there are 2 different people involved... unless of course you fit the tool mold.. cuz we know they all love themselves.
With these 2 different people.. they form ONE relationship.
When it comes to dating and marrying these people... we have to decide what we can live with and what we can absolutely NOT live with..
We have to decide what is a 'changing' peeve and what an 'acceptance' peeve is.
If the guy i'm dating calls me DUDE.. MAN.. BRO.. HOMIE... any of the above... imma slap him upside the head until he stops! soooo unattractive guys.. common now.
NO girl wants to be called 'BUD'. it's just gross. however... i'm sure if you get smacked around.. this can be an accepting peeve. cuz iT WILL CHANGE but i accept the fact that it's small and i can live with it for the 5 seconds that it happens.. trust me.. it'll change dang fast if homeboy doesn't want a concussion.
If i'm dating a guy thats rude to his mom however.... this is a changing peeve.. cuz FIRST OFF it's a HUGE red flag.. and SECOND... if it doesn't change then... see ya never bud.
this is something i wont budge on.. you are treating your mom how you are going to treat me as soon as we get past the 'pretend you're perfect until they commit' phase and get comfortable enough to be grumpy and treat each other like crap phase..
not ok. check yourself or get out of my life.
Pet peeve: i HATE it when a guy cares more about what i look like than i do... if i choose to not wear make up and wear sweats one day.. you'll get over it! i'm not gonna get decked to the nines every single friggin day. i like to chill.. fill your prescription of chill pills that CLEARLY you've been out of for a while.. and get in sweats WITH ME! now THAT is attractive. i wont be a slob all the time.. but when i do.. love me for it.. or get off your high horse and die. or.. go find prom dress barbie.. cuz reality barbie likes sweats.
This could be an accepting peeve because even if i dated a guy that hated me in sweats.. first off.. you have to know me well enough that i'd still wear them.. BUT.. i could compromise and get dressed up more.. i could accept it and go around it.. it wouldn't make or break anything.. accept maybe his arm.
Pet Peeve: Lying.
i know a lot of guys that lie.. JUST TO LIE! there is absolutely NO point in telling me that you don't talk to any other girls if you really do... i didn't ask! i wasn't prying! why the heck did you say it JUST to lie about it?? thats RETARDED.. and again.. a HUGE red flag.
and like lying about where you are... who the freak cares where you are.. why are you lying about it? it's not a big deal.. and you make yourself a total sketch ball every time you lie..
This is a changing peeve.. cuz if it didn't change.. there wouldn't BE a relationship.. there wouldn't BE a chick for him to lie to anymore.
Even when you see them lie to other people.. their parents included.. about dumb stuff you know not to be true... RED. FLAG. KNOCK IT OFF OR YOU WILL DIE ALONE.
Other pet peeves:
Texting on dates: PUT YOUR DANG PHONE DOWN! I'm only with you for like an hour.. you are not a doctor.. you are NOT on call at a hospital.. the world isn't going to end while we're on our date.. and if it does... nobody's gonna TEXT you about it fool.
i am in front of you.. i should be a priority..
Guys that aren't gentlemen: get my door.. say please and thank you.. treat me with respect.. or don't expect a second THOUGHT let alone a second date!
Guys that talk like they don't speak english.. or like they didn't pass the 2nd grade:
'yo guuurl wasss good?'.. clearly not your literacy.
'i wuzz like thinkin we should get togetha or sumfin fun reeallss soon.. ya feel me?'...yaaaa.. i'm gonna say NO.
'what doing'.. excuse me?
'you h8ter.. you don like mah staheeeeze?'
no you retard. i don't... speak english.
Guys that say 'lol': to ME.. it's a sign of femininity.. when in an actual convo would you stop and say.. "lol".. never.
say haha. it shows that you're actually laughing.
-i fully admit that this is one of my retarded ones. i apologize.. but it bugs.
I"m gonna throw in when people don't return phone calls and/or text back.. cuz i never ever do and i know it bugs people... i'm sorry!!
buuut. let me chastise my people..
fellow lazy people that hate cell phones... we have 3 seconds to shoot someone a text back or 10 seconds to answer a phone call no matter what we're doing.. we need to be more considerate.
People that don't say thank you:
This is HUGE with girls on dates... hun.. the dude just paid for your entire evening.. nope.. nope he didn't HAVE to... it's nowhere in the rule book! he just did something VERY nice for you... and i KNOW he likes to be appreciated... SAY THANK YOU!!
If i'm on a date with a guy and he's not nice to the waiting staff.. i'm like seeee yyaaaaaa you jerk.. treat every single person like they're important. be classy.
Someone who wont take the person they're dating around their friends:
What are you....? ashamed of them? If YOU like them.. chances are.. your friends are gonna be JUST fine with them! and if you see it going ANYWHERE.. and you would like to have SOME friends in the future... you need to mesh the 2.
A common one i've found with girls:
guys that just want to 'hang out' and not 'date'..
where is hanging out gonna get you? nowhere. ask a chick on a date.
A common one with dudes:
Girls think that guys have to initiate EVERYTHING..
girls girls GIRLS!!! yall need to man up and don't make them do ALL the work!!
ya at first it's nice to be pursued.. but if you don't give ANYTHING back.. they're gonna get tired of chasin it..
show affection back! kiss them first sometimes! make them dinner! pay for the dollar movie every once in a while! let them know that you care!
The problem with being human is that we ALL have imperfections.. and chances are.. we find our OWN imperfections unattractive and annoying in other people...
THATS BAD.
we need to learn to accept people how they are.. and when the couple 'changing' peeves come up.. then it's ok to talk about them...
if you start out fundamentally saying EVERY. SINGLE. THING. you want to change about someone... go find someone else!!
Don't judge.. you're not perfect. Don't gossip.. you would hate to be on the losing end of it..
and take constructive criticism with an open mind and a grain of salt.. cuz people are DIFFERENT... they're SUPPOSED TO BE! Everyone can be refined.. and when we find and date people that make us better people.. we will know that we've won.
BE different. BE yourself.. and you'll BE happy.
Until Tomorrow!
xoxox
-Callymon
March 30, 2011
March 27, 2011
.. That's not my name..
I've been called many things in my life.. many things i'm sure i'm not even aware of..
from nick-names.. to family names... to mean names.. to nice names.. named by rumors.. named by school... named by career choice.. named by boyfriend...
from.. 'that one blonde chick from skyline that hangs out with....' to 'oooh ya! that's the chick that....'
I name everything in my life... furniture included!
Every boy that has ever been in my life.. or one of my sisters... has a name that their mama didn't give them.. that they're known as around my apartment and my house.. some.. are nicer than others..
Our basement just flooded... so we got all new furniture.. and oooooh did i go to town on naming THAT!! .. we've always had a big.. huge.. giant.. hot-tub couch that fills a whole alcove in our basement.
When i was in 8th grade.. i decided it needed a name.. Austin is what we came up with.. and Austin has been Austin ever since. He now has a short leather couch next to him named 'Willow'.. a longer leather couch named 'Ron Burgendy'.. a rug named Svahnk.. it's quite the crew!
I had a pillow in my apartment that was white and fuzzy.. it's name was zeus.. and it was my guard pillow...
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet "
What's in a title..? Whether you name something or not.. it doesn't change what it is..
We name EVERYTHING. We title EVERYTHING in our lives.. We can't help it.. It keeps the world on the same page...
In order to have a common language.. to be able to understand what the heck ANYONE says to each other.. we have to name everything.
If someone calls a tree.. a flower.. it doesn't change the fact that it's a tree.. and the person calling it a flower just looks demented.
I can call Austin.. Austin.. but it doesn't change the fact that he's a couch..
THINGS in this world are so straight forward like that...
If someone told you that there were no arms on a chair.. and you could clearly see that there were arms on it... you wouldn't believe them.. and again.. you'd question their eyesight.. and probably sanity.
A chair.. is always going to act like a chair... you would never be blindsided into thinking.. "woooaahhhh this chair is TOTALLY acting like a cupboard.."
Yet PEOPLE.. are so much more complex!
You can tell people that someone is your best friend...
but if you're kissing them.. hanging out with them every second.. and having "casual dinners" every week.... bro. i'm sorry... you're dating them.
call it what you want.. name it what you want... it doesn't change what it is.
so.. the first part of this.. i'm gonna tell you how insignificant these names are..
they are either simply stating the obvious.. covering something up or a lie.. or defining something..that even left undefined would be the same thing.. only without a name.
Call me what you want.. it doesn't change who i am.
My friend Taylor is in a relationship with this guy.. Rick.
Rick has a "best friend" that is not Taylor.. Her name is Rachel. Rick goes to Rachel with all of his problems.. she knows everything about his relationship with Taylor.. and gives him advice about it all the time! She's "one of his boys"... "one of his homies".. They've never dated... never kissed.. and Rick told Taylor that it was strictly friendly.. that she had absolutely nothing to worry about..
However.. instead of going to Taylor about problems they were having in their own relationship.. he didn't want to be naggy.. so he would talk it over with Rachel to get over it.
He didn't want Taylor to worry about the things going wrong in his life.. so he would take them to Rach.
The more issues Rick and Taylor had... the closer him and Rach got..
The closer Rick and Rach got... the farther apart Him and taylor got....
He could name it what he wanted... he could title it and define it in anyway he wanted to justify the situation...
it couldn't change what it was.
He was choosing Rachel over Taylor.. and The Taylor-Rick relationship was jeopardized for the sake of the Rick-Rachel one.
He could blow blue smoke out his pie hole to Tay about Rach being just a friend as much as he wanted... Rachel was more his girlfriend than taylor was.. because he was treating her like it.
Charolette was talking to her.. sort-of-almost-but not quite- boyfriend (we know how THAT goes..) about a rumor she heard.
The rumor was that he was kissing a bunch of other people.. which obviously didn't make her very happy..
When she addressed the rumor.. he claimed that he had kissed ONE girl.. and HE didn't even kiss HER.. SHE kissed HIM!! so OBVIOUSLY it should've been ok..
He said that he didn't have any feelings whatsoever for this dumb ho that he kissed so he hadn't mentioned it... he thought it was insignificant and unimportant.
HE. WAS. WRONG.
This situation was titled... "She kissed me!"
Hey Dummy... 2 lips lock.... there is kissing involved.... It doesn't matter who went the 90 and who went the 10.. you kissed EACH OTHER! and excuse me Mr. Brain fart... if you didn't care about the girl AT ALL... then why the heck did you kiss her retard?!
If it HONESTLY didn't even matter enough for you to bring it up to your almost-sort of girlfriend.. when clearly if she found out it would cause contention.. then why did you do it?!
No. You're sorry because you got caught. AT LEAST give it the proper name....
title the situation.. "i'm sorry! it shouldn't have happened.." or even "Yes we kissed.. it was at a rough time i should've said something now that we're moving forward.."
But no. you are a man. complete with a male ego.. complete with a knack for scheming and pushing the envelope..
You don't admit things until they are brought to the surface... then you try and talk your way out of them.. THEN when all the facts are on the table.. you're ready to move on!!
Take notes bud...
Girls are different than guys!
Guys get in a fight.. punch each other.. and 5 seconds later are best friends again without even talking through ANYTHING..
GIRLS on the other hand... if you get in a fight... we want to know why.. how.. what.. who. and where.. and we want straight up honest answers!
No.. she kissed me.. no.. ya buuut.. JUST TELL US WHAT HAPPENED!
if you are honest.. if you get the issue on the table.. THEN and ONLY THEN do we have an opportunity to forgive you... the more you mess up the story.. the more you try and get around it... the deeper the hole your diggin gets.. and the more shady you become in our eyes.
We're not retarded.. we like to move on from things too.. just let us bask on FACTS for a sec and get a little venting out of our system!!
Then.. if you've done something wrong... apologize.. melt our hearts.. maybe throw some yellow roses in if you were that much of a tool... THEN we'll move on!
Thank you.
So.. "she kissed me".. and "We kissed".. are the same thing.
call it what you will.. it still happened.. hence.. the insignificance of the name..
its a bad interpretation of what went down.
"Best friend".. and "girl i spend more time and energy on than you" are the same thing..
at least if you were calling it by its REAL name you would recognize it! buuut.. still an insignificant name..
However insignificant the name is.. if named the right thing.. it puts everyone on the same page..
we're gonna talk about the importance of giving something the RIGHT name..
Nobody would know a tree is a tree unless you name it and call it a tree... when everyone is one the same page.. recognizing that it's a tree.. we don't have anxiety of 'what the heck is that brown thing with leaves growing out of it..!?'
Guys... us girls aren't schizophrenic.. we don't have anxiety ALLLLL the time about what's going on in our relationships..
we aren't as needy as you make us out to be! we don't need validation of your affection for us if you show it! We wouldn't be questioning ANYTHING if we felt secure in the relationships you put us through! We don't ENJOY being on crack!! Just man up! Tell us you love us! SHOW us you love us... Give our relationship the stupid titles we need to know you're not going anywhere.. then we'll CALM DOWN!
The reason we want to have a 'name' for our relationship is so that we can know what it is! We see you afraid of a title and think...'he must not want to be with me'.. or 'he HAS to want to be with someone else'
YOU look at a title as something dumb.. that doesn't need to be defined because.. whether you call it something or not.. it doesn't change what it is.
GIRLS... here's your wake up call. THEY'RE RIGHT. it doesn't change what you are whether you title it or not..
GUYS... understand WHY they want you to!! They feel like if they don't tie you down and brand you.. that you're gonna run away from them!
Names are insignificant... however.. when used for good and not evil... when used appropriately.. they calm the troubled and bring clarity to confusion..
They are necessary to communicate.
A rose by any other name.. yaaaa shakespeare it would smell just as sweet... it would still BE a rose.. but if someone called it another name.. people wouldn't know they were talking about a rose..
Call me what you want.. it doesn't change who i am..
but call me what i am.. and you'll understand me more..
Call me my name.. and i'll answer!
until tomorrow!
xoxo
-McCracka
from nick-names.. to family names... to mean names.. to nice names.. named by rumors.. named by school... named by career choice.. named by boyfriend...
from.. 'that one blonde chick from skyline that hangs out with....' to 'oooh ya! that's the chick that....'
I name everything in my life... furniture included!
Every boy that has ever been in my life.. or one of my sisters... has a name that their mama didn't give them.. that they're known as around my apartment and my house.. some.. are nicer than others..
Our basement just flooded... so we got all new furniture.. and oooooh did i go to town on naming THAT!! .. we've always had a big.. huge.. giant.. hot-tub couch that fills a whole alcove in our basement.
When i was in 8th grade.. i decided it needed a name.. Austin is what we came up with.. and Austin has been Austin ever since. He now has a short leather couch next to him named 'Willow'.. a longer leather couch named 'Ron Burgendy'.. a rug named Svahnk.. it's quite the crew!
I had a pillow in my apartment that was white and fuzzy.. it's name was zeus.. and it was my guard pillow...
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet "
What's in a title..? Whether you name something or not.. it doesn't change what it is..
We name EVERYTHING. We title EVERYTHING in our lives.. We can't help it.. It keeps the world on the same page...
In order to have a common language.. to be able to understand what the heck ANYONE says to each other.. we have to name everything.
If someone calls a tree.. a flower.. it doesn't change the fact that it's a tree.. and the person calling it a flower just looks demented.
I can call Austin.. Austin.. but it doesn't change the fact that he's a couch..
THINGS in this world are so straight forward like that...
If someone told you that there were no arms on a chair.. and you could clearly see that there were arms on it... you wouldn't believe them.. and again.. you'd question their eyesight.. and probably sanity.
A chair.. is always going to act like a chair... you would never be blindsided into thinking.. "woooaahhhh this chair is TOTALLY acting like a cupboard.."
Yet PEOPLE.. are so much more complex!
You can tell people that someone is your best friend...
but if you're kissing them.. hanging out with them every second.. and having "casual dinners" every week.... bro. i'm sorry... you're dating them.
call it what you want.. name it what you want... it doesn't change what it is.
so.. the first part of this.. i'm gonna tell you how insignificant these names are..
they are either simply stating the obvious.. covering something up or a lie.. or defining something..that even left undefined would be the same thing.. only without a name.
Call me what you want.. it doesn't change who i am.
My friend Taylor is in a relationship with this guy.. Rick.
Rick has a "best friend" that is not Taylor.. Her name is Rachel. Rick goes to Rachel with all of his problems.. she knows everything about his relationship with Taylor.. and gives him advice about it all the time! She's "one of his boys"... "one of his homies".. They've never dated... never kissed.. and Rick told Taylor that it was strictly friendly.. that she had absolutely nothing to worry about..
However.. instead of going to Taylor about problems they were having in their own relationship.. he didn't want to be naggy.. so he would talk it over with Rachel to get over it.
He didn't want Taylor to worry about the things going wrong in his life.. so he would take them to Rach.
The more issues Rick and Taylor had... the closer him and Rach got..
The closer Rick and Rach got... the farther apart Him and taylor got....
He could name it what he wanted... he could title it and define it in anyway he wanted to justify the situation...
it couldn't change what it was.
He was choosing Rachel over Taylor.. and The Taylor-Rick relationship was jeopardized for the sake of the Rick-Rachel one.
He could blow blue smoke out his pie hole to Tay about Rach being just a friend as much as he wanted... Rachel was more his girlfriend than taylor was.. because he was treating her like it.
Charolette was talking to her.. sort-of-almost-but not quite- boyfriend (we know how THAT goes..) about a rumor she heard.
The rumor was that he was kissing a bunch of other people.. which obviously didn't make her very happy..
When she addressed the rumor.. he claimed that he had kissed ONE girl.. and HE didn't even kiss HER.. SHE kissed HIM!! so OBVIOUSLY it should've been ok..
He said that he didn't have any feelings whatsoever for this dumb ho that he kissed so he hadn't mentioned it... he thought it was insignificant and unimportant.
HE. WAS. WRONG.
This situation was titled... "She kissed me!"
Hey Dummy... 2 lips lock.... there is kissing involved.... It doesn't matter who went the 90 and who went the 10.. you kissed EACH OTHER! and excuse me Mr. Brain fart... if you didn't care about the girl AT ALL... then why the heck did you kiss her retard?!
If it HONESTLY didn't even matter enough for you to bring it up to your almost-sort of girlfriend.. when clearly if she found out it would cause contention.. then why did you do it?!
No. You're sorry because you got caught. AT LEAST give it the proper name....
title the situation.. "i'm sorry! it shouldn't have happened.." or even "Yes we kissed.. it was at a rough time i should've said something now that we're moving forward.."
But no. you are a man. complete with a male ego.. complete with a knack for scheming and pushing the envelope..
You don't admit things until they are brought to the surface... then you try and talk your way out of them.. THEN when all the facts are on the table.. you're ready to move on!!
Take notes bud...
Girls are different than guys!
Guys get in a fight.. punch each other.. and 5 seconds later are best friends again without even talking through ANYTHING..
GIRLS on the other hand... if you get in a fight... we want to know why.. how.. what.. who. and where.. and we want straight up honest answers!
No.. she kissed me.. no.. ya buuut.. JUST TELL US WHAT HAPPENED!
if you are honest.. if you get the issue on the table.. THEN and ONLY THEN do we have an opportunity to forgive you... the more you mess up the story.. the more you try and get around it... the deeper the hole your diggin gets.. and the more shady you become in our eyes.
We're not retarded.. we like to move on from things too.. just let us bask on FACTS for a sec and get a little venting out of our system!!
Then.. if you've done something wrong... apologize.. melt our hearts.. maybe throw some yellow roses in if you were that much of a tool... THEN we'll move on!
Thank you.
So.. "she kissed me".. and "We kissed".. are the same thing.
call it what you will.. it still happened.. hence.. the insignificance of the name..
its a bad interpretation of what went down.
"Best friend".. and "girl i spend more time and energy on than you" are the same thing..
at least if you were calling it by its REAL name you would recognize it! buuut.. still an insignificant name..
However insignificant the name is.. if named the right thing.. it puts everyone on the same page..
we're gonna talk about the importance of giving something the RIGHT name..
Nobody would know a tree is a tree unless you name it and call it a tree... when everyone is one the same page.. recognizing that it's a tree.. we don't have anxiety of 'what the heck is that brown thing with leaves growing out of it..!?'
Guys... us girls aren't schizophrenic.. we don't have anxiety ALLLLL the time about what's going on in our relationships..
we aren't as needy as you make us out to be! we don't need validation of your affection for us if you show it! We wouldn't be questioning ANYTHING if we felt secure in the relationships you put us through! We don't ENJOY being on crack!! Just man up! Tell us you love us! SHOW us you love us... Give our relationship the stupid titles we need to know you're not going anywhere.. then we'll CALM DOWN!
The reason we want to have a 'name' for our relationship is so that we can know what it is! We see you afraid of a title and think...'he must not want to be with me'.. or 'he HAS to want to be with someone else'
YOU look at a title as something dumb.. that doesn't need to be defined because.. whether you call it something or not.. it doesn't change what it is.
GIRLS... here's your wake up call. THEY'RE RIGHT. it doesn't change what you are whether you title it or not..
GUYS... understand WHY they want you to!! They feel like if they don't tie you down and brand you.. that you're gonna run away from them!
Names are insignificant... however.. when used for good and not evil... when used appropriately.. they calm the troubled and bring clarity to confusion..
They are necessary to communicate.
A rose by any other name.. yaaaa shakespeare it would smell just as sweet... it would still BE a rose.. but if someone called it another name.. people wouldn't know they were talking about a rose..
Call me what you want.. it doesn't change who i am..
but call me what i am.. and you'll understand me more..
Call me my name.. and i'll answer!
until tomorrow!
xoxo
-McCracka
March 25, 2011
Blind sided..
I know i've said before that music makes everything make sense.. that i literally have a soundtrack to my life playing in my head ALL the time.. At happy times.. a great upbeat 'You make my dreams come true' by Hall and Oats is rockin in my noggin.. When i'm sad.. Celine ballads usually do the trick..
The soundtrack to our lives DEFINITELY doesn't yield to love lives.. in fact.. sometimes these tracks screw us over by enhancing the feelings that we're feeling already!
Music can make you fall in love.. it can make you sadder than you really are.. it does CRAZY THINGS!
Now.. i know that we're in the 'ipod' days.. but the soundtrack of love is DEFINITELY on a cd.. a scratched.. stomped on.. whacked out.. cd!
We wrestle both sad and happy emotions at the same time.. making the music CRACKED OUT!
This soundtrack is called 'Fearful'
I literally drive around in my car.. not knowing whether to listen to sad music or happy music..
I don't know if i'm supposed to let myself be happy where i'm at... or prepare myself for things that could be coming emotionally..
Fear immobilizes us. Fear makes us do things illogical and scary!! Fear makes us run away from things.. to things.. into things.. around things.. its horrible!!!!
The absence of confidence is fear.
Fear is insecurity...
The absence of security..
Fear is lost hope..
We fear things we can't control.. and we fear things we don't know..
We are afraid to be left alone.. in the dark.. and be completely taken by surprise..
i am deathly afraid of the dark. i always have been.
In high school.. when all my friends' parents would go out of town they'd be stolked!! They got the house to themselves to do what they pleased.. they didn't have to answer to anyone...
I.. however.. couldn't spend ONE NIGHT alone in my dark scary house! Every creek.. every rumble.. every tree against my window.. was a crazy ax murderer rapist coming to slaughter me in my sleep!
My basement was a camp ground for monsters.. my closet a rest stop for ghosts..
Angry men.. psychotic dudes with arm hair fetishes that would force me to shave my legs or something crazy.. i couldn't handle it...
i would call my aunt and sleep at her house!
The dark is the epitomy of the unknown! Things linger in the dark.. it blinds us.. literally! Anything could be happening around us.. and if it's dark.. we wouldn't know!!! AHH!! now YOU'RE afraid of the dark too huh! ...TOLD YOU!!!!
But fear is scary! It keeps us from doing things we should.. or would've otherwise..
One of my best friends Emily had her heart raked through the coals this week...
Her and her boyfriend Max had the most stable.. incredible.. secure.. relationship i've ever seen. They were in each other's lives to make each other happy! They didn't HAVE to be together every single second to know of their love for each other.. but they couldn't stay AWAY from each other..
They were a part of each other's families.. they WERE each other's family! No problem was left unsolved.. no issue left untalked about... They were lovers.. friends.. enemies... whatever they needed each other to be at the moment. They were each other's everything.
They had been dating.. coming up on 2 years this month..
One day Max started acting weird while Emily was on his computer.. she couldn't figure out where the sketchiness was coming from.. they had always gotten on each other's computers..? Em let it eat at her while he monitored her every move... she got the impression he was trying to hide something.. that Max had been lying about something.. but she couldn't put her finger on it so she decided not to say anything.. She told herself that she was just being dumb and that saying something would cause more harm than good at this point... so she kept quiet.
A few days later insecurity started coming out.. Emily casually asked Max who he was texting.. with a quick 'nobody'.. change the subject.. and put his phone down... Emily KNEW something was up.
A couple months earlier Max had been texting a girl named Kim he went to high school with that now lived out of state.. Emily knew that this girl had always had a 'thing' for Max.. and when she found out they were texting she was pretty bugged about it. She rightfully asked him to stop texting this chick cuz - not that she didn't trust him... but Kim was a sketchy pants.. and it made her feel uncomfortable knowing that his subconscious was getting more than it's fill of anti-emily thoughts from Kim.
Max had appoligized and said that he would never do anything to make Em feel uncomfortable....
crock. of. crap.
As soon as the new sketchy situation was brought up... Emily's thoughts went straight to Kim..
She asked him if he'd been texting Kim.. and if thats why he had been so sketchy...
Within hours of this conversation.. Emily and Max broke up..
Max ended up being someone that Em had never expected..
He had been lying about talking to Kim.. Texting her inappropriately behind Emily's back.. and not respecting the 2 FREAKING YEAR relationship he had with Emily at ALL!
He completely undermined it.. denying their closeness to Kim and talking crap about HIS GIRLFRIEND to some sketchy skank ho that would do whatever he wanted..
Emily was completely blind sided!! ALL of our friends were! Her sense of security has completely been rocked. The thoughts that fill her mind are that she should've seen it coming.. that she wasn't good enough or that if she had only said something more a couple months ago.. that it never would've ended this way..
The rock in her life crumbled.. and the angels of heartbreak cried more for her this week than anyone..
Emily.. this was completely out of your control.. there's absolutely nothing you could've done to prevent it.. and no way you could've known that this was coming..
Max was a huge stepping stone for you.. you learned things from him you never would've otherwise..
He taught you how to love.. how to feel.. how to question.. how to get what you want.. and how to rise above situations.. how to be the bigger person.. and find strength in yourself when you thought you had none.
You will recover.. you will heal.. and you will be a much better person because of this heartache.
You're going to find the things you loved in Max in someone else.. someone better for you.. and better for your life.
One day you WILL be able to look back at this and see why it was supposed to happen...
hang in there.
This fear is of something we can't control.
Love is scary.. because as much as you THINK you can control your OWN emotions.. you absolutely can NOT control the emotions and actions of others..
You leap.. you fall.. you hope and pray someone else is doing the same..
Another friend of mine named Karen is running around her love-house.. turning on all the lights.. determined to never be surprised.
Karen looks at Emily's situation and is scared for her life! Her fear of the dark is rising and rising.. hopefully soon to hit a peak where the fear can subside again..
Karen hasn't been in a relationship for a couple years.. The last boyfriend she had..tom.. had completely blind sided her as well.. just in a different way..
She thought everything was amazing and only getting better.. they loved each other.. and they had promised each other that they always would...
One day.. completely out of the blue.. Tom broke her heart.
He told her that all their talk of 'forever' had been a joke to him... that he was 'just kidding'.. and she would have to understand that.
Since this experience.. Karen has been anti-boy.. anti-relationship.. and anti-feelings..
She recently met an AMAZING guy named John..
John is good to her... he's everything she would want in a boyfriend.. if she hadn't sworn off having boyfriends..
She's happy with John... but... like me.. she doesn't know whether to rock out to 'I think i'm in Love' by Jessica Simpson.. or memorize the words to 'Last Kiss' by T-swift JUST in case...
Her own happiness is terrifying her.. and the closer they get.. the more scared she becomes.
She assumes that all men are like Tom.. that everything he tells her.. he will someday take back.. that every promise.. every compliment.. will soon have to be paid for in tears..
Karen.. you have to let yourself love again.
Love is scary.. like i said... but it should NEVER keep you from feeling!
NOBODY is happy alone... and you are bringing your situation upon yourself..
you have to be OPEN to the idea of being hurt again so that you can let yourself GO! Have faith that if it's supposed to happen with John.. that it will!! and if he breaks your heart.. you will have refined yourself in another.. preparing your heart for the joy that is in store..
It's ok to be hurt... It shows us we're human!
But we have to learn that with hurt... we shouldn't build walls..
Just because we get broken down.. doesn't mean we should gear up for war!
Our broken moments are beautiful after they pass.. they show us who we are.. they show us that we're capable of loving someone outside of ourselves so much that it hurts us to lose them..
and these moments really do prepare us to embrace a world full of happiness when our prince charming comes along!
Right now.. it's hard to imagine your life certain ways.. open your mind.. open your heart.. open your feelings.. and take off our masks.
Karen.. stop trying to put a band-aid over unbroken skin...
Grab ben.. grab jerry.. grab a chick flick and some fuzzy socks... and wait it out.
You're going to be fine... both of you. I promise.
xox
-McConfider
The soundtrack to our lives DEFINITELY doesn't yield to love lives.. in fact.. sometimes these tracks screw us over by enhancing the feelings that we're feeling already!
Music can make you fall in love.. it can make you sadder than you really are.. it does CRAZY THINGS!
Now.. i know that we're in the 'ipod' days.. but the soundtrack of love is DEFINITELY on a cd.. a scratched.. stomped on.. whacked out.. cd!
We wrestle both sad and happy emotions at the same time.. making the music CRACKED OUT!
This soundtrack is called 'Fearful'
I literally drive around in my car.. not knowing whether to listen to sad music or happy music..
I don't know if i'm supposed to let myself be happy where i'm at... or prepare myself for things that could be coming emotionally..
Fear immobilizes us. Fear makes us do things illogical and scary!! Fear makes us run away from things.. to things.. into things.. around things.. its horrible!!!!
The absence of confidence is fear.
Fear is insecurity...
The absence of security..
Fear is lost hope..
We fear things we can't control.. and we fear things we don't know..
We are afraid to be left alone.. in the dark.. and be completely taken by surprise..
i am deathly afraid of the dark. i always have been.
In high school.. when all my friends' parents would go out of town they'd be stolked!! They got the house to themselves to do what they pleased.. they didn't have to answer to anyone...
I.. however.. couldn't spend ONE NIGHT alone in my dark scary house! Every creek.. every rumble.. every tree against my window.. was a crazy ax murderer rapist coming to slaughter me in my sleep!
My basement was a camp ground for monsters.. my closet a rest stop for ghosts..
Angry men.. psychotic dudes with arm hair fetishes that would force me to shave my legs or something crazy.. i couldn't handle it...
i would call my aunt and sleep at her house!
The dark is the epitomy of the unknown! Things linger in the dark.. it blinds us.. literally! Anything could be happening around us.. and if it's dark.. we wouldn't know!!! AHH!! now YOU'RE afraid of the dark too huh! ...TOLD YOU!!!!
But fear is scary! It keeps us from doing things we should.. or would've otherwise..
One of my best friends Emily had her heart raked through the coals this week...
Her and her boyfriend Max had the most stable.. incredible.. secure.. relationship i've ever seen. They were in each other's lives to make each other happy! They didn't HAVE to be together every single second to know of their love for each other.. but they couldn't stay AWAY from each other..
They were a part of each other's families.. they WERE each other's family! No problem was left unsolved.. no issue left untalked about... They were lovers.. friends.. enemies... whatever they needed each other to be at the moment. They were each other's everything.
They had been dating.. coming up on 2 years this month..
One day Max started acting weird while Emily was on his computer.. she couldn't figure out where the sketchiness was coming from.. they had always gotten on each other's computers..? Em let it eat at her while he monitored her every move... she got the impression he was trying to hide something.. that Max had been lying about something.. but she couldn't put her finger on it so she decided not to say anything.. She told herself that she was just being dumb and that saying something would cause more harm than good at this point... so she kept quiet.
A few days later insecurity started coming out.. Emily casually asked Max who he was texting.. with a quick 'nobody'.. change the subject.. and put his phone down... Emily KNEW something was up.
A couple months earlier Max had been texting a girl named Kim he went to high school with that now lived out of state.. Emily knew that this girl had always had a 'thing' for Max.. and when she found out they were texting she was pretty bugged about it. She rightfully asked him to stop texting this chick cuz - not that she didn't trust him... but Kim was a sketchy pants.. and it made her feel uncomfortable knowing that his subconscious was getting more than it's fill of anti-emily thoughts from Kim.
Max had appoligized and said that he would never do anything to make Em feel uncomfortable....
crock. of. crap.
As soon as the new sketchy situation was brought up... Emily's thoughts went straight to Kim..
She asked him if he'd been texting Kim.. and if thats why he had been so sketchy...
Within hours of this conversation.. Emily and Max broke up..
Max ended up being someone that Em had never expected..
He had been lying about talking to Kim.. Texting her inappropriately behind Emily's back.. and not respecting the 2 FREAKING YEAR relationship he had with Emily at ALL!
He completely undermined it.. denying their closeness to Kim and talking crap about HIS GIRLFRIEND to some sketchy skank ho that would do whatever he wanted..
Emily was completely blind sided!! ALL of our friends were! Her sense of security has completely been rocked. The thoughts that fill her mind are that she should've seen it coming.. that she wasn't good enough or that if she had only said something more a couple months ago.. that it never would've ended this way..
The rock in her life crumbled.. and the angels of heartbreak cried more for her this week than anyone..
Emily.. this was completely out of your control.. there's absolutely nothing you could've done to prevent it.. and no way you could've known that this was coming..
Max was a huge stepping stone for you.. you learned things from him you never would've otherwise..
He taught you how to love.. how to feel.. how to question.. how to get what you want.. and how to rise above situations.. how to be the bigger person.. and find strength in yourself when you thought you had none.
You will recover.. you will heal.. and you will be a much better person because of this heartache.
You're going to find the things you loved in Max in someone else.. someone better for you.. and better for your life.
One day you WILL be able to look back at this and see why it was supposed to happen...
hang in there.
This fear is of something we can't control.
Love is scary.. because as much as you THINK you can control your OWN emotions.. you absolutely can NOT control the emotions and actions of others..
You leap.. you fall.. you hope and pray someone else is doing the same..
Another friend of mine named Karen is running around her love-house.. turning on all the lights.. determined to never be surprised.
Karen looks at Emily's situation and is scared for her life! Her fear of the dark is rising and rising.. hopefully soon to hit a peak where the fear can subside again..
Karen hasn't been in a relationship for a couple years.. The last boyfriend she had..tom.. had completely blind sided her as well.. just in a different way..
She thought everything was amazing and only getting better.. they loved each other.. and they had promised each other that they always would...
One day.. completely out of the blue.. Tom broke her heart.
He told her that all their talk of 'forever' had been a joke to him... that he was 'just kidding'.. and she would have to understand that.
Since this experience.. Karen has been anti-boy.. anti-relationship.. and anti-feelings..
She recently met an AMAZING guy named John..
John is good to her... he's everything she would want in a boyfriend.. if she hadn't sworn off having boyfriends..
She's happy with John... but... like me.. she doesn't know whether to rock out to 'I think i'm in Love' by Jessica Simpson.. or memorize the words to 'Last Kiss' by T-swift JUST in case...
Her own happiness is terrifying her.. and the closer they get.. the more scared she becomes.
She assumes that all men are like Tom.. that everything he tells her.. he will someday take back.. that every promise.. every compliment.. will soon have to be paid for in tears..
Karen.. you have to let yourself love again.
Love is scary.. like i said... but it should NEVER keep you from feeling!
NOBODY is happy alone... and you are bringing your situation upon yourself..
you have to be OPEN to the idea of being hurt again so that you can let yourself GO! Have faith that if it's supposed to happen with John.. that it will!! and if he breaks your heart.. you will have refined yourself in another.. preparing your heart for the joy that is in store..
It's ok to be hurt... It shows us we're human!
But we have to learn that with hurt... we shouldn't build walls..
Just because we get broken down.. doesn't mean we should gear up for war!
Our broken moments are beautiful after they pass.. they show us who we are.. they show us that we're capable of loving someone outside of ourselves so much that it hurts us to lose them..
and these moments really do prepare us to embrace a world full of happiness when our prince charming comes along!
Right now.. it's hard to imagine your life certain ways.. open your mind.. open your heart.. open your feelings.. and take off our masks.
Karen.. stop trying to put a band-aid over unbroken skin...
Grab ben.. grab jerry.. grab a chick flick and some fuzzy socks... and wait it out.
You're going to be fine... both of you. I promise.
xox
-McConfider
March 22, 2011
..A dream is a wish...
Yesterday i had an EPIC movie day. I saw Tangled... yes for the 8th time. don't judge me. annnd i saw inception for the first time... all i have to say about that one is WOOOAHHH!
As i sat there awake last night.. my mind was going nuts!
A dream is a wish your heart makes... Im gonna leave off the "when you're fast asleep" and focus on dreams in general.
A dream is a wish..
A dream is an Idea...
A dream is a quest...
A dream is a world we build ourselves that we hope and wish to make reality someday.. a place of safety.. security.. a place where we control results.. outcomes.. consequences.. A place where we have the final say.
In the world of Inception.. this dream world is a crazy place of secrets.. vaults containing the deepest darkest desires of our hearts.. a place where reality and fantasy overlap to form the ideal.. in most cases.. to form the impossible.. and in some cases.. to form nightmares beyond our wildest thoughts.
I'm gonna jump around for a minute.. just go with me.
In tangled.. Repunzle's dream is to venture on a Journey to see the lanterns that are released into the sky every year on her birthday... When she FINALLY reaches her destination.. and her life's dream is about to come true.. she starts to worry..
"What if it's not what i imagined... and what if it IS.. then what..?"
Flynn/Eugene.. her prince charming in the making replies.. "That's the great thing.. you get to find a new dream.."
I know i've said before that our spirits are hardwired for progression.. If we're not moving forward we're moving backwards...
now apply this to our new "dream world" that we're exploring...
It is.. and should be.. a place of constant change. Our wishes.. expectations.. ideas.. they're all hardwired within us to progress.
We form the different levels of our dreams. with the scenery.. people.. and objectives different on each level.. til we reach a state of Limbo.. where we can potentially live forever..
Forever making changes in a world we control.. in a life that we hold the keys to success in..
A new world where nothing else matters except being with the one you love and the creation of success in your life by whatever standard you set.
As we look to our ideal.. the dream in our heads of what and how our world and future should look.. We have to understand that everything in life is a process..
Every destination has a set of directions to it.. every finish line has a race proceeding it.
Repunzle had to go on this life changing journey to live her dream.. and while she was searching for something else.. she stumbled across her new dream.. Flynn Rider. Her Journey to find something materialistic became a journey to find herself in another.. and she found love where she least expected it.
The first level of repunzle's dream would be leaving her tower.. she never thought it was possible.. but she set her ideal reality outside of it.. and.. with a little help.. she conquered the level like 'Angry Birds' and moved on.. The next level would be seeing the lights.. and you see the journey take her places she's never been and make her do things she's never done... The next level would be Flynn. He became her new quest.. her new dream.. And then finally she reaches Limbo where she gets it all...
Her reality becomes far better than anything she had ever dreamed.. She gets the dude.. the castle.. the horse.. the Chameleon.. the crown.. parents that don't use her for her once magical glowing hair that's now a brown butch cut.. it's great.
I have this image of what my future looks like locked in my vault in my heart and mind.
In this world.. Im successful to my own standards.. I live happily ever after with my soul mate.. the roads are made of chocolate... and popcorn flows like Niagra falls.
I have my dream job.. dream guy.. dream house.. dream kids.. dream lifestyle..
This dreamworld however.. is about to get rocked.
Through recent experiences with my friend James.. I've learned that the future is a bad place to live. That this dream world mansion has to be built brick by brick in the present.
That these wishes.. ideas.. quests.. all have to be taken on one step at a time in the present.
Now.. i've always thought that those who say 'patience is a virtue'.. obviously weren't waiting for something totally friggin awesome.. But i've had to learn to have patience with myself.. my progression.. and my dreamworld future..
In our wonderful love lives.. that are complicated and suck all the time... there are different levels of dreams as well..
As we are all seeking the same destination of 'Prince Charming' in the end.. we all have to endure this retarded.. demented process.. of the 'levels of the prince charming dream'..
My homegirl Abby dates like NOBODY'S BUSINESS.. like seriously.. i've never seen ANYONE date like this girl. she dates with a PURPOSE.. she does WORK!
She has been in many relationships.. many serious relationships.. that definitely could've resulted in big diamonds and white dresses.
She's had her heart broken many times.. and she's broken her fair share of hearts..
With every new guy and new experience.. she has felt like she's had to start over.. completely from square one.. that she's had to bulldoze her mansion in the process and lay new foundation..
BUUTT... never fear abby.. Mcheart Doctor is here!
Like i said.. our souls are hardwired for progression..
With every new guy.. you learn new lessons.. you get new petpeves... you learn more about yourself.. you get better at kissing.. and you learn what you want in the future prince charming!
Every guy is a stepping stone leading up to the leap of faith.. the leap of love.. and finally falling knowing your prince charming will be there to catch you.
As i look back in my dating life at the lessons i've learned from the crazy dudes on the roster.. i realize what it's made me into.
things i never would've known if i didn't go through exactly what i have...
- I'm stubborn.. and i need someone that will FORCE me to let them into my life.
- I live life with spontaneity.. on the edge.. and i need someone that walks the balance beam with me..
- i like making out too much to date a bad kisser..
- i like PDA.. not the gross awkward kind.. but homie.. you hold my hand and kiss me in public or imma slap you.
- i need a dude thats taller than me
- long distance relationships suck.. i don't recommend them.. and i'm not about to do one again
- i like cheesey stuff.. and dudes that aren't into that.. get the boot.
- i like guys that will watch disney movies with me.
- Prince charming will also have a best friend that will date and marry my sister
- "that's hott" is NOT a term of endearment.
.. trust me there's TONZ!
I know we get to certain points in our lives.. and dating lives.. that we see our future in a certain way. Where we love someone with all of our hearts that we can't even iMAGINE our lives and futures without them in it. Unfortunately we only have a 50/50 chance in every relationship that this present person.. will make it into 'future dude status'.
All relationships have to end 1 of 2 ways.. you break up.. or you get married..
You just have to realize that with every heartbreak.. new beginnings are discovered..
you are made a better person with each jerk you go through..
every single person that walks in and out of your life brings a new lesson that you need to learn..
look for these lessons and apply them to your future dream world to make it a paradise you can only imagine..
you dream dreams wishing and hoping that someday they will come true..
wishes are nothing if they're not pursued..
dreams become things only of sleeping if we surrender our lives to people that don't deserve ultimate control..
Our future and our reality is something for US to create... in dating.. in school.. in LIFE..
as each new day comes.. take the challenge to live in the present FOR the future..
dream in the NOW..
get off your butt and go build your own mansion. you have all the tools..
Challenge...
make a list of each person you've dated and each lesson.. how ever dumb it may be.. that you learned from them that you were able to take into a future relationship.
Next... make a list of lessons you have taught others.. and lessons you hope others take from you some day..
The third list.. is a list of things you want the person you end up with to have..
Now take the third list and apply it to yourself.. BECOME the kind of person you want to end up with..
"If you don't like what you're attracting.. change what's attracting it.."
Until tomorrow!
xoxo
-McCraazy sauce
As i sat there awake last night.. my mind was going nuts!
A dream is a wish your heart makes... Im gonna leave off the "when you're fast asleep" and focus on dreams in general.
A dream is a wish..
A dream is an Idea...
A dream is a quest...
A dream is a world we build ourselves that we hope and wish to make reality someday.. a place of safety.. security.. a place where we control results.. outcomes.. consequences.. A place where we have the final say.
In the world of Inception.. this dream world is a crazy place of secrets.. vaults containing the deepest darkest desires of our hearts.. a place where reality and fantasy overlap to form the ideal.. in most cases.. to form the impossible.. and in some cases.. to form nightmares beyond our wildest thoughts.
I'm gonna jump around for a minute.. just go with me.
In tangled.. Repunzle's dream is to venture on a Journey to see the lanterns that are released into the sky every year on her birthday... When she FINALLY reaches her destination.. and her life's dream is about to come true.. she starts to worry..
"What if it's not what i imagined... and what if it IS.. then what..?"
Flynn/Eugene.. her prince charming in the making replies.. "That's the great thing.. you get to find a new dream.."
I know i've said before that our spirits are hardwired for progression.. If we're not moving forward we're moving backwards...
now apply this to our new "dream world" that we're exploring...
It is.. and should be.. a place of constant change. Our wishes.. expectations.. ideas.. they're all hardwired within us to progress.
We form the different levels of our dreams. with the scenery.. people.. and objectives different on each level.. til we reach a state of Limbo.. where we can potentially live forever..
Forever making changes in a world we control.. in a life that we hold the keys to success in..
A new world where nothing else matters except being with the one you love and the creation of success in your life by whatever standard you set.
As we look to our ideal.. the dream in our heads of what and how our world and future should look.. We have to understand that everything in life is a process..
Every destination has a set of directions to it.. every finish line has a race proceeding it.
Repunzle had to go on this life changing journey to live her dream.. and while she was searching for something else.. she stumbled across her new dream.. Flynn Rider. Her Journey to find something materialistic became a journey to find herself in another.. and she found love where she least expected it.
The first level of repunzle's dream would be leaving her tower.. she never thought it was possible.. but she set her ideal reality outside of it.. and.. with a little help.. she conquered the level like 'Angry Birds' and moved on.. The next level would be seeing the lights.. and you see the journey take her places she's never been and make her do things she's never done... The next level would be Flynn. He became her new quest.. her new dream.. And then finally she reaches Limbo where she gets it all...
Her reality becomes far better than anything she had ever dreamed.. She gets the dude.. the castle.. the horse.. the Chameleon.. the crown.. parents that don't use her for her once magical glowing hair that's now a brown butch cut.. it's great.
I have this image of what my future looks like locked in my vault in my heart and mind.
In this world.. Im successful to my own standards.. I live happily ever after with my soul mate.. the roads are made of chocolate... and popcorn flows like Niagra falls.
I have my dream job.. dream guy.. dream house.. dream kids.. dream lifestyle..
This dreamworld however.. is about to get rocked.
Through recent experiences with my friend James.. I've learned that the future is a bad place to live. That this dream world mansion has to be built brick by brick in the present.
That these wishes.. ideas.. quests.. all have to be taken on one step at a time in the present.
Now.. i've always thought that those who say 'patience is a virtue'.. obviously weren't waiting for something totally friggin awesome.. But i've had to learn to have patience with myself.. my progression.. and my dreamworld future..
In our wonderful love lives.. that are complicated and suck all the time... there are different levels of dreams as well..
As we are all seeking the same destination of 'Prince Charming' in the end.. we all have to endure this retarded.. demented process.. of the 'levels of the prince charming dream'..
My homegirl Abby dates like NOBODY'S BUSINESS.. like seriously.. i've never seen ANYONE date like this girl. she dates with a PURPOSE.. she does WORK!
She has been in many relationships.. many serious relationships.. that definitely could've resulted in big diamonds and white dresses.
She's had her heart broken many times.. and she's broken her fair share of hearts..
With every new guy and new experience.. she has felt like she's had to start over.. completely from square one.. that she's had to bulldoze her mansion in the process and lay new foundation..
BUUTT... never fear abby.. Mcheart Doctor is here!
Like i said.. our souls are hardwired for progression..
With every new guy.. you learn new lessons.. you get new petpeves... you learn more about yourself.. you get better at kissing.. and you learn what you want in the future prince charming!
Every guy is a stepping stone leading up to the leap of faith.. the leap of love.. and finally falling knowing your prince charming will be there to catch you.
As i look back in my dating life at the lessons i've learned from the crazy dudes on the roster.. i realize what it's made me into.
things i never would've known if i didn't go through exactly what i have...
- I'm stubborn.. and i need someone that will FORCE me to let them into my life.
- I live life with spontaneity.. on the edge.. and i need someone that walks the balance beam with me..
- i like making out too much to date a bad kisser..
- i like PDA.. not the gross awkward kind.. but homie.. you hold my hand and kiss me in public or imma slap you.
- i need a dude thats taller than me
- long distance relationships suck.. i don't recommend them.. and i'm not about to do one again
- i like cheesey stuff.. and dudes that aren't into that.. get the boot.
- i like guys that will watch disney movies with me.
- Prince charming will also have a best friend that will date and marry my sister
- "that's hott" is NOT a term of endearment.
.. trust me there's TONZ!
I know we get to certain points in our lives.. and dating lives.. that we see our future in a certain way. Where we love someone with all of our hearts that we can't even iMAGINE our lives and futures without them in it. Unfortunately we only have a 50/50 chance in every relationship that this present person.. will make it into 'future dude status'.
All relationships have to end 1 of 2 ways.. you break up.. or you get married..
You just have to realize that with every heartbreak.. new beginnings are discovered..
you are made a better person with each jerk you go through..
every single person that walks in and out of your life brings a new lesson that you need to learn..
look for these lessons and apply them to your future dream world to make it a paradise you can only imagine..
you dream dreams wishing and hoping that someday they will come true..
wishes are nothing if they're not pursued..
dreams become things only of sleeping if we surrender our lives to people that don't deserve ultimate control..
Our future and our reality is something for US to create... in dating.. in school.. in LIFE..
as each new day comes.. take the challenge to live in the present FOR the future..
dream in the NOW..
get off your butt and go build your own mansion. you have all the tools..
Challenge...
make a list of each person you've dated and each lesson.. how ever dumb it may be.. that you learned from them that you were able to take into a future relationship.
Next... make a list of lessons you have taught others.. and lessons you hope others take from you some day..
The third list.. is a list of things you want the person you end up with to have..
Now take the third list and apply it to yourself.. BECOME the kind of person you want to end up with..
"If you don't like what you're attracting.. change what's attracting it.."
Until tomorrow!
xoxo
-McCraazy sauce
March 18, 2011
..The Circle of Love...
If you feel so inclined... sing to the tune of "Circle of life" from the Lion King
(obviously you have to get the african chanting voice at the beginning..)
IIIIIIIII want THHHAAATT guyyy but he ruuunns so i cry... (add in the african chants that nobody understands)
when you want em usually they dont want chya.. you dont want em they will stalk and haunt chya..
when you want em they will neva want chya... but you run and they will stalk and haunt chya..
From the day we arrive out of high school
and step onto a new dating field
there's more to kiss than could ever be kissed
more to date than we ever will...
There's far too much to take in here
all the good ones are taken it seems
but some day i'll find
the guy i have in mind
take out his girlfriend and he'll be with meeee...
it's the circle of LOVE
the wheel of misfortune
it's a leap of faith
and fallin on our face
till we find the one
and chase is overrrrr
it's the circle
the circle of LOOVEEEE...
alright.. stop singing...put DOWN the stuffed animal you were holding in the air like Rafikki..
Our love lives are a LOT more like the lion king than you would think...
Like Scar killing Mufasa and TRYING to kill Simba...
We have jealous people who want what others have so they try to KILL what they have..and any potential of someone being less miserable than they are..
We have Timone and Pumba..
best friends that stick with us no matter WHAT.. and occasionally sing "can you feel the love tonight" to us while we get our flirt on with our soul mates
Like Scar and his ugly minion hyenas...
We have a bunch of people stuck on pride rock.. refusing to get off..
and of course.. we have the circle of love..
around and around and around it goes..
We want what we can't have... what we don't want wants us.. we chase.. we are chased...
around and around it goes...
There comes a point when we get extremely dizzy and have to decide.... do we want this person JUST because we can't have them? or is there something else there?
Do we only want to be with them because someone ELSE wants to be with them?
My friend Cami is in an extremely complicated relationship.
If she were to update her status every time it changed on facebook... it would completely fill your newsfeed...
I talk to her every couple of days and she's either... in the relationship... out of the relationship... working through the relationship.. getting married... heart broken... or waaaaayy confused.
Sometimes it doesn't only depend on the day... it depends on the HOUR! She loves her sort of- kind of- not- but sometimes boyfriend.. but they don't know if they want to BE with each other..
If you've read my other posts.. her and Jenny are in the same situation.. they're dating these guys that don't want to commit.. so they're forced to date other people too.
Cami and her dude Josh.. started out DTR-ing like every other day... they REALLY wanted to figure stuff out.. Josh would think he wasn't ready for commitment so he would pull back, and then as soon as she showed ANY sign of backing away even in the slightest.. he would basically put a ring on her hand... Is your head spinning? Good. cuz mine is too. and Cami's? has all but fallen OFF!
She got so fed up with defining and undefining her relationship that they finally decided that they were gonna take things slow... date other people.. and figure things out as they went..
no commitment.. no worries.. no stress.. basically no strings attached.
Naturally.. because they couldn't seem to stay apart.. they still hung out and continued to grow closer together..
Over the course of a couple weeks.. things got to the point where they were spending a lot of time together.. and they weren't dating other people.. beacause they were dating each other more and more.
BUT.. the status of the relationship hadn't changed... Josh still didn't want to commit and Cami was still sick of letting him give her whip lash.. so.. I set Cami up with this great guy named Sean! ... myyyy bad (sorry Josh).
She told me they were still dating other people! Which They were.. are.. whatever. So. Cami went on the date.. she had a GREAT time and she really liked the boy! (just call me match maker)
When Josh found out about the date.. he. was. PISSED!!!!! He told her that it had COMPLETELY caught him off guard and that he NEVER thought she would go on a date with the way their relationship had been progressing! He told her that he didn't want to share her with ANYONE else.. and it was reallllyyy gettin under his skin..
After this big dramatic scene.. speech.. and what Cami thought was a change in the wind coming.. Did anything change? ... you guessed it... NOPE.
Josh and Cami are caught in the Circle of Love..
Because Josh thought that Sean wanted Cami.. all of the sudden HE wanted her..
Because Cami was momentarily out of reach for Josh.. he wanted to be with her..
Ya the date slapped him around a little bit.. but because it didn't help push him in Cami's direction indefinitely.. Cami's convinced that all he wants to do is play games with her.. and she thinks he'll never commit... that if she keeps her heart invested in Josh.. that she's gonna die alone.
The games going on between them aren't playa playa games.. they're not waiting a certain amount of time to return phone calls and flirting with best friends to cause reactions.. but they're still caught in the revolving door of 'to commit.. or not commit..' that is the question..
With the recent developments.. my advice for Cami is until he makes you his girlfriend.. you guys are STILL dating other people.. so KEEP dating other people.. if anything it'll make Josh realize that he DOES want to be with you and he really doesn't want to share you with the rest of the world.. or the football team..
AND by dating quality guys like Sean.. if something else comes along that ends up being better than Josh.. you're in a win-win situation girlfriend.
When i was in 8th grade.. a new boy named Jake moved to my middle school. He was cute..he was mysterious.. for an 8th grader.. and heck. EVERY girl in the 8th grade wanted to be with him.
So... naturally.. i was determined to be the one that came out on top.
I would call him.. flirt with him at school.. and started working my way into his mind and onto his radar. The more i got to know him.. the more i was like eh.. i don't really like this kid..
but THEN.. one of my not-so-close friends Sally announced to all of our friends at a sleepover that she was about to make Jake her boyfriend.. she basically had it in the bag....
Guess who ended up kissing Jake 2 days later and having him ask to be his girlfriend...
i TOLD YOU.... DON'T CHALLENGE ME! ..
buuut long story short.. our 8th grade relationship lasted all whole whopping 12 days before i realized that.. no. i really didn't like this kid at all.. i just had to WIN! so.. we broke up.. and i left Sally to happily sloppy seconds..
i was like a dog with a car... they chase them and chase them.. and then once they catch up with them.. then what..?
So many of us play games with OURSELVES because we either.. think we want something because other people bring it to our attention.. and once we get it.. we realize that we never wanted it in the first place..
OR.. like Cami and Josh.. we have something great yet we run around and around in circles until someone ELSE comes with big flashing lights to sweep your not-really-but going to be very soon- girlfriend off her feat. We have to get a serious slap in the face to pull our head out of our hiney!!
STOP the circle of love! STOP chasing cars just to chase them.. evaluate where YOU stand in your relationships.. or hook ups or whatever your doing.. WITHOUT the influence of the world..
in YOUR mind and heart does this seem right..? If the answer is yes.. and you haven't done anything about it.. you are a fool.
Josh.. if you can't live without Cami.. make the dang chick your woman.
Dog.. stop chasing car.. when you catch it.. all you will have accomplished is.. well.. nothing. knock it off.
Until tomorrow! xoxo
-McComplicated
(obviously you have to get the african chanting voice at the beginning..)
IIIIIIIII want THHHAAATT guyyy but he ruuunns so i cry... (add in the african chants that nobody understands)
when you want em usually they dont want chya.. you dont want em they will stalk and haunt chya..
when you want em they will neva want chya... but you run and they will stalk and haunt chya..
From the day we arrive out of high school
and step onto a new dating field
there's more to kiss than could ever be kissed
more to date than we ever will...
There's far too much to take in here
all the good ones are taken it seems
but some day i'll find
the guy i have in mind
take out his girlfriend and he'll be with meeee...
it's the circle of LOVE
the wheel of misfortune
it's a leap of faith
and fallin on our face
till we find the one
and chase is overrrrr
it's the circle
the circle of LOOVEEEE...
alright.. stop singing...put DOWN the stuffed animal you were holding in the air like Rafikki..
Our love lives are a LOT more like the lion king than you would think...
Like Scar killing Mufasa and TRYING to kill Simba...
We have jealous people who want what others have so they try to KILL what they have..and any potential of someone being less miserable than they are..
We have Timone and Pumba..
best friends that stick with us no matter WHAT.. and occasionally sing "can you feel the love tonight" to us while we get our flirt on with our soul mates
Like Scar and his ugly minion hyenas...
We have a bunch of people stuck on pride rock.. refusing to get off..
and of course.. we have the circle of love..
around and around and around it goes..
We want what we can't have... what we don't want wants us.. we chase.. we are chased...
around and around it goes...
There comes a point when we get extremely dizzy and have to decide.... do we want this person JUST because we can't have them? or is there something else there?
Do we only want to be with them because someone ELSE wants to be with them?
My friend Cami is in an extremely complicated relationship.
If she were to update her status every time it changed on facebook... it would completely fill your newsfeed...
I talk to her every couple of days and she's either... in the relationship... out of the relationship... working through the relationship.. getting married... heart broken... or waaaaayy confused.
Sometimes it doesn't only depend on the day... it depends on the HOUR! She loves her sort of- kind of- not- but sometimes boyfriend.. but they don't know if they want to BE with each other..
If you've read my other posts.. her and Jenny are in the same situation.. they're dating these guys that don't want to commit.. so they're forced to date other people too.
Cami and her dude Josh.. started out DTR-ing like every other day... they REALLY wanted to figure stuff out.. Josh would think he wasn't ready for commitment so he would pull back, and then as soon as she showed ANY sign of backing away even in the slightest.. he would basically put a ring on her hand... Is your head spinning? Good. cuz mine is too. and Cami's? has all but fallen OFF!
She got so fed up with defining and undefining her relationship that they finally decided that they were gonna take things slow... date other people.. and figure things out as they went..
no commitment.. no worries.. no stress.. basically no strings attached.
Naturally.. because they couldn't seem to stay apart.. they still hung out and continued to grow closer together..
Over the course of a couple weeks.. things got to the point where they were spending a lot of time together.. and they weren't dating other people.. beacause they were dating each other more and more.
BUT.. the status of the relationship hadn't changed... Josh still didn't want to commit and Cami was still sick of letting him give her whip lash.. so.. I set Cami up with this great guy named Sean! ... myyyy bad (sorry Josh).
She told me they were still dating other people! Which They were.. are.. whatever. So. Cami went on the date.. she had a GREAT time and she really liked the boy! (just call me match maker)
When Josh found out about the date.. he. was. PISSED!!!!! He told her that it had COMPLETELY caught him off guard and that he NEVER thought she would go on a date with the way their relationship had been progressing! He told her that he didn't want to share her with ANYONE else.. and it was reallllyyy gettin under his skin..
After this big dramatic scene.. speech.. and what Cami thought was a change in the wind coming.. Did anything change? ... you guessed it... NOPE.
Josh and Cami are caught in the Circle of Love..
Because Josh thought that Sean wanted Cami.. all of the sudden HE wanted her..
Because Cami was momentarily out of reach for Josh.. he wanted to be with her..
Ya the date slapped him around a little bit.. but because it didn't help push him in Cami's direction indefinitely.. Cami's convinced that all he wants to do is play games with her.. and she thinks he'll never commit... that if she keeps her heart invested in Josh.. that she's gonna die alone.
The games going on between them aren't playa playa games.. they're not waiting a certain amount of time to return phone calls and flirting with best friends to cause reactions.. but they're still caught in the revolving door of 'to commit.. or not commit..' that is the question..
With the recent developments.. my advice for Cami is until he makes you his girlfriend.. you guys are STILL dating other people.. so KEEP dating other people.. if anything it'll make Josh realize that he DOES want to be with you and he really doesn't want to share you with the rest of the world.. or the football team..
AND by dating quality guys like Sean.. if something else comes along that ends up being better than Josh.. you're in a win-win situation girlfriend.
When i was in 8th grade.. a new boy named Jake moved to my middle school. He was cute..he was mysterious.. for an 8th grader.. and heck. EVERY girl in the 8th grade wanted to be with him.
So... naturally.. i was determined to be the one that came out on top.
I would call him.. flirt with him at school.. and started working my way into his mind and onto his radar. The more i got to know him.. the more i was like eh.. i don't really like this kid..
but THEN.. one of my not-so-close friends Sally announced to all of our friends at a sleepover that she was about to make Jake her boyfriend.. she basically had it in the bag....
Guess who ended up kissing Jake 2 days later and having him ask to be his girlfriend...
i TOLD YOU.... DON'T CHALLENGE ME! ..
buuut long story short.. our 8th grade relationship lasted all whole whopping 12 days before i realized that.. no. i really didn't like this kid at all.. i just had to WIN! so.. we broke up.. and i left Sally to happily sloppy seconds..
i was like a dog with a car... they chase them and chase them.. and then once they catch up with them.. then what..?
So many of us play games with OURSELVES because we either.. think we want something because other people bring it to our attention.. and once we get it.. we realize that we never wanted it in the first place..
OR.. like Cami and Josh.. we have something great yet we run around and around in circles until someone ELSE comes with big flashing lights to sweep your not-really-but going to be very soon- girlfriend off her feat. We have to get a serious slap in the face to pull our head out of our hiney!!
STOP the circle of love! STOP chasing cars just to chase them.. evaluate where YOU stand in your relationships.. or hook ups or whatever your doing.. WITHOUT the influence of the world..
in YOUR mind and heart does this seem right..? If the answer is yes.. and you haven't done anything about it.. you are a fool.
Josh.. if you can't live without Cami.. make the dang chick your woman.
Dog.. stop chasing car.. when you catch it.. all you will have accomplished is.. well.. nothing. knock it off.
Until tomorrow! xoxo
-McComplicated
March 16, 2011
.. Control Freak ..
Life is all about managing expectations... communication... honesty... understanding... and facing reality.
If a team that has..2 blind kids.. a kid with no foot.. and has a total scoring average of -4 1/2 points a season.. goes up against the lakers.. and they KNOW with all of their heart that they're gonna come out on top!.. that THIS is their game.. and no kolby bryant is gonna stop THEM!.... they're gonna walk away slittin some SERIOUS wrists!
But.. if they realistically look at the situation... if the coach REALLY prepares them for the beating they're about to encounter... they might walk away saying... 'GUYS!! we held kobe to 205 POINTS!!!!!! lets go for freakin ICE CREAM!!'
If you are set up on a blind date.. you get the guys name.. look him up on FB.. and he's a TOTAL stud..
Then... he comes to pick you up.. and you assume this must be his.. ugly..fat..hairy.. bald.. father... let's just say it's not a good situation... BUT. if you had seen RECENT pictures.. you could embrace the monkey before you in a much less shocked fashion.. you could a) have said NO. or b) have known what you were getting yourself into.
You set the expectation based on the information you're given. And from there you adjust your reality to accept your set expectation. If false expectations are set from bad information and you adjust your reality around it... people are bound to get hurt.
In "A Walk To Remember" Jamie Sullivan is avoided like the plague at school... let's just say she doesn't exactly fit in. Landon Carter.. one of the 'popular punks' at the high school, had been secretly meeting with her at her house to run lines for the spring play. She was doing him a HUGE favor cuz he needed some serrrrious help..
They had gotten together a couple times when Jamie saw Landon at school with his friends. She walked up, and all she said was.. "so i'll see you after school..?" Landon.. obviously fitting the mold of retardedly self conscious senior boy that cares more about his status than the worth of other people... looks at her with his cocky grin.. and says .."maybe in your dreams.." BAM. knife through the heart.
THEN.. he has the nerve to show up at her house!
If Jamie had been prepared for what was coming from Landon... her reality would've been 'oh.. that's a typical response.. he's with his friends.. he cares about his image.. we're not friends.. and we study in secret anyway..' But because her reality had been altered with false expectations.. that they were friends outside of their bubble.. outside of studying lines at her house.. she was crushed.
Same experience... just felt, viewed, and experienced completely differently.
Now in relationships... communication is KEY! Communication is what sets the expectations..
If Luke communicates with Shelby that he'll pick her up at 5:30.. and then shows up at 7.. Shelby is gonna get PISSED. and she has every right to! He set her expectation at 5:30....
now.. 7.. that's not even late in the night. There would still be PLENTY of time to go and do whatever they wanted to do... but if he was gonna come at 7... he should've said 7!! She altered her reality to accommodate being ready by 5:30.. and he shattered the reality by showing up late late late.
Girls always expect guys to know what makes us happy. We want them to know the secrets of our universe without ever telling them.. "if you had to TELL him what your favorite flower was then its not as cuuuute! he should just KNOW!"
"Duuh Tommy.. i HATE mexican food! how DARE you take me here! you should just KNOW these things!"
"Duuuuh... his cologn is SOOO gross... he totally KNOWS i hate it! he wears it JUST TO BUG ME!!"
Sorry girls... as much as you think they can... guys can't read minds. Flip.. they can barely read emotions!
if you want something done.. something acknowledged.. or something changed.. you have to give it to them on a silver platter with flashing lights.. sometimes several times.
After they ACTUALLY know.. instead of you thinking they know.. THEN and only then can you hold them accountable for doing or not doing.
You have to communicate what your expectations are so that your realities are the same.. if you dont... it'll be like you're on 2 different planets!
Tell them what makes you happy! i promise they want to know!
Communicate with each other the limits and expectations of whatever sort of relationship you're in..
I have a perfect example...
My friend Amy was hangin out with a guy named Danny. They spent a lot of time together.. and things were progressing by the day. They liked each other.. they enjoyed being together.. they had a lot of fun.. But when it came to the "us" part of them.. they never really talked about it.. they thought it was unnecessary this early on.
So. they avoided any form of DTRs all together whenever they got brought up..
Amy was a hottie tottie.. and started getting asked out on a bunch of dates by other guys.
In fear of breaking their no dtr record... she didn't want to bring it up.. She assumed that if they weren't dating other people that he would've said something..
i mean DUUH he's the guy.. he would've taken initiative and said 'amy.. we're now exclusively dating.." or 'while we're figuring stuff out let's only date each other..' or even... 'soo uuh.. i'm not dating anyone else.. are you?'
BUUUUT.. Danny hadn't said anything. So... in her mind.. if she were to say no to these dates.. she would be making an even bigger statement than if she were to go on them! SHE would be defining the relationship by NOT dating other people when she had the opportunity to.. which would turn into HER being the one that cared more... HER being the needy clingy chick.. and HER missing out on opportunities that HE was probably taking anyway!!
Now... Danny knew that they hadn't addressed the DTR issues.. to him.. they were 'unnecessary this early on'.. they were just chillin! and plus.... if they wanted to date other people.. they would've talked about it! They obviously were just dating each other.. just not super seriously yet. I mean.. how could they NOT be... they spent so much time together..
uh oh....
so. Danny wanted to hang out with Amy one night.. but Amy had a date so she told him she had plans... Danny went to dinner with his buddy Brad.. and SHOWED UP AT THE RESTAURANT!!
Because their realities couldn't be more different... both of them got hurt. Danny was hurt because he was shocked. the communication hadn't been there! His reality was rocked HARD..
Amy was hurt.. because Danny was hurt. Her date with bachelor #1 didn't MEAN anything to her.. but because it had been handled like THIS.. it did more damage than it ever should have!
If they had only communicated.. gotten on the same page about things.. their realities would have been the same... whether Danny knew and was OK with Amy dating other dudes.. or Amy knew that Danny didn't want her to..
They're expectations were different and therefore unmet by each other.
If you're in a relationship.. or 'hanging out' or whatever.. and one person thinks you're kissing other people.. and the other person doesn't.. and then it gets brought to the surface that the one that thought you were HAD been kissing other people... people are gonna get hurt!
Even if the kisses meant nothing.. even if you only care about each other..
expectations are set. realities are altered around them.. and they remain unmet without communication!
In this day and age.. rumors and gossip pretty much RUN relationships.
We give other people the power to control our lives through the things that they say..
Last night i watched the 'After the Final Rose' of the bachelor..
i know i've said how much i can't stand the show.. buuuut...
Brad and Emily had to address the issue of Rumors and Gossip on an extreme level.. through paparazzi and tabloids.
They could either trust each other.. or not.
They could either communicate clearly and keep their relationship between THEM.. or they could open themselves up to ridicule and dumb rumors that would most likely tear them apart!!
Emily could believe that Brad is a crack addict that has been married 14 times in 9 countries.. most likely has 35 kids runnin around... that he robs banks and feeds off small children... orrrrr she can NOT.
For some reason.. whether you're the bachelor or not... the world doesn't like to see people happy... When something good is formed and good things are happening between 2 people... other people can't HELP but meddle! It comes as second nature!
Especially while relationships are being formed.. on ANY level.. friendships.. 'hangin out' (yuck).. 'just chillin'.. sort of dating.. pretty much dating.. full blown dating.. marriages.. all of the above... it's soooo important to make sure that the sources you are trusting and basing your realty off of.. are EACH OTHER!
That the expectations you set are based on open communication with the other person! NOT based on what 25 other people think about what is going on between you!
Don't let others define your lives.. Don't let others define your relationships..
make your reality one that YOU want to live in.. Set your expectations to where you aren't going to be disappointed in each other.
If you want someone to make you happy... let them KNOW what makes you happy!
Take control of who controls your life.
Until tomorrow!
xoxo
Callymon
If a team that has..2 blind kids.. a kid with no foot.. and has a total scoring average of -4 1/2 points a season.. goes up against the lakers.. and they KNOW with all of their heart that they're gonna come out on top!.. that THIS is their game.. and no kolby bryant is gonna stop THEM!.... they're gonna walk away slittin some SERIOUS wrists!
But.. if they realistically look at the situation... if the coach REALLY prepares them for the beating they're about to encounter... they might walk away saying... 'GUYS!! we held kobe to 205 POINTS!!!!!! lets go for freakin ICE CREAM!!'
If you are set up on a blind date.. you get the guys name.. look him up on FB.. and he's a TOTAL stud..
Then... he comes to pick you up.. and you assume this must be his.. ugly..fat..hairy.. bald.. father... let's just say it's not a good situation... BUT. if you had seen RECENT pictures.. you could embrace the monkey before you in a much less shocked fashion.. you could a) have said NO. or b) have known what you were getting yourself into.
You set the expectation based on the information you're given. And from there you adjust your reality to accept your set expectation. If false expectations are set from bad information and you adjust your reality around it... people are bound to get hurt.
In "A Walk To Remember" Jamie Sullivan is avoided like the plague at school... let's just say she doesn't exactly fit in. Landon Carter.. one of the 'popular punks' at the high school, had been secretly meeting with her at her house to run lines for the spring play. She was doing him a HUGE favor cuz he needed some serrrrious help..
They had gotten together a couple times when Jamie saw Landon at school with his friends. She walked up, and all she said was.. "so i'll see you after school..?" Landon.. obviously fitting the mold of retardedly self conscious senior boy that cares more about his status than the worth of other people... looks at her with his cocky grin.. and says .."maybe in your dreams.." BAM. knife through the heart.
THEN.. he has the nerve to show up at her house!
If Jamie had been prepared for what was coming from Landon... her reality would've been 'oh.. that's a typical response.. he's with his friends.. he cares about his image.. we're not friends.. and we study in secret anyway..' But because her reality had been altered with false expectations.. that they were friends outside of their bubble.. outside of studying lines at her house.. she was crushed.
Same experience... just felt, viewed, and experienced completely differently.
Now in relationships... communication is KEY! Communication is what sets the expectations..
If Luke communicates with Shelby that he'll pick her up at 5:30.. and then shows up at 7.. Shelby is gonna get PISSED. and she has every right to! He set her expectation at 5:30....
now.. 7.. that's not even late in the night. There would still be PLENTY of time to go and do whatever they wanted to do... but if he was gonna come at 7... he should've said 7!! She altered her reality to accommodate being ready by 5:30.. and he shattered the reality by showing up late late late.
Girls always expect guys to know what makes us happy. We want them to know the secrets of our universe without ever telling them.. "if you had to TELL him what your favorite flower was then its not as cuuuute! he should just KNOW!"
"Duuh Tommy.. i HATE mexican food! how DARE you take me here! you should just KNOW these things!"
"Duuuuh... his cologn is SOOO gross... he totally KNOWS i hate it! he wears it JUST TO BUG ME!!"
Sorry girls... as much as you think they can... guys can't read minds. Flip.. they can barely read emotions!
if you want something done.. something acknowledged.. or something changed.. you have to give it to them on a silver platter with flashing lights.. sometimes several times.
After they ACTUALLY know.. instead of you thinking they know.. THEN and only then can you hold them accountable for doing or not doing.
You have to communicate what your expectations are so that your realities are the same.. if you dont... it'll be like you're on 2 different planets!
Tell them what makes you happy! i promise they want to know!
Communicate with each other the limits and expectations of whatever sort of relationship you're in..
I have a perfect example...
My friend Amy was hangin out with a guy named Danny. They spent a lot of time together.. and things were progressing by the day. They liked each other.. they enjoyed being together.. they had a lot of fun.. But when it came to the "us" part of them.. they never really talked about it.. they thought it was unnecessary this early on.
So. they avoided any form of DTRs all together whenever they got brought up..
Amy was a hottie tottie.. and started getting asked out on a bunch of dates by other guys.
In fear of breaking their no dtr record... she didn't want to bring it up.. She assumed that if they weren't dating other people that he would've said something..
i mean DUUH he's the guy.. he would've taken initiative and said 'amy.. we're now exclusively dating.." or 'while we're figuring stuff out let's only date each other..' or even... 'soo uuh.. i'm not dating anyone else.. are you?'
BUUUUT.. Danny hadn't said anything. So... in her mind.. if she were to say no to these dates.. she would be making an even bigger statement than if she were to go on them! SHE would be defining the relationship by NOT dating other people when she had the opportunity to.. which would turn into HER being the one that cared more... HER being the needy clingy chick.. and HER missing out on opportunities that HE was probably taking anyway!!
Now... Danny knew that they hadn't addressed the DTR issues.. to him.. they were 'unnecessary this early on'.. they were just chillin! and plus.... if they wanted to date other people.. they would've talked about it! They obviously were just dating each other.. just not super seriously yet. I mean.. how could they NOT be... they spent so much time together..
uh oh....
so. Danny wanted to hang out with Amy one night.. but Amy had a date so she told him she had plans... Danny went to dinner with his buddy Brad.. and SHOWED UP AT THE RESTAURANT!!
Because their realities couldn't be more different... both of them got hurt. Danny was hurt because he was shocked. the communication hadn't been there! His reality was rocked HARD..
Amy was hurt.. because Danny was hurt. Her date with bachelor #1 didn't MEAN anything to her.. but because it had been handled like THIS.. it did more damage than it ever should have!
If they had only communicated.. gotten on the same page about things.. their realities would have been the same... whether Danny knew and was OK with Amy dating other dudes.. or Amy knew that Danny didn't want her to..
They're expectations were different and therefore unmet by each other.
If you're in a relationship.. or 'hanging out' or whatever.. and one person thinks you're kissing other people.. and the other person doesn't.. and then it gets brought to the surface that the one that thought you were HAD been kissing other people... people are gonna get hurt!
Even if the kisses meant nothing.. even if you only care about each other..
expectations are set. realities are altered around them.. and they remain unmet without communication!
In this day and age.. rumors and gossip pretty much RUN relationships.
We give other people the power to control our lives through the things that they say..
Last night i watched the 'After the Final Rose' of the bachelor..
i know i've said how much i can't stand the show.. buuuut...
Brad and Emily had to address the issue of Rumors and Gossip on an extreme level.. through paparazzi and tabloids.
They could either trust each other.. or not.
They could either communicate clearly and keep their relationship between THEM.. or they could open themselves up to ridicule and dumb rumors that would most likely tear them apart!!
Emily could believe that Brad is a crack addict that has been married 14 times in 9 countries.. most likely has 35 kids runnin around... that he robs banks and feeds off small children... orrrrr she can NOT.
For some reason.. whether you're the bachelor or not... the world doesn't like to see people happy... When something good is formed and good things are happening between 2 people... other people can't HELP but meddle! It comes as second nature!
Especially while relationships are being formed.. on ANY level.. friendships.. 'hangin out' (yuck).. 'just chillin'.. sort of dating.. pretty much dating.. full blown dating.. marriages.. all of the above... it's soooo important to make sure that the sources you are trusting and basing your realty off of.. are EACH OTHER!
That the expectations you set are based on open communication with the other person! NOT based on what 25 other people think about what is going on between you!
Don't let others define your lives.. Don't let others define your relationships..
make your reality one that YOU want to live in.. Set your expectations to where you aren't going to be disappointed in each other.
If you want someone to make you happy... let them KNOW what makes you happy!
Take control of who controls your life.
Until tomorrow!
xoxo
Callymon
March 15, 2011
.. Girls Rule - Boys Drool ..
We live everyday like spoiled brats.
We have drive thru's.. ATM fast cash.. facebook on our cell phones... multiple choice tests.. lap tops.. remotes..
We have the privilege and curse of having the option to choose.
We are spoiled rotten with all the choices in our day.. frosted flakes or golden grams... pizza or pasta... that we're paralyzed by the decision making process.
We're so scared to make ONE decision... because it eliminates other options! So scared to make a commitment to something because it closes other doors.
In the world of food.. the geniuses of grub came up with a solution... the combo.
You can get a half a sandwich with a little cup of soup and a side salad and no one will even look at you weird!
You go RIGHT ahead and mix those frosted flakes with the Lucky charms and captain crunch and call it an epic breakfast!
You never HAVE to let one of the options go. You don't have to make the life changing decision between Pizza or cookies... they even cost less if you get them together!
Go cut AND color your hair. It'll look better if you don't choose between them..
You know what the so called "solution" that men of our day have come up with for this? hanging out.
The most dreaded sentence of a single girls life... "Can't we just..uhh.. hang out..?"
No you tool. Just because you want to legally be able to date like 25 chicks.. kiss them all.. never have to commit to any of them past what you want to... STILL have them at your beckon call because you lead them on enough to think it's eventually going somewhere.. and make them believe that eventually this "hanging out" will magically emerge to you dumping your other options and committing to them.... who do you think you are? The bachelor? No. FALSE. bad. retarded. we want BOYFRIENDS dang it! Not buddies!
NO boy. You CAN'T treat a girl like a disposable plate that you can either wash off or throw away when you want to.
You CAN'T be given the option to dilly and dally around not knowing what you want or when you want it and expect a standing ovation when you come to your senses!
You CAN'T hang out with 10 of us.. screw with our emotions.. and not expect a war.. or at least a few choice words from yours truly.
I have a theory...
When we're like 5 years old.. we learn a couple things that later on in life we think we've grown out of.. Girls rule - Boys drool... Boys have cooties.. no means no... never date a musician.. and when you get old enough.. hang out at the law school or medical school as much as you can..
These things have crossed my mind a time or two through recent experiences and serious vent sesh's with my girlfriends...
All of us should go home.. shake our parents..and say.. "WHHHHYYYYY DIDN'T YOU MAKE ME LISTEN TO YOU WHEN I WAS 5?!! obviously i don't care what you say NOW.. but you coulda DONE something then!!!"
Girls rule.. Boys drool? This should be a billboard.. a class.. a moto.. a theme.. SOMETHING epic!
Girl's Rule:
Girls are the boss. Happy wife happy life... happy girlfriend or broken nose..
Girls are the rock in the relationship. We know what we want.. even if the dude can't figure out what it is most of the time.. We understand the ups and downs.. and we put up with waaaayyy more crap than we ever should have to!
Girls... how many of us can HONESTLY say that we prefer being single over being in a relationship? ..... if you answered yes... you're either in denial.. or you just got out of a realllll bad relationship and.. sorry hun... you're in denial.
The ONLY reason we even go through the sucky thing we call dating..or in most cases.. "hanging out".. is to find the right one.
The one we don't HAVE to wear make up around cuz he thinks we're beautiful without it..
The one we don't EVER have to worry about anything with cuz we know he's gonna stick around no matter what..
The one we can stay home and watch movies and take naps with and not feel bad AT ALL for not going out..
we sit. we wait. we hope. and freakin PRAY he's out there! As we patiently prepare ourselves to be the best dang girlfriend he's ever had!
In elementary school... when they throw rocks at us... we're told it means they like us...
obviously it's THIS age that they start handing crack out to little boys.... "hey boys.. if you like a girl.. no no don't smile at her.. dont you DARE hold her hand... NEVER tell her you think she's cute... hey i know!!! THROW ROCKS AT HER!" .. good plan retards. you give us just as much brain damage as you give yourselves.
While the cute little girls giggle and say... "mom! tommy threw a rock at me today!!! maybe TOMORROW.... he'll pull my hair!!!! we're progressing so wonderfully!"
Jr. High and High School.... They finally decide they like us and they wanna show us... but they also like her.. and her.. and her.. AND HER... so.. they either play us like an xbox or they keep things casual enough that "they're doing nothing wrong".
Girls... Allow me to take you to "grow some guts class"..
I have a couple friends in very different areas of the dating spectrum.. Of course.. like i said.. we had major vent sesh's this weekend.. so allow me to share their pain with you...
First up is Sarah....
She's hopelessly devotedly head over heels heart stoppin booty shakin wanna tie the knot in LOVE with this boy Darren.
Sarah.. being a girl.. rules. She is the boss of her emotions. She knows what she wants. She knows its Darren.. Because she's a girl.. she's also gonna wait for Darren to stop being a tool and realize that he wants to be with her.
..... She's been waiting a year and a half.
Darren on the other hand.. being a dude.. drools. He drools over stacy...He drools over Cami.. he drools when it comes to commitment..He knows he wants to be with Sarah.. He's TOLD sarah he wants to be with her.. But.. HE DROOLS...
He's so afraid to commit to Sarah because it eliminates stacy.. cami.. the option to walk into a party and dance freely to 'single ladies'.
What if as soon as he committed to Sarah.. he were to find something ELSE.. something potentially BETTER.....
Gross darren you tool. Sarah waits patiently for you to start thinkin with your mind.. or at least your heart!... instead of something else.. while you take her for granted and play games with her mind to make sure she sticks around.. to make sure she's still an OPTION for you.
Sarah... i'm gonna send you into classroom #1.
The first thing you need to do hun is look HOT. Although the saying 'you don't know what you got til it's gone' is very true... obviously you're not ready to be 'gone' yet.. so we'll add the statement... 'a dude doesn't know what he's got.. or how smokin hot his -should be- girlfriend is.. until a bunch of other dudes tell him'!! Make friends with his friends. Go places with him. Save the sweats and no make up for a couple weeks.. make him CRAZY with your smokin hot good looks.. and the whole time you have the attitude of.. what? this old thing? naahh..
Second... HAVE WITNESSES! YOU know you're good to him. HE knows you're good to him... has this gotten you anywhere this far? NO! Other people obviously need to validate your tool of a wanna be boyfriend.. so.. you being good to him in front of those he cares about.. will serve you in ways you don't even know.
You know how we tell our hair dressers EVERYTHING..? I'm pretty sure a locker room is the same to a guy as a salon is to us... secrets of the universe are revealed! Guys talk. And whether they want to admit it or not... they all want a smokin hot amazing girlfriend EVENTUALLY.. they're all just in different 'drooling phases'..
Those who have grown out of their toolishness will give advice to those going through it that.. hey bud.. if you have a chick.. that's smokin hot.. and THAT good to you... what the heck are you doin with stacy cami and laquesha? MAKE A MOVE.. before she moves away!!
and last.... You need to set a time limit.
I know this is hard. and i KNOW that you would wait until the end of the earth and longer for this kid. But clearly it is hurting you.. and some boys never grow up. This taking you for granted stuff could be more than just a phase.. and if he doesn't know what an amazing girl he has waiting for him.. then he doesn't deserve you. A year and a half is a LONG time chica.. YOU know your emotions.. YOU know your time frame.. but you also need to know your limits.. how much can one heart take..? Don't stick around to find out.
The second Girl is Jenny.
Jenny is in her quest for finding the right guy..or at least she PRETENDS she's still on the quest..
Not gonna lie.. Jenny has MAD swag!
She's dating a Utah football player.. a BYU football player.. A Law school student.. and a model... HELLO... we should worship jenny.. you go glen coco.
HOWEVER... she.. like the rest of us.. is also waiting around for a guy. His name is Cam. Although her dating roster may be longer than some of ours... there is ONE that she wants to be with. BUT.. he has commitment issues.. weird right..? Guys NEVER have those..
Cam thinks they should date other people while they're dating each other to not only keep it casual.. but to make sure they're right for each other.
So.... she's been going out with this one kid in particular in the off periods of their on and off-ness. His name is Marcus. Marcus has fallin in love with her.
She didn't realize how often she was going out with Marcus because her mind and heart were with Sir. waitsalot.. But.. turns out. there have been SEVERAL dates.. waaaaayyy more than she thought.
She doesn't want to stop dating him because she likes Marus to a certain extent.. and she HAS to be dating SOMEONE else or she'll give up the upper hand and casual attitude with Cam.. But the more she dates Marcus.. the more he wants to be with her.
Jenny... you're going to classroom #2.
I know you like spending time with Marcus.. But even dating someone that you enjoy being with... but you don't see it going anywhere.. is BAD.
you're wasting Marcus's time.. Your time.. and I would say Cam's time but honey... you wanna address Cam issues.. go to class with Sarah!
I promise you are doing the right thing by telling Marcus that.. although you guys have a lot of fun.. you don't see it going anywhere and he's such a great guy that you would be selfish to waste his time that he could be spending with someone better for him.
Done and done.
Let him go you heart throb.
The last Girl's name is Odette.
Odette and her boyfriend Derek have been dating for almost 2 years. They. Are. Perfect.
If there was a hallmark card for relationships.. they would be on the cover. THEY should stand on top of wedding cakes. You wanna kill em its so perfect.
Odette rules.. she's not afraid to take charge in the relationship and let derek know how she feels.. She loves him and would do anything for him.. but she's not whipped to a pulp like the rest of us. It's a mutual respect relationship.
Derek drools... over odette. He would walk through earth wind and fire for her. They are literally each other's everything.
They're homies. They're lovers. They're best friends. They're giggle buddies. They're running partners. Cuddle kittens. Xbox competitors. ALL of the above.
Odette will be in class room #3.
The lesson she needs to learn is.. HANG ON TO THAT ONE!!!
She thinks that the fire is dimming.. that 2 years is a long time.. that this comfortability could get old...
honey child... YOU have what ALLLLL of us are looking for... if you let it go. YOU. ARE. INSANE.
If you don't love him.. say goodbye. if you do... say HELLLOOOO lets get married!
The reason it's worked out so amazing is she hasn't changed herself for him... they've grown together. She hasn't been his puppy dog.. they basically COMPETE for who can do more for the other.. When you all get in a relationship like Odette and Derek.. that is clearly gonna last Far longer than Forever... MARRY THE DUDE.
Be ok with being happy. Be absolutely content with having someone who loves you! Don't look for a chase. you'll get tired of running and want to be exactly where you are!
Bottom line..
Girls.. you need to decide what you want and what's fair to you. The guys.. they're CLUELESS.. they have no IDEA what they want. They want the combo.. a little stacy.. a little Cami.. a little frosted flakes.. If you give them exactly what they want they'll let you chase them and chase them until they break their legs and are FORCED to stop and realize that you're the best thing for them.
You deserve someone who knows how great you are. Someone who would take a bullet for you.. or a rock. You are smokin hot.. you are incredible. and the right guy is waiting around some corner that will trip you and make you fall in love with him. OR.. your tool box of a dude now.. will finally get his act together.
They all come around eventually...
and when they do. make em work for it..
cuz remember GIRLS RULE.. BOYS DROOL.
Until tomorrow! or later today..
xoxox
Mclovin.
We have drive thru's.. ATM fast cash.. facebook on our cell phones... multiple choice tests.. lap tops.. remotes..
We have the privilege and curse of having the option to choose.
We are spoiled rotten with all the choices in our day.. frosted flakes or golden grams... pizza or pasta... that we're paralyzed by the decision making process.
We're so scared to make ONE decision... because it eliminates other options! So scared to make a commitment to something because it closes other doors.
In the world of food.. the geniuses of grub came up with a solution... the combo.
You can get a half a sandwich with a little cup of soup and a side salad and no one will even look at you weird!
You go RIGHT ahead and mix those frosted flakes with the Lucky charms and captain crunch and call it an epic breakfast!
You never HAVE to let one of the options go. You don't have to make the life changing decision between Pizza or cookies... they even cost less if you get them together!
Go cut AND color your hair. It'll look better if you don't choose between them..
You know what the so called "solution" that men of our day have come up with for this? hanging out.
The most dreaded sentence of a single girls life... "Can't we just..uhh.. hang out..?"
No you tool. Just because you want to legally be able to date like 25 chicks.. kiss them all.. never have to commit to any of them past what you want to... STILL have them at your beckon call because you lead them on enough to think it's eventually going somewhere.. and make them believe that eventually this "hanging out" will magically emerge to you dumping your other options and committing to them.... who do you think you are? The bachelor? No. FALSE. bad. retarded. we want BOYFRIENDS dang it! Not buddies!
NO boy. You CAN'T treat a girl like a disposable plate that you can either wash off or throw away when you want to.
You CAN'T be given the option to dilly and dally around not knowing what you want or when you want it and expect a standing ovation when you come to your senses!
You CAN'T hang out with 10 of us.. screw with our emotions.. and not expect a war.. or at least a few choice words from yours truly.
I have a theory...
When we're like 5 years old.. we learn a couple things that later on in life we think we've grown out of.. Girls rule - Boys drool... Boys have cooties.. no means no... never date a musician.. and when you get old enough.. hang out at the law school or medical school as much as you can..
These things have crossed my mind a time or two through recent experiences and serious vent sesh's with my girlfriends...
All of us should go home.. shake our parents..and say.. "WHHHHYYYYY DIDN'T YOU MAKE ME LISTEN TO YOU WHEN I WAS 5?!! obviously i don't care what you say NOW.. but you coulda DONE something then!!!"
Girls rule.. Boys drool? This should be a billboard.. a class.. a moto.. a theme.. SOMETHING epic!
Girl's Rule:
Girls are the boss. Happy wife happy life... happy girlfriend or broken nose..
Girls are the rock in the relationship. We know what we want.. even if the dude can't figure out what it is most of the time.. We understand the ups and downs.. and we put up with waaaayyy more crap than we ever should have to!
Girls... how many of us can HONESTLY say that we prefer being single over being in a relationship? ..... if you answered yes... you're either in denial.. or you just got out of a realllll bad relationship and.. sorry hun... you're in denial.
The ONLY reason we even go through the sucky thing we call dating..or in most cases.. "hanging out".. is to find the right one.
The one we don't HAVE to wear make up around cuz he thinks we're beautiful without it..
The one we don't EVER have to worry about anything with cuz we know he's gonna stick around no matter what..
The one we can stay home and watch movies and take naps with and not feel bad AT ALL for not going out..
we sit. we wait. we hope. and freakin PRAY he's out there! As we patiently prepare ourselves to be the best dang girlfriend he's ever had!
In elementary school... when they throw rocks at us... we're told it means they like us...
obviously it's THIS age that they start handing crack out to little boys.... "hey boys.. if you like a girl.. no no don't smile at her.. dont you DARE hold her hand... NEVER tell her you think she's cute... hey i know!!! THROW ROCKS AT HER!" .. good plan retards. you give us just as much brain damage as you give yourselves.
While the cute little girls giggle and say... "mom! tommy threw a rock at me today!!! maybe TOMORROW.... he'll pull my hair!!!! we're progressing so wonderfully!"
Jr. High and High School.... They finally decide they like us and they wanna show us... but they also like her.. and her.. and her.. AND HER... so.. they either play us like an xbox or they keep things casual enough that "they're doing nothing wrong".
Girls... Allow me to take you to "grow some guts class"..
I have a couple friends in very different areas of the dating spectrum.. Of course.. like i said.. we had major vent sesh's this weekend.. so allow me to share their pain with you...
First up is Sarah....
She's hopelessly devotedly head over heels heart stoppin booty shakin wanna tie the knot in LOVE with this boy Darren.
Sarah.. being a girl.. rules. She is the boss of her emotions. She knows what she wants. She knows its Darren.. Because she's a girl.. she's also gonna wait for Darren to stop being a tool and realize that he wants to be with her.
..... She's been waiting a year and a half.
Darren on the other hand.. being a dude.. drools. He drools over stacy...He drools over Cami.. he drools when it comes to commitment..He knows he wants to be with Sarah.. He's TOLD sarah he wants to be with her.. But.. HE DROOLS...
He's so afraid to commit to Sarah because it eliminates stacy.. cami.. the option to walk into a party and dance freely to 'single ladies'.
What if as soon as he committed to Sarah.. he were to find something ELSE.. something potentially BETTER.....
Gross darren you tool. Sarah waits patiently for you to start thinkin with your mind.. or at least your heart!... instead of something else.. while you take her for granted and play games with her mind to make sure she sticks around.. to make sure she's still an OPTION for you.
Sarah... i'm gonna send you into classroom #1.
The first thing you need to do hun is look HOT. Although the saying 'you don't know what you got til it's gone' is very true... obviously you're not ready to be 'gone' yet.. so we'll add the statement... 'a dude doesn't know what he's got.. or how smokin hot his -should be- girlfriend is.. until a bunch of other dudes tell him'!! Make friends with his friends. Go places with him. Save the sweats and no make up for a couple weeks.. make him CRAZY with your smokin hot good looks.. and the whole time you have the attitude of.. what? this old thing? naahh..
Second... HAVE WITNESSES! YOU know you're good to him. HE knows you're good to him... has this gotten you anywhere this far? NO! Other people obviously need to validate your tool of a wanna be boyfriend.. so.. you being good to him in front of those he cares about.. will serve you in ways you don't even know.
You know how we tell our hair dressers EVERYTHING..? I'm pretty sure a locker room is the same to a guy as a salon is to us... secrets of the universe are revealed! Guys talk. And whether they want to admit it or not... they all want a smokin hot amazing girlfriend EVENTUALLY.. they're all just in different 'drooling phases'..
Those who have grown out of their toolishness will give advice to those going through it that.. hey bud.. if you have a chick.. that's smokin hot.. and THAT good to you... what the heck are you doin with stacy cami and laquesha? MAKE A MOVE.. before she moves away!!
and last.... You need to set a time limit.
I know this is hard. and i KNOW that you would wait until the end of the earth and longer for this kid. But clearly it is hurting you.. and some boys never grow up. This taking you for granted stuff could be more than just a phase.. and if he doesn't know what an amazing girl he has waiting for him.. then he doesn't deserve you. A year and a half is a LONG time chica.. YOU know your emotions.. YOU know your time frame.. but you also need to know your limits.. how much can one heart take..? Don't stick around to find out.
The second Girl is Jenny.
Jenny is in her quest for finding the right guy..or at least she PRETENDS she's still on the quest..
Not gonna lie.. Jenny has MAD swag!
She's dating a Utah football player.. a BYU football player.. A Law school student.. and a model... HELLO... we should worship jenny.. you go glen coco.
HOWEVER... she.. like the rest of us.. is also waiting around for a guy. His name is Cam. Although her dating roster may be longer than some of ours... there is ONE that she wants to be with. BUT.. he has commitment issues.. weird right..? Guys NEVER have those..
Cam thinks they should date other people while they're dating each other to not only keep it casual.. but to make sure they're right for each other.
So.... she's been going out with this one kid in particular in the off periods of their on and off-ness. His name is Marcus. Marcus has fallin in love with her.
She didn't realize how often she was going out with Marcus because her mind and heart were with Sir. waitsalot.. But.. turns out. there have been SEVERAL dates.. waaaaayyy more than she thought.
She doesn't want to stop dating him because she likes Marus to a certain extent.. and she HAS to be dating SOMEONE else or she'll give up the upper hand and casual attitude with Cam.. But the more she dates Marcus.. the more he wants to be with her.
Jenny... you're going to classroom #2.
I know you like spending time with Marcus.. But even dating someone that you enjoy being with... but you don't see it going anywhere.. is BAD.
you're wasting Marcus's time.. Your time.. and I would say Cam's time but honey... you wanna address Cam issues.. go to class with Sarah!
I promise you are doing the right thing by telling Marcus that.. although you guys have a lot of fun.. you don't see it going anywhere and he's such a great guy that you would be selfish to waste his time that he could be spending with someone better for him.
Done and done.
Let him go you heart throb.
The last Girl's name is Odette.
Odette and her boyfriend Derek have been dating for almost 2 years. They. Are. Perfect.
If there was a hallmark card for relationships.. they would be on the cover. THEY should stand on top of wedding cakes. You wanna kill em its so perfect.
Odette rules.. she's not afraid to take charge in the relationship and let derek know how she feels.. She loves him and would do anything for him.. but she's not whipped to a pulp like the rest of us. It's a mutual respect relationship.
Derek drools... over odette. He would walk through earth wind and fire for her. They are literally each other's everything.
They're homies. They're lovers. They're best friends. They're giggle buddies. They're running partners. Cuddle kittens. Xbox competitors. ALL of the above.
Odette will be in class room #3.
The lesson she needs to learn is.. HANG ON TO THAT ONE!!!
She thinks that the fire is dimming.. that 2 years is a long time.. that this comfortability could get old...
honey child... YOU have what ALLLLL of us are looking for... if you let it go. YOU. ARE. INSANE.
If you don't love him.. say goodbye. if you do... say HELLLOOOO lets get married!
The reason it's worked out so amazing is she hasn't changed herself for him... they've grown together. She hasn't been his puppy dog.. they basically COMPETE for who can do more for the other.. When you all get in a relationship like Odette and Derek.. that is clearly gonna last Far longer than Forever... MARRY THE DUDE.
Be ok with being happy. Be absolutely content with having someone who loves you! Don't look for a chase. you'll get tired of running and want to be exactly where you are!
Bottom line..
Girls.. you need to decide what you want and what's fair to you. The guys.. they're CLUELESS.. they have no IDEA what they want. They want the combo.. a little stacy.. a little Cami.. a little frosted flakes.. If you give them exactly what they want they'll let you chase them and chase them until they break their legs and are FORCED to stop and realize that you're the best thing for them.
You deserve someone who knows how great you are. Someone who would take a bullet for you.. or a rock. You are smokin hot.. you are incredible. and the right guy is waiting around some corner that will trip you and make you fall in love with him. OR.. your tool box of a dude now.. will finally get his act together.
They all come around eventually...
and when they do. make em work for it..
cuz remember GIRLS RULE.. BOYS DROOL.
Until tomorrow! or later today..
xoxox
Mclovin.
March 10, 2011
Love Games...
Every couple has a story.. Every broken heart has it's past.. Every girl has the list of tool's she's dated before she found prince charming.. and every human being ALIVE has the book of unwritten rules about dating.
The rule book consists of the rules for "Playing the Game" some of us call Love.
How many times you have to run into someone before you can act interested in them... How many dates you go on before you pull out the big guns and curl your hair and put on the jeans that make your butt look fabulous.
How many dates do you HAVE to go on before you can kiss someone and maintain your "hardball" status..
How many days you have to wait before calling someone back..
How many days you have to wait before adding them on facebook... and how many dates you have to go on before you can post on their wall.. allowing their crazy ex's to now stalk you.. and letting everyone know that you know each other..
Games. Games. Games.
well.. every other game we play has players.. water boys.. play books.. rule books.. coaches.. all stars.. time outs.. penalties.. and clearly people score..
All these games we play also end with winners... and losers. nothing in between.
This game is no different.
**Rule: It's all about the chase...
There's a rule in this magnificent rule book.. that tells us that every guy wants a chase.
That if they think they have you.. they don't want you.. until they break your heart enough for you to walk away.. and then they come crawling.. usually at this point you're dating someone else.. or are too hurt to take them back....
...Who am i kidding.. usually at this point.. the chick blames herself.. takes him back with open arms.. and offers him a diet coke and a back massage.
This chase is set in motion by the lopsidedness of new relationships.
Unless you're one of the "michael bolton" exceptions that, like i said in the last post, make eye contact and float together.. One person's interest is sparked more than the other at the beginning.
The one who is less sure about the whole situation, not only gets the upper hand.. but they get the fanciest running shoes they can find.. as they begin their chase.
Now girls... i know if a guy makes you chase them.. it casts a spell over you.. lighting the fuse on your insecurities and overall drive for this boy.. it makes you want them more and more and more and MORE!!
The situation usually means he's dating other people.. he doesn't have his life together.. or he thinks you're too "Easy to get".
Dudes.. if a girl makes you chase them.. they don't care about losing you.. and therefore will watch you jump and dance through hoops while they sit there at their sleepovers with popcorn recapping what a fool you look like. Which sets the fuse in your male ego.. making you want them more.
i'm not even sure when a relationship reaches the phase where games are pushed aside and you're actually.. who would've thought.. IN a relationship! But when this point comes.. it's either dangerous.. cuz someone thinks "the fire is gone".. or.. lets be honest here.. ya get hitched.
At this point there's nothing else to figure out. You actually CARE about losing the other person.. so why would you run away from them? You CARE about their happiness so.. why would you make them sad or angry on purpose? THEIR happiness has a direct connection to YOUR happiness.. so why would you mess with it?
**Myth Buster: We only make someone chase us if we don't care about losing them.
**Rule: It's all up to the guy..
For centuries damsels in distress have waited patiently in their towers for their prince charming to ride up.. slay a dragon.. and rescue them.
Waited in their apartment allll night waiting for Prince charming to call them...
Waited for prince charming to kiss them...
Waited for prince charming to make every single plan.. complete their lives.. and tell them where to go.. what to do.. cuz without Prince Charming.. Princess lazy butt would be lost forever in some tower roasting marshmallows on dragon breath.
Heaven forbid there are such things as girls that know what they want..
That aren't afraid to get off their butts.. charge from the sidelines.. and make things happen.. The ones that slay their own dragon, and leave a note for Prince charming at the bottom of the tower that says.. "well.. i'm tired cuz i just slayed a friggin dragon.. so go get some grub and fix yourself up while i shower and take a 10 minute power nap and meet me at the bottom of the tower.. picnic basket and wedding ring in hand.. in like 45 minutes mmk? xo love - Princess legitness"
If you can't tell.. i'm a girl that's not afraid to fight for what she wants.
HOLD UP... yes, i believe that chivalry is absolutely NOT dead.. and i think the dude should put forth MAD effort and do everything prince charming would do if he had a dead fish as a girlfriend... HOWEVER.. i'm not gonna sit on my butt and expect him to do everything!
Girls.. its OK to call him first every once in a while.. it's OK to throw down and make some lip action happen!! It's ok to tell him what makes you happy!! how else is he freaking supposed to know?!
Help a Prince out here!! Slay a few dragons.. Take some initiative.. make him feel like he's not dating sleeping beauty!
**Myth Buster: It's only all up to the guy if you play dead! Girls if you want something.. go for it!
**Rule: if it's done over facebook.. it doesn't count
OK. so.. i began my facebook journey thinking that if anyone a)talks to me on fb first or b) asks for my number over facebook that is WRONG that is CREEPY and i'm going to end up on some late night.. dateline special because it's gonna be some 40 year old posing as justin bieber's hot older brother and i'm totally gonna fall for it and ALMOST get murdered!
But i've allowed myself to step into this new 'facebook' thing.
Hey. be honest with yourself... you KNOW unless a relationship status is confirmed on facebook it straight up DOESN'T COUNT. i don't care WHO you are! .. some people get facebook JUST to say they're in a relationship with someone!
So why can't friendships between people of the opposite sex be formed via facebook..?
the new rules:
1. they can't actually ask you on a date over facebook.. if they do you say 'homie.. pick up the phone or the answer is no'
2. They have to be able to be validated as a real person by at LEAST 5 people you know... we don't want anyone fallin off the face of the earth here
3. once the relationship leaves the facebook level.. you don't go back there.. you move forward... texting.. calling.. dating.. marriage.. whatev.
4. you tell NOBODY that you 'met him online' that sounds creepy.. you tell them you had mutual friends (which i'm sure you do.. check fb to make sure) that set you up... which if you think about is isn't a total lie here people.... you saw some hot guy.. saw that you had mutual friends with him.. added him.. and BOOOM! done and done.
**Myth buster: If it's COMPLETELY done over facebook it doesn't count... things can start there.. hey that's what social networking is FOR!
**Rule: all relationships have a formula.. if it worked for your friend that way.. it'll work for you.
FALSE!! every single relationship is as unique as a snowflake.. there are never 2 that are the same. My favorite is people that know 'exactly what you're going through'. I'm not saying they can't have an idea of what your going through and give you great advice that very well might come in handy through your trial but the emotions are different.. the people are different.. and the situation is therefore different.
JUST because your best friend was married 4 days after high school graduation and now has had 7 kids in 4 years doesn't mean that YOU will!
Just because your sister was married at 20 after dating the guy 11 days doesn't mean your relationship schedule is gonna go so easy breezy and beautiful...
There is no formula. There is no RIGHT way to fall or be in love. They're relationships between HUMANS.. and.. although some of us get DANG close.. NO HUMAN IS PERFECT! every single one of us is gonna have issues.. and they'll all be different. So, all of our relationships will be effected differently.
Let GO of the formula... let GO of the fact that you're the last one in your family to get married.. that you're the only one of your friends thats not in a relationship.. that your dude has taken TWICE as long as you thought to pop the question..
It's OK!! You are you. I am me. and John Jacob Jingle Himer Schmit is himself. we are not the same. our love lives will never be the same.
tackle your OWN demons. Don't let your grandmother pressure you into tackling more.
**Myth Buster: There IS no formula.. put the blinders up and focus on what is going on between YOU and YOUR BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND.. the world has no idea.. and they're only gonna screw it up.
So.. i know at the end of this i'm probably supposed to tell you to throw the rule book out the window..
But even in sports.. rules are there for a reason sometimes. However.. we all KNOW that these rules have exceptions.. loop holes.. and the dumb ones need to be ignored. Make a custom rule book for each relationship..
Out of every game there are winners.. and there are losers.
Don't play childish games.. you'll end up losing something amazing.
and if you choose to play any kind of game.. play the right kind..
you can always work to have more respect for or from someone.. you can always work to give someone a reason to love you more.. you don't have to play the "not gonna call YOU back.. not gonna call you FIRST.." games.
Re evaluate the relationships your in.. if you can't live without someone.. heLLLOO..
if you could never stand losing them.. quit the crap.. stop calling time out.. you've used up your penalties.. and you're about to foul out. The ref can only look the other way so many times.. step up your game before you lose.
Play to win.
PLay. Laugh. Grow.
xoxo
Princess Legitimacy
The rule book consists of the rules for "Playing the Game" some of us call Love.
How many times you have to run into someone before you can act interested in them... How many dates you go on before you pull out the big guns and curl your hair and put on the jeans that make your butt look fabulous.
How many dates do you HAVE to go on before you can kiss someone and maintain your "hardball" status..
How many days you have to wait before calling someone back..
How many days you have to wait before adding them on facebook... and how many dates you have to go on before you can post on their wall.. allowing their crazy ex's to now stalk you.. and letting everyone know that you know each other..
Games. Games. Games.
well.. every other game we play has players.. water boys.. play books.. rule books.. coaches.. all stars.. time outs.. penalties.. and clearly people score..
All these games we play also end with winners... and losers. nothing in between.
This game is no different.
**Rule: It's all about the chase...
There's a rule in this magnificent rule book.. that tells us that every guy wants a chase.
That if they think they have you.. they don't want you.. until they break your heart enough for you to walk away.. and then they come crawling.. usually at this point you're dating someone else.. or are too hurt to take them back....
...Who am i kidding.. usually at this point.. the chick blames herself.. takes him back with open arms.. and offers him a diet coke and a back massage.
This chase is set in motion by the lopsidedness of new relationships.
Unless you're one of the "michael bolton" exceptions that, like i said in the last post, make eye contact and float together.. One person's interest is sparked more than the other at the beginning.
The one who is less sure about the whole situation, not only gets the upper hand.. but they get the fanciest running shoes they can find.. as they begin their chase.
Now girls... i know if a guy makes you chase them.. it casts a spell over you.. lighting the fuse on your insecurities and overall drive for this boy.. it makes you want them more and more and more and MORE!!
The situation usually means he's dating other people.. he doesn't have his life together.. or he thinks you're too "Easy to get".
Dudes.. if a girl makes you chase them.. they don't care about losing you.. and therefore will watch you jump and dance through hoops while they sit there at their sleepovers with popcorn recapping what a fool you look like. Which sets the fuse in your male ego.. making you want them more.
i'm not even sure when a relationship reaches the phase where games are pushed aside and you're actually.. who would've thought.. IN a relationship! But when this point comes.. it's either dangerous.. cuz someone thinks "the fire is gone".. or.. lets be honest here.. ya get hitched.
At this point there's nothing else to figure out. You actually CARE about losing the other person.. so why would you run away from them? You CARE about their happiness so.. why would you make them sad or angry on purpose? THEIR happiness has a direct connection to YOUR happiness.. so why would you mess with it?
**Myth Buster: We only make someone chase us if we don't care about losing them.
**Rule: It's all up to the guy..
For centuries damsels in distress have waited patiently in their towers for their prince charming to ride up.. slay a dragon.. and rescue them.
Waited in their apartment allll night waiting for Prince charming to call them...
Waited for prince charming to kiss them...
Waited for prince charming to make every single plan.. complete their lives.. and tell them where to go.. what to do.. cuz without Prince Charming.. Princess lazy butt would be lost forever in some tower roasting marshmallows on dragon breath.
Heaven forbid there are such things as girls that know what they want..
That aren't afraid to get off their butts.. charge from the sidelines.. and make things happen.. The ones that slay their own dragon, and leave a note for Prince charming at the bottom of the tower that says.. "well.. i'm tired cuz i just slayed a friggin dragon.. so go get some grub and fix yourself up while i shower and take a 10 minute power nap and meet me at the bottom of the tower.. picnic basket and wedding ring in hand.. in like 45 minutes mmk? xo love - Princess legitness"
If you can't tell.. i'm a girl that's not afraid to fight for what she wants.
HOLD UP... yes, i believe that chivalry is absolutely NOT dead.. and i think the dude should put forth MAD effort and do everything prince charming would do if he had a dead fish as a girlfriend... HOWEVER.. i'm not gonna sit on my butt and expect him to do everything!
Girls.. its OK to call him first every once in a while.. it's OK to throw down and make some lip action happen!! It's ok to tell him what makes you happy!! how else is he freaking supposed to know?!
Help a Prince out here!! Slay a few dragons.. Take some initiative.. make him feel like he's not dating sleeping beauty!
**Myth Buster: It's only all up to the guy if you play dead! Girls if you want something.. go for it!
**Rule: if it's done over facebook.. it doesn't count
OK. so.. i began my facebook journey thinking that if anyone a)talks to me on fb first or b) asks for my number over facebook that is WRONG that is CREEPY and i'm going to end up on some late night.. dateline special because it's gonna be some 40 year old posing as justin bieber's hot older brother and i'm totally gonna fall for it and ALMOST get murdered!
But i've allowed myself to step into this new 'facebook' thing.
Hey. be honest with yourself... you KNOW unless a relationship status is confirmed on facebook it straight up DOESN'T COUNT. i don't care WHO you are! .. some people get facebook JUST to say they're in a relationship with someone!
So why can't friendships between people of the opposite sex be formed via facebook..?
the new rules:
1. they can't actually ask you on a date over facebook.. if they do you say 'homie.. pick up the phone or the answer is no'
2. They have to be able to be validated as a real person by at LEAST 5 people you know... we don't want anyone fallin off the face of the earth here
3. once the relationship leaves the facebook level.. you don't go back there.. you move forward... texting.. calling.. dating.. marriage.. whatev.
4. you tell NOBODY that you 'met him online' that sounds creepy.. you tell them you had mutual friends (which i'm sure you do.. check fb to make sure) that set you up... which if you think about is isn't a total lie here people.... you saw some hot guy.. saw that you had mutual friends with him.. added him.. and BOOOM! done and done.
**Myth buster: If it's COMPLETELY done over facebook it doesn't count... things can start there.. hey that's what social networking is FOR!
**Rule: all relationships have a formula.. if it worked for your friend that way.. it'll work for you.
FALSE!! every single relationship is as unique as a snowflake.. there are never 2 that are the same. My favorite is people that know 'exactly what you're going through'. I'm not saying they can't have an idea of what your going through and give you great advice that very well might come in handy through your trial but the emotions are different.. the people are different.. and the situation is therefore different.
JUST because your best friend was married 4 days after high school graduation and now has had 7 kids in 4 years doesn't mean that YOU will!
Just because your sister was married at 20 after dating the guy 11 days doesn't mean your relationship schedule is gonna go so easy breezy and beautiful...
There is no formula. There is no RIGHT way to fall or be in love. They're relationships between HUMANS.. and.. although some of us get DANG close.. NO HUMAN IS PERFECT! every single one of us is gonna have issues.. and they'll all be different. So, all of our relationships will be effected differently.
Let GO of the formula... let GO of the fact that you're the last one in your family to get married.. that you're the only one of your friends thats not in a relationship.. that your dude has taken TWICE as long as you thought to pop the question..
It's OK!! You are you. I am me. and John Jacob Jingle Himer Schmit is himself. we are not the same. our love lives will never be the same.
tackle your OWN demons. Don't let your grandmother pressure you into tackling more.
**Myth Buster: There IS no formula.. put the blinders up and focus on what is going on between YOU and YOUR BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND.. the world has no idea.. and they're only gonna screw it up.
So.. i know at the end of this i'm probably supposed to tell you to throw the rule book out the window..
But even in sports.. rules are there for a reason sometimes. However.. we all KNOW that these rules have exceptions.. loop holes.. and the dumb ones need to be ignored. Make a custom rule book for each relationship..
Out of every game there are winners.. and there are losers.
Don't play childish games.. you'll end up losing something amazing.
and if you choose to play any kind of game.. play the right kind..
you can always work to have more respect for or from someone.. you can always work to give someone a reason to love you more.. you don't have to play the "not gonna call YOU back.. not gonna call you FIRST.." games.
Re evaluate the relationships your in.. if you can't live without someone.. heLLLOO..
if you could never stand losing them.. quit the crap.. stop calling time out.. you've used up your penalties.. and you're about to foul out. The ref can only look the other way so many times.. step up your game before you lose.
Play to win.
PLay. Laugh. Grow.
xoxo
Princess Legitimacy
Deaf.. Dumb.. and Blind dating..
Do you believe in love at first sight?
The magical moment when two people's eyes meet and the game is overrrrrr.. fireworks go off.. they GLIDE toward each other through the fog and Michael Bolton (long hair michael.. not short hair) is there singing "When a man loves a woman".
First date. boom. over.
A couple that i know.. Sandy and Don.. knew after a WEEK of dating that they were meant for each other and they were getting married.
Another couple i know.. James and Jane.. knew the SECOND they met that they were getting married. Boom. over.
So.. love at first sight.. it's been done.
Do you believe in love at NO sight..?
We are in a whole new generation of dating... who needs eharmony (or eat-our-money as an unfortunate roomie likes to call it...) or ldssingles.org when you have FACEBOOK!
This conversation has happened too many times in my house this week for me not to address it....
"Guys.. i think i;m in love"
"aaw that's great!!! who is he!? tell me about him! where'd you meet?!!"
"well... he's suuuper athletic.. he.. loves his family.. he's really funny.. really nice.. really cute.. apparently he goes to Moab alot.. he just got out of a relationship.."
"hun.... where did you meet him......"
"well......."
"..... HAVE you met him..?
"no but.. he messaged me on facebook and... we're TOTALLY getting married!!"
sad? yes. true? unfortunately yes.
and of course when they DO meet they already know everything about each other from facebook stalking.. and it's not like.. "ooh you know her too?? small world!" nope. there are no surprises here that they both know the same people cuz duuuh... there's a mutual friends button for that!
it's like in "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince"..(the movie.. dont' quote me on the book) Ron is overtaken by a powerful love potion (in our case.. this poison.. i mean potion.. is Facebook) he goes to Harry and tells him that he's in love with Ramilda Vain.. "I think i'm in love with her!!" Harry replies "ok ok.. you're in love with her! Have you ever actually met her??"
"No! ....... could YOU introduce me?!"
Technically the first date wouldn't be a BLIND date... they practically have done background checks on each other by the time the actual DATE rolls around! They know how many pets they have had.. who their "family" is.. If they have attractive friends in case it doesn't work out..
It would be what i call a DUMB date. They already have wall paper picked out for their house together online.. they now just have to see if they have mad game in person.. and test how good of a kisser they are.. practically a no brainer.. it could be a 10 minute date!
now there are different types of dates that you go on.. depending on where you are and where you want to be as far as your relationship status goes.
There are the marriage hungry folk that, if after one date (or one hour) they don't have visions of each other in white... they not only move on when the date is over... they take their date home early!
There's the player daters that are "only in it for the fun" and are rarely interested in their dates... they're far more interested in people seeing them WITH their super hot dates..
There's the team captain daters that continue to recreationally date to make sure they still have game... and usually date at least a couple at a time.. it's an ego boost thing.
The girls on breaks with their boyfriends that go just because its a free dinner..
The recently broken up folk that don't really want to date.. but go just to go.. to tell themselves they're going on with their lives..
The people in "complicated" relationships that don't want to be the only one NOT dating someone else.. so again.. they just go..
and the pity daters that just don't know how to say no.. over and over and over again.
oooh ya.. i forgot the demographic of NORMAL people... but we all know there's not many of those.. so yall can just shut up.
Every date falls into either a) a deaf date b) a dumb date or c)a blind date
Deaf dates consist of routine questions.. practiced answers.. courtesy laughs.. awkward silences and suuuuper awkward door step moments.
these dates have usually been set up by your weird relatives that saw an old high school friend and frantically went through their minds of who they knew that was "hot and single" that they could set their waaaaaay awkward son up with... you said no to babysitting 3 times in a row... so.. if you didn't want to be avoided like the plague at the next family reunion.. you got stuck going on this date.
On these dates, neither one of the people is really interested.. and if you get a suuper fun one.. you'll get an egotistical maniac that not only is deaf.. but can't shut up about himself.. woo! those are treasures in the dating scrapbook.
These kind of dates happen in group settings too.. you get thrown with your friend's hot date's weird cousin that's in town.. paaarrtayy.
They're deaf dates cuz not only is nobody listening.. nobody cares.
Dumb dates are the dates you go on just to go on. The entire time you're on the date you want to be with someone else.. they usually happen in the pre-DTR phases of relationships where you don't know if you're dating other people or you've decided to date other people but don't want to.. You go on the date to make sure that you're dating but the whole time you're thinking.... "BOYYYYY if you try to kiss me.. i have a taser.."
You can have a lot of fun on these dates.. but they're just dumb cuz you don't see it going anywhere. You're just filling your time card and dating roster while you wait for something you WANT to happen.
Blind dates are the ones that you go into with no preconceived notions.. you go in completely blind.. sometimes things dont work out and you make a friend.. sometimes you come out with an engagement ring.
These are set up by best friends who know you and know your taste in the opposite sex. They pretty much have a 50 /50 chance of working out.
The "blind" dates are usually the ones you go into with both your eyes open.
now BLIND dates on the other hand... are ones that you are blind SIDED. One person is WAAAAY more into it than the other.. and really..? how could they be so friggin BLIND!!! No.. me sitting FAAAARRR away from you does NOT mean i want to hold your hand! .. me running away from you does NOT mean i'm playing hard to get and that i obviously want you to kiss me.. OPEN YOUR EYES. you blind....blind fool!!!
I had a dating experience like this in Highschool.. the boy.. bless his heart.. asked me to a school dance. When he asked me he knew that i had a boyfriend..a super hot boyfriend that could kick the crap out of him if he touched me .. so i assumed he was TOTALLY cool with going as friends.. i was wrong.
The fact that we were in a group setting also made me think i was off the hook...... once again.. i couldn't have BEEN more wrong..
This boy proceeded to attempt to hold my hand.. kiss my cheek.. pull the -arms around me all day long- crap.. when the whole time i was like BROOOO..... what are you DOING.. as i'm texting my super hot super buff boyfriend that you KNOW could kick the crap out of you..
at the end of the date came the door step moment..
It SHOULD'VE been a give in that.. HELLLOOOOOOOO .. there will be NO "insert kiss here" moment.. NOT GONNA HAPPEN... oooooh but he tried. poor soul. i'm like common man... could you BE more blind??
Yes. i was expecting my BF to throw DOWN when i explained to him my traumatic night.....
what did he do?
laughed.
and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed..
i think the ONLY words that came out of his mouth about the situation were "poor guy!!"
thanx bf.. i was threatening him in my mind ALL night for no dang reason. next time.. i'll pack my taser for sure.
You'll go on a series of all of the different exciting dates above.... Woo... yay for dating.
.. and then like i said.. there ARE such things as normal dates.. but those are no fun to blog about.. duuuuh..
ok for the second part...
i've seen things where people write.. "100 things to do instead of drugs" ..
i'm gonna make a new one.. "30 things to do instead of call your EX when you want to"
1. Paint your nails
2. curl your hair
3. Pull up ab ripper X.. JUST to laugh at how creepy Tony is
4. Watch "the princess and the frog"
5. Go Ghost ridin with a girlfriend
6. Play secret agent.. get dressed up in black and see if you can spy on your little sis and her bf
7. Start a blog (careful.. its addicting)
8. Go for a walk
9. Look up someone you dated in middle school and send them a FB message
10. pick your favorite book... now cast it with pictures of people off the internet. (if it's already been made into a movie.. recast it!).. unless it was Harry Potter.. recasting that is sacrilegious. dont. do. it.
11. Call your mom
12. Write a song
13. Look up the midget singing Katy Perry songs on Youtube... i'm obsessed with it now.
14. learn how to dougie
15. Download songs like "forget you".. "Don't want you back".."before he cheats".. and "Undo it" and drive with your windows down BELTING them out.. (girlfriends may or may not be included)
16. Get a sexay neighbor boy to teach you how to "properly" throw a spiral football
17. Play Wii !!
18. Play x box connect
19. Watch "a walk to remember".. and hide all sharp objects in your house
20. Go running
21. Go see the Justin Bieber movie.. i DARE you not to feel better..
22. Get OFF FACEBOOK!! YOU'RE JUST MAKING IT WORSE!!
23. Read "The girl with the dragon tattoo" series...it's amazing
24. Make a bucket list
25. Go to a park and play on the playground
26. Name the dog.. that you want.. but probably will never get.
27. Call your best friend.. she'll remind you how much you DON'T want to call your ex.
28. Try to speak ALLL day with a british accent.. it's harder than you think!
29. Take a nap.
30. Did i already say start a blog'?... crap. sorry.. i couldn't just end on 29.. THAT would be awkward.
There's a million and one things you could add to this list.
This could be your list of things to do instead of drugs.. while attempting to kick a facebook addiction.. pulling yourself out of depression.. or your bored on saturday list.. use it to spice up your life.
Challenge...
mmk this is going to sound stupid. but you HAVE to do it...
set a timer on your phone for 6 minutes..
sit by yourself.. and smile.
you are NOT ALLOWED TO STOP SMILING TIL YOUR TIMER GOES OFF!!!
every time a bad or negative thought comes into your mind you have to ninja chop it and say "DIE" in the creepy accent of your choice.
Think of at least 20 things going right in your life or 20 things that make you happy..
once the 6 minutes is up.. you can go live the rest of your day.. and the rest of your life.
DO IT. i promise that you will not regret it!! You have 6 minutes.. i don't care how busy you are.
Until tomorrow.. Peace. Love. Justin Bieber.
xoxo
- Callymon
The magical moment when two people's eyes meet and the game is overrrrrr.. fireworks go off.. they GLIDE toward each other through the fog and Michael Bolton (long hair michael.. not short hair) is there singing "When a man loves a woman".
First date. boom. over.
A couple that i know.. Sandy and Don.. knew after a WEEK of dating that they were meant for each other and they were getting married.
Another couple i know.. James and Jane.. knew the SECOND they met that they were getting married. Boom. over.
So.. love at first sight.. it's been done.
Do you believe in love at NO sight..?
We are in a whole new generation of dating... who needs eharmony (or eat-our-money as an unfortunate roomie likes to call it...) or ldssingles.org when you have FACEBOOK!
This conversation has happened too many times in my house this week for me not to address it....
"Guys.. i think i;m in love"
"aaw that's great!!! who is he!? tell me about him! where'd you meet?!!"
"well... he's suuuper athletic.. he.. loves his family.. he's really funny.. really nice.. really cute.. apparently he goes to Moab alot.. he just got out of a relationship.."
"hun.... where did you meet him......"
"well......."
"..... HAVE you met him..?
"no but.. he messaged me on facebook and... we're TOTALLY getting married!!"
sad? yes. true? unfortunately yes.
and of course when they DO meet they already know everything about each other from facebook stalking.. and it's not like.. "ooh you know her too?? small world!" nope. there are no surprises here that they both know the same people cuz duuuh... there's a mutual friends button for that!
it's like in "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince"..(the movie.. dont' quote me on the book) Ron is overtaken by a powerful love potion (in our case.. this poison.. i mean potion.. is Facebook) he goes to Harry and tells him that he's in love with Ramilda Vain.. "I think i'm in love with her!!" Harry replies "ok ok.. you're in love with her! Have you ever actually met her??"
"No! ....... could YOU introduce me?!"
Technically the first date wouldn't be a BLIND date... they practically have done background checks on each other by the time the actual DATE rolls around! They know how many pets they have had.. who their "family" is.. If they have attractive friends in case it doesn't work out..
It would be what i call a DUMB date. They already have wall paper picked out for their house together online.. they now just have to see if they have mad game in person.. and test how good of a kisser they are.. practically a no brainer.. it could be a 10 minute date!
now there are different types of dates that you go on.. depending on where you are and where you want to be as far as your relationship status goes.
There are the marriage hungry folk that, if after one date (or one hour) they don't have visions of each other in white... they not only move on when the date is over... they take their date home early!
There's the player daters that are "only in it for the fun" and are rarely interested in their dates... they're far more interested in people seeing them WITH their super hot dates..
There's the team captain daters that continue to recreationally date to make sure they still have game... and usually date at least a couple at a time.. it's an ego boost thing.
The girls on breaks with their boyfriends that go just because its a free dinner..
The recently broken up folk that don't really want to date.. but go just to go.. to tell themselves they're going on with their lives..
The people in "complicated" relationships that don't want to be the only one NOT dating someone else.. so again.. they just go..
and the pity daters that just don't know how to say no.. over and over and over again.
oooh ya.. i forgot the demographic of NORMAL people... but we all know there's not many of those.. so yall can just shut up.
Every date falls into either a) a deaf date b) a dumb date or c)a blind date
Deaf dates consist of routine questions.. practiced answers.. courtesy laughs.. awkward silences and suuuuper awkward door step moments.
these dates have usually been set up by your weird relatives that saw an old high school friend and frantically went through their minds of who they knew that was "hot and single" that they could set their waaaaaay awkward son up with... you said no to babysitting 3 times in a row... so.. if you didn't want to be avoided like the plague at the next family reunion.. you got stuck going on this date.
On these dates, neither one of the people is really interested.. and if you get a suuper fun one.. you'll get an egotistical maniac that not only is deaf.. but can't shut up about himself.. woo! those are treasures in the dating scrapbook.
These kind of dates happen in group settings too.. you get thrown with your friend's hot date's weird cousin that's in town.. paaarrtayy.
They're deaf dates cuz not only is nobody listening.. nobody cares.
Dumb dates are the dates you go on just to go on. The entire time you're on the date you want to be with someone else.. they usually happen in the pre-DTR phases of relationships where you don't know if you're dating other people or you've decided to date other people but don't want to.. You go on the date to make sure that you're dating but the whole time you're thinking.... "BOYYYYY if you try to kiss me.. i have a taser.."
You can have a lot of fun on these dates.. but they're just dumb cuz you don't see it going anywhere. You're just filling your time card and dating roster while you wait for something you WANT to happen.
Blind dates are the ones that you go into with no preconceived notions.. you go in completely blind.. sometimes things dont work out and you make a friend.. sometimes you come out with an engagement ring.
These are set up by best friends who know you and know your taste in the opposite sex. They pretty much have a 50 /50 chance of working out.
The "blind" dates are usually the ones you go into with both your eyes open.
now BLIND dates on the other hand... are ones that you are blind SIDED. One person is WAAAAY more into it than the other.. and really..? how could they be so friggin BLIND!!! No.. me sitting FAAAARRR away from you does NOT mean i want to hold your hand! .. me running away from you does NOT mean i'm playing hard to get and that i obviously want you to kiss me.. OPEN YOUR EYES. you blind....blind fool!!!
I had a dating experience like this in Highschool.. the boy.. bless his heart.. asked me to a school dance. When he asked me he knew that i had a boyfriend..a super hot boyfriend that could kick the crap out of him if he touched me .. so i assumed he was TOTALLY cool with going as friends.. i was wrong.
The fact that we were in a group setting also made me think i was off the hook...... once again.. i couldn't have BEEN more wrong..
This boy proceeded to attempt to hold my hand.. kiss my cheek.. pull the -arms around me all day long- crap.. when the whole time i was like BROOOO..... what are you DOING.. as i'm texting my super hot super buff boyfriend that you KNOW could kick the crap out of you..
at the end of the date came the door step moment..
It SHOULD'VE been a give in that.. HELLLOOOOOOOO .. there will be NO "insert kiss here" moment.. NOT GONNA HAPPEN... oooooh but he tried. poor soul. i'm like common man... could you BE more blind??
Yes. i was expecting my BF to throw DOWN when i explained to him my traumatic night.....
what did he do?
laughed.
and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed..
i think the ONLY words that came out of his mouth about the situation were "poor guy!!"
thanx bf.. i was threatening him in my mind ALL night for no dang reason. next time.. i'll pack my taser for sure.
You'll go on a series of all of the different exciting dates above.... Woo... yay for dating.
.. and then like i said.. there ARE such things as normal dates.. but those are no fun to blog about.. duuuuh..
ok for the second part...
i've seen things where people write.. "100 things to do instead of drugs" ..
i'm gonna make a new one.. "30 things to do instead of call your EX when you want to"
1. Paint your nails
2. curl your hair
3. Pull up ab ripper X.. JUST to laugh at how creepy Tony is
4. Watch "the princess and the frog"
5. Go Ghost ridin with a girlfriend
6. Play secret agent.. get dressed up in black and see if you can spy on your little sis and her bf
7. Start a blog (careful.. its addicting)
8. Go for a walk
9. Look up someone you dated in middle school and send them a FB message
10. pick your favorite book... now cast it with pictures of people off the internet. (if it's already been made into a movie.. recast it!).. unless it was Harry Potter.. recasting that is sacrilegious. dont. do. it.
11. Call your mom
12. Write a song
13. Look up the midget singing Katy Perry songs on Youtube... i'm obsessed with it now.
14. learn how to dougie
15. Download songs like "forget you".. "Don't want you back".."before he cheats".. and "Undo it" and drive with your windows down BELTING them out.. (girlfriends may or may not be included)
16. Get a sexay neighbor boy to teach you how to "properly" throw a spiral football
17. Play Wii !!
18. Play x box connect
19. Watch "a walk to remember".. and hide all sharp objects in your house
20. Go running
21. Go see the Justin Bieber movie.. i DARE you not to feel better..
22. Get OFF FACEBOOK!! YOU'RE JUST MAKING IT WORSE!!
23. Read "The girl with the dragon tattoo" series...it's amazing
24. Make a bucket list
25. Go to a park and play on the playground
26. Name the dog.. that you want.. but probably will never get.
27. Call your best friend.. she'll remind you how much you DON'T want to call your ex.
28. Try to speak ALLL day with a british accent.. it's harder than you think!
29. Take a nap.
30. Did i already say start a blog'?... crap. sorry.. i couldn't just end on 29.. THAT would be awkward.
There's a million and one things you could add to this list.
This could be your list of things to do instead of drugs.. while attempting to kick a facebook addiction.. pulling yourself out of depression.. or your bored on saturday list.. use it to spice up your life.
Challenge...
mmk this is going to sound stupid. but you HAVE to do it...
set a timer on your phone for 6 minutes..
sit by yourself.. and smile.
you are NOT ALLOWED TO STOP SMILING TIL YOUR TIMER GOES OFF!!!
every time a bad or negative thought comes into your mind you have to ninja chop it and say "DIE" in the creepy accent of your choice.
Think of at least 20 things going right in your life or 20 things that make you happy..
once the 6 minutes is up.. you can go live the rest of your day.. and the rest of your life.
DO IT. i promise that you will not regret it!! You have 6 minutes.. i don't care how busy you are.
Until tomorrow.. Peace. Love. Justin Bieber.
xoxo
- Callymon
March 8, 2011
Break up Standard Time
When you move through out the world... country.. and sometimes even the state.. you are put on different standards of time.. In California they're the first to know everything.. first to make a good book a movie.. first up in the morning to serf.. first choice for most people to go to college... and they have disney land so obviously.. they were given first pick. Pacific Standard time.
In Utah.. we're kinda in the middle of a lot.. we're literally in the middle of a bunch of mountains (in the Salt Lake valley..).. some people love us.. some people hate us .. some people still think we ride horses to school and french braid our hair.. all of our pictures on facebook have either a "summer" or "winter" vibe.. or basically we're reallllly tan.. or reaaallly need to go tanning... and Stephanie Meyer is from here.. so instead of the lower part of the middle... our points got - well deservingly - pushed to the middle. so. we got Mountain standard time.
In new york.. they're running around meeting deadlines and trying not to get squished by all the big buildings so naturally.. since their taxies can't even wait for people to cross the street.. they made them develop some sort of patience with Eastern standard time.
Everywhere we go people tell us how to set our watches.
We're given a "natural" amount of time that we're supposed to sleep.
On the back of our pop tart.. hot pocket.. and oven pizza boxes.. it tells us exactly how much time to put it in the oven before we can expect to roast marshmallows on it..
We have a pop corn button on our microwave to make sure we don't screw up THAT sacred food!
I know that it takes 45 minutes to get from my house in salt lake to my apartment in provo.. but only 35 minutes to get back when im rockin out to spice girls and N*sync.
I know that it takes 2.4 seconds for my car to go from 90 to 65 mph when i see a cop on the side of the freeway..
So. when it comes to relationships... and break ups.. why don't we have a "pop corn button"..?
or do we?
is there a certain standard of time that we're supposed to take to get over someone.. and then once that passes we go from the "recently single and mourning" phase to the "pathetically still sad over a dead relationship" phase..?
Is there a Break up standard time....?
Most people would say it depends on how long you were in the relationship.
if you kissed him once and dated him a week.. and you're still mourning him a month after you broke up.. you need to get out more.
If you dated him 5 years.. and you stop mourning him after 2 weeks.. you ARE the grinch and your heart is 3 sizes too small.
Sure everything plays into it..
The sense of closure you get.. what new fantastic guy walks into your life after him.. and how many times your best friends egg his car in your name..
Charlotte on Sex and the City says.. that it takes exactly half of the time you were in the relationship to get over the person you were in the relationship with.
So if you've been in a relationship you're whole life.. it's gonna take you half of the rest of your life to get over the dude. woo. who's lookin forward to that..
Cheryl Crow says.. first cut is the deepest. The first time you fall in love will be the hardest one to get over. So all you people who have only been in love once... Cheryl Crow says you're doomed.
Each person.. each group in society.. and every gossip girl stammering to give you relationship advice will have their own standard of "Break up Standard Time".
The thing you need to realize is.. yours is the only one that matters!!
You don't have to set your alarm clock and jump up ready to tackle the world of relationships again when it goes off!
I was sitting with my girlfriends this weekend and they were talking about how they felt so pathetic for still being hung up on some guy.. the same guy that they fought girls in high school for.. the same guy they had their first kiss with.. and the one they planned on having their last with.
Sometimes the love never fully goes away until you find something new and something better..
so. You're job? you recently single people.... Get dressed up.. fixed up.. set up.. and don't worry about the guy or girl in the back of your mind.. throw on some spice girls and "spice up your life".. go dancing.. make yourself available.. and hey.. you WILL get through this and come into a new phase of "recently in a relationship" as soon as you let yourself!
In "The Wedding Date".. Nick says that "every woman has the exact relationship she wants" .. Kat replies, completely appalled, "are you saying that i WANT to be single and miserable.. that i WANT to be hung up on some guy that.. out of the blue.. broke my heart?!!"
Nick replies with "yes.... when you're ready to move on..to be un-single and un-miserable.. you will be.. until then..."
You have the exact love life that you want. Choose the one that you REALLY want.. and make it happen!
For all of you that HAVEN'T been in a recent break up.. you get to embrace my idea about "Soul Mates".
Time after time people tell me that they don't exist. That there's no WAY in the world that there could be ONE person right for every single person.. i tell them to pop some friggin pop corn.. pull up a disney movie and their "relationship-polar-express-bell" and BELIEVE!!! cuz.. my bell? is ringin off the HOOK. my tinkerbell FLIES dang it.. cuz i believe in the soul mate..
I know a big part of this is that i'm a hopeless romantic and.. like i said before.. i believe in happily ever after..
ok. so i was just chastised by my sister.. i should put a disclaimer in that no... there is not one person you're MADE to be with.. but whoever you end up with IS technically your "soulmate"... and you CAN make it work with anyone.. blah blah blah.. yes this is true. But i believe that there is one man in this world that can make me happy and that i'm going to find him and be with him dang it! Whether i've found him or not.. i'm sure is a topic of many late night chats around the valley.. or lets be honest.. around my house and family .. but i DO believe he is out there.
so... to help him out. I'm going to point him in the right direction..
most guys.. you can take notes from this.. and then modify it to fit your soulmate.. (I'll try to standardize my McCallness as much as i can for other believers out there who's guys need some counsel..)
Dear Soulmate,
If you're reading my blog.. which you should be to learn my inner thoughts.. you know that i like cheese. Not the kind that comes out of a can like the goofy movie (it's the leaning tower of cheeeese-a!).. not the kind you eat with crackers like you did in 5th grade.. but the kind that comes out of your mouth with sincerity... the result of preparation and study.. i LIKE to get flowers with cheesy sayings like "a girl like you deserves a flower every day".. i LOVE slow dancing in my basement and kissing in the rain on top of hill tops... i ENJOY being the cliche at the end of the movie when they look deeeeeep into each others eyes and confess their love for each other... and.. I do expect you to know what makes me happy so let me inform you...
i love thinking and feeling like i'm the only girl in the world. When you make an effort to make me feel this way.. it gives me security in our relationship.
Pay attention closely to how i react in different situations.. cuz most of the time i'm not gonna tell you when something is wrong.. i'm just gonna expect you to know and to hold me as tight as you can.
When i don't talk very much i'm one of 3 things... reallllll mad at chu.. Sad about SOMETHIN... or i feel unloved.. all 3 are bad... VERY BAD.
I get loud when i get nervous and frustrated.
You will absolutely know when i want you to kiss me. and when you know.. DO IT! NEVER EVER ask me if you can kiss me.. i will say no.
I love holding hands. i think its amazing.
Show me off to your friends.. i want to feel WANTED.. like you're PROUD to be with me..
if you EVER try to keep me a secret.. you will be crossed off my soulmate list very quickly.
When i cry.. which i can promise you wont happen very often.. kiss my tears away.. and.. DO. NOT. LET. ME. GO. UNTIL. I. STOP.!
I am a genie...and a psychic so if you ever try to lie to me.. don't. Cuz first off.. i'll know.. i'll find out.. and you will definitely regret it.
I will definitely write songs about every part of our relationship.. i'm sorry if i write a lot of sad ones... the happy ones will come i promise.. eventually.
i'm going to think every song on the radio is about us.. every love song will speak to me and most likely make me fall more in love with you.. i see this as a weakness of mine.. but apparently Rascal Flatts have read my diary.. and my blog.. cuz the dudes just KNOW!! not my fault.
For the rest of me.. you're gonna have to figure out on your own.. hey now.. i have to maintain SOME mystery.. right?
Love,
Your soul mate callymon.
Bottom line.. all you soul-mates out there... guys think girls are soooo hard to figure out..and sooo hard to understand...
HOW HARD is it to give us flowers.. tell us that we're pretty.. and that we're right..? not. that. hard.
girls... learn to trust.. and if he deceives you.. let me know. i know people that know people.. that KNOW people...that have guns. and eggs.
Guys. don't mess with us. we stalk you on fb.. we know what you do on the weekends.. and we're not afraid to call for backup. just LOVE us. and nobody gets hurt.
Until tomorrow!!
sorry for the double post tuesday btw..
xoxo
-Callymon
Ps.. Sound track to my life song today: "Only You Can love Me this way".. Keith my husband Urban
"One day you will" Lady A.
In Utah.. we're kinda in the middle of a lot.. we're literally in the middle of a bunch of mountains (in the Salt Lake valley..).. some people love us.. some people hate us .. some people still think we ride horses to school and french braid our hair.. all of our pictures on facebook have either a "summer" or "winter" vibe.. or basically we're reallllly tan.. or reaaallly need to go tanning... and Stephanie Meyer is from here.. so instead of the lower part of the middle... our points got - well deservingly - pushed to the middle. so. we got Mountain standard time.
In new york.. they're running around meeting deadlines and trying not to get squished by all the big buildings so naturally.. since their taxies can't even wait for people to cross the street.. they made them develop some sort of patience with Eastern standard time.
Everywhere we go people tell us how to set our watches.
We're given a "natural" amount of time that we're supposed to sleep.
On the back of our pop tart.. hot pocket.. and oven pizza boxes.. it tells us exactly how much time to put it in the oven before we can expect to roast marshmallows on it..
We have a pop corn button on our microwave to make sure we don't screw up THAT sacred food!
I know that it takes 45 minutes to get from my house in salt lake to my apartment in provo.. but only 35 minutes to get back when im rockin out to spice girls and N*sync.
I know that it takes 2.4 seconds for my car to go from 90 to 65 mph when i see a cop on the side of the freeway..
So. when it comes to relationships... and break ups.. why don't we have a "pop corn button"..?
or do we?
is there a certain standard of time that we're supposed to take to get over someone.. and then once that passes we go from the "recently single and mourning" phase to the "pathetically still sad over a dead relationship" phase..?
Is there a Break up standard time....?
Most people would say it depends on how long you were in the relationship.
if you kissed him once and dated him a week.. and you're still mourning him a month after you broke up.. you need to get out more.
If you dated him 5 years.. and you stop mourning him after 2 weeks.. you ARE the grinch and your heart is 3 sizes too small.
Sure everything plays into it..
The sense of closure you get.. what new fantastic guy walks into your life after him.. and how many times your best friends egg his car in your name..
Charlotte on Sex and the City says.. that it takes exactly half of the time you were in the relationship to get over the person you were in the relationship with.
So if you've been in a relationship you're whole life.. it's gonna take you half of the rest of your life to get over the dude. woo. who's lookin forward to that..
Cheryl Crow says.. first cut is the deepest. The first time you fall in love will be the hardest one to get over. So all you people who have only been in love once... Cheryl Crow says you're doomed.
Each person.. each group in society.. and every gossip girl stammering to give you relationship advice will have their own standard of "Break up Standard Time".
The thing you need to realize is.. yours is the only one that matters!!
You don't have to set your alarm clock and jump up ready to tackle the world of relationships again when it goes off!
I was sitting with my girlfriends this weekend and they were talking about how they felt so pathetic for still being hung up on some guy.. the same guy that they fought girls in high school for.. the same guy they had their first kiss with.. and the one they planned on having their last with.
Sometimes the love never fully goes away until you find something new and something better..
so. You're job? you recently single people.... Get dressed up.. fixed up.. set up.. and don't worry about the guy or girl in the back of your mind.. throw on some spice girls and "spice up your life".. go dancing.. make yourself available.. and hey.. you WILL get through this and come into a new phase of "recently in a relationship" as soon as you let yourself!
In "The Wedding Date".. Nick says that "every woman has the exact relationship she wants" .. Kat replies, completely appalled, "are you saying that i WANT to be single and miserable.. that i WANT to be hung up on some guy that.. out of the blue.. broke my heart?!!"
Nick replies with "yes.... when you're ready to move on..to be un-single and un-miserable.. you will be.. until then..."
You have the exact love life that you want. Choose the one that you REALLY want.. and make it happen!
For all of you that HAVEN'T been in a recent break up.. you get to embrace my idea about "Soul Mates".
Time after time people tell me that they don't exist. That there's no WAY in the world that there could be ONE person right for every single person.. i tell them to pop some friggin pop corn.. pull up a disney movie and their "relationship-polar-express-bell" and BELIEVE!!! cuz.. my bell? is ringin off the HOOK. my tinkerbell FLIES dang it.. cuz i believe in the soul mate..
I know a big part of this is that i'm a hopeless romantic and.. like i said before.. i believe in happily ever after..
ok. so i was just chastised by my sister.. i should put a disclaimer in that no... there is not one person you're MADE to be with.. but whoever you end up with IS technically your "soulmate"... and you CAN make it work with anyone.. blah blah blah.. yes this is true. But i believe that there is one man in this world that can make me happy and that i'm going to find him and be with him dang it! Whether i've found him or not.. i'm sure is a topic of many late night chats around the valley.. or lets be honest.. around my house and family .. but i DO believe he is out there.
so... to help him out. I'm going to point him in the right direction..
most guys.. you can take notes from this.. and then modify it to fit your soulmate.. (I'll try to standardize my McCallness as much as i can for other believers out there who's guys need some counsel..)
Dear Soulmate,
If you're reading my blog.. which you should be to learn my inner thoughts.. you know that i like cheese. Not the kind that comes out of a can like the goofy movie (it's the leaning tower of cheeeese-a!).. not the kind you eat with crackers like you did in 5th grade.. but the kind that comes out of your mouth with sincerity... the result of preparation and study.. i LIKE to get flowers with cheesy sayings like "a girl like you deserves a flower every day".. i LOVE slow dancing in my basement and kissing in the rain on top of hill tops... i ENJOY being the cliche at the end of the movie when they look deeeeeep into each others eyes and confess their love for each other... and.. I do expect you to know what makes me happy so let me inform you...
i love thinking and feeling like i'm the only girl in the world. When you make an effort to make me feel this way.. it gives me security in our relationship.
Pay attention closely to how i react in different situations.. cuz most of the time i'm not gonna tell you when something is wrong.. i'm just gonna expect you to know and to hold me as tight as you can.
When i don't talk very much i'm one of 3 things... reallllll mad at chu.. Sad about SOMETHIN... or i feel unloved.. all 3 are bad... VERY BAD.
I get loud when i get nervous and frustrated.
You will absolutely know when i want you to kiss me. and when you know.. DO IT! NEVER EVER ask me if you can kiss me.. i will say no.
I love holding hands. i think its amazing.
Show me off to your friends.. i want to feel WANTED.. like you're PROUD to be with me..
if you EVER try to keep me a secret.. you will be crossed off my soulmate list very quickly.
When i cry.. which i can promise you wont happen very often.. kiss my tears away.. and.. DO. NOT. LET. ME. GO. UNTIL. I. STOP.!
I am a genie...and a psychic so if you ever try to lie to me.. don't. Cuz first off.. i'll know.. i'll find out.. and you will definitely regret it.
I will definitely write songs about every part of our relationship.. i'm sorry if i write a lot of sad ones... the happy ones will come i promise.. eventually.
i'm going to think every song on the radio is about us.. every love song will speak to me and most likely make me fall more in love with you.. i see this as a weakness of mine.. but apparently Rascal Flatts have read my diary.. and my blog.. cuz the dudes just KNOW!! not my fault.
For the rest of me.. you're gonna have to figure out on your own.. hey now.. i have to maintain SOME mystery.. right?
Love,
Your soul mate callymon.
Bottom line.. all you soul-mates out there... guys think girls are soooo hard to figure out..and sooo hard to understand...
HOW HARD is it to give us flowers.. tell us that we're pretty.. and that we're right..? not. that. hard.
girls... learn to trust.. and if he deceives you.. let me know. i know people that know people.. that KNOW people...that have guns. and eggs.
Guys. don't mess with us. we stalk you on fb.. we know what you do on the weekends.. and we're not afraid to call for backup. just LOVE us. and nobody gets hurt.
Until tomorrow!!
sorry for the double post tuesday btw..
xoxo
-Callymon
Ps.. Sound track to my life song today: "Only You Can love Me this way".. Keith my husband Urban
"One day you will" Lady A.
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